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Royal Family | Anorak - Part 19

Royal Family Category

The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse

David Cameron Takes Her Majesty The Queen Upstairs: Photos

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The Queen walks up the staircase in 10 Downing Street today with Prime Minister David Cameron before having lunch together to mark the Duke of Edinburgh's 90th birthday.

Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Queen And Duke Luncheon WIth Camerons At Number 10: Photos

THE Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh have been greeted by Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife Samantha at Downing Street, London. This was a luncheon to mark the Duke’s 90th birthday.

Dave was in his element. A man bred for power who knows how to eat his soup exists for such grand occasions. Gordon Brown would most likely have got the teaspoon caught in his trouser pocket, and Nick Clegg… Well, if Dave drops his napkin, Nick’s your man to pick it up and place it back on his master’s lap in the right way…

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Posted: 21st, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Kate Middleton Smiles And Waves At Order Of The Garter: Photos

KATE Middleton (as she must always be known among the riffraff and on the internet search engines), was at the Order of the Garter Service at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. Sadly, the Duchess of Cambridge wore no visibly garter, leaving the her husband Prince William, Margaret Thatcher (Sarah Palin Hater No. 1) and others a free run at the dressing up box…

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Duchess of Cambridge leaves after the annual Order of the Garter Service at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, England.

Posted: 13th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Marquess Of Bath’s Wiflets Fight Over Leather Skirts And Bedding Rights

THE wifelets to the Marquess of Bath have been rowing over who would sleep with him. To the petting zoo at Longleat House, Wiltshire, where one woman, allegedly, has suffered a suspected broken nose and cut eye.

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Posted: 12th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Trooping The Colour Photos: Prince William Top Rooney And Kate Smells One

PRINCE William and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, have been trooping the Colour. You who have not been trooping might think it a kind of camping, or yomping. It is. But you get to do it in London, well away from farming types and that mass of spite, alcoholism and bitterness experts call the countryside.

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Posted: 11th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Prince Philip Eats Cheese: Photos Of The Man’s Private Life

HAPPY birthday Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark, Phil The Greek, Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg. You are The Gaffemeister, a person who only exists in news print when you make a “gaffe”, saying the unsayable to some obsequious expats. And it is the emigrants that are the problem.

Phil’s gaffes are based on the assumption that foreignness is something you can catch:

He told a Briton he met in Hungary in 1993: “You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly”.

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Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


When Prince Charles Met Shrek: Photos Of A Hairy Moment

TO the “special performance” of Shrek The Musical at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, London. Prince Charles and Jack Black were there to meet and greet Richard Blackwood as Donkey, Amanda Holden as Princess Fiona and Nigel Lindsay as Shrek – who now looks nothing like hairy Wayne Rooney

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Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Did Soiled Ballot Papers Cost Pippa Middleton Rear Of Year Title? Photos

PIPPA Middleton is not the Queen of Bums, Arses and Backsides. Pippa did not win the coveted Rear of the Year title. The winner is Carol Vorderman.

Pippa scored well for Shaggability (an impressive 94% would) but lost marks in the crucial Bottom You’d Most To Like To Use The Toilet After category amid confusion on the term “throne”.

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Posted: 8th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Duchess Of Cornwall Attends Hay Festival (Eats Well)

THE Duchess Of Cornwall has been attending the Hay Festival.

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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Pippa Middleton Goes Courting In Paris: Photos

WILL bikini-clad, topless stunna Pippa Middleton embrace the celebrity foisted on her by big sister Kate’s marriage to the future King?

Well, for the second time in a week, Pippa’s on the front page of the Daily Mail.

The headline thunders:

“PIPPA’S PARIS ‘DATE’ WITH MR PEUGEOT”

Mr Peugeot sounds a bit downmarket for out Pippa? Was Mr Leyland-Daf busy? Was young Master Lada at the shops?

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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment


Pippa Middleton Wants You To Smash Justin Bieber In The Face

THE Middletons are to “Make a mint” out of “pop star deal”. So says the Daily Mail on a front page featuring Pippa Middleton, Our Lady Of the Glorious Bum.

Can it be that Pippa is to unveil her pipes on a record? No. The news is that Pippa’s mum and dad are now flogging Justin Bieber tat on their website.

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Posted: 30th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Pippa Middleton’s Bum Spotted In Stoke, Cambridge and Burnham On Crouch: Photos

PIPPA Middleton’s bum is “number one op choice”, says the News of The World. The story goes that men and woman looking for bum implants are opting for The Pippa.

We learn:

Plastic surgeons have seen a surge in women asking for a “Pippa” since the royal wedding.

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Posted: 22nd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (2)


Queen’s Trip To Ireland – Day 4 Photos: The Empire Coffin And Paper Suits

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Queen Elizabeth II visiting Tyndall National Institute in Cork on the last day of her State Visit to Ireland.

Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Queen Meets Mary Byrne, Westlife And Riverdance: Irish Revenge Mission Begins In Earnest

DAY 3 of the Queen’s visit to Ireland: Her Majesty meets X Factor contestant Mary Byrne and singing-down-the-phone boyband Westlife at the National Convention Centre in Dublin and then sees Riverdance. The Irish will not redress the pain of British rule over night, but they’ve made a decent start…

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Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Queen’s Visit To Ireland: Days 2 – Croke Park’s Little People

THE Queen is in Ireland. It’s Day 2 of the visit. Protests against the visit and support for it are fierce:

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Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Queen’s Visit To Ireland In Photos: Day 1 – Sights, Fights And Gobshites

THE Queen is in Ireland. It’s Day 1 of the visit. Protests against the visit and support for it are fierce:

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A protestor is restrained in a street in Dublin after Queen Elizabeth II arrived in the country for a four day State Visit.

Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)


Prince Philip’s Bobby Sands Joke In Full

NO bomb went off in Ireland today. Prince Philip did not drop the M-bomb (Mick), P-bomb (Paddy) or F-bomb (Fenian) in public.
Says one insider:

“When Philip heard a bomb had been found in Dublin he did wonder aloud if the wiring had been done by an Indian Catholic before launching into an impression of Ghandi ordering a curry from Bobby Sands and his joke about Phil Lynott that ends with the punchline ‘black and tan’. It’s only to be expected.”

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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Prince Harry And Chelsy To Marry For World Peace

NEWS is that Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy are “BACK ON!” They are to “give their love another try”.

For those of you who care not one iota for the pair, we remind you of the words of ITV news anchor Julie Etchingham on the eve of Kate’s wedding to Wills:

[This] is an opportunity for optimism about the future – in a moment our history is marked by tough economic times at home, and disaster and death all around the world.

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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (8)


Queen Wears On-Trend Orange For Irish Trip: Black And Tan So Last Year

HER Majesty the Queen is in Dublin. Elizabeth has selected her outfits in an effort to blend in while also standing apart.

Says Anoraks fashion expert Olive Branch: “Black and tan are soooo 1921…”

Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Queen’s Visit to Ireland: Remembering The Bombs In Dublin, Monaghan And Birmingham

IRELAND is making ready for a visit from Her Majesty the Queen. The impoverished country, bailed out by the EU-International Monetary Fund, has found some cash for the Queen’s first State visit to the country. Perhaps some of the £7bn the UK has dropped on Ireland will fund the trip?

The parade and party is not popular with everyone.

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Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Camilla And Queen Elizabeth Windsor Horse Show Kiss Off (Photo)

TO the Royal Windsor Horse Show, where Queen Elizabeth II has been greeting the Duchess of Cornwall. Fancy offering caption? go om. It’s hard to resist.

The show runs from May 11 to May 15, alongside the Royal Windsor Tattoo (of which the Queen has “several“)…

Posted: 13th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (6)


Princess Diana Death Photos: What Harm Can They Do?

WANT to see photos of the dying Princess Diana? Of course, if you wanted to, you already have. Chi magazine published them years ago. And Channel 4 published the crash photos in 2007, in piece of tabloid telly called Diana: The Witnesses in the Tunnel.

Said the broadcaster:

“These photographs are an important and accurate eyewitness record of how events unfolded after the crash.”

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Posted: 12th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (18)


Sarah Ferguson Pimps Out Beatrice’s Hat (For Charity)

CASHING in on Princess Beatrice’s hat is her mum Sarah Ferguson who tells the Oprah Winfrey Show that her 22-year-old daughter is sticking her lid on eBay. Says Fergie:

“She’s putting it up on eBay to auction it for UNICEF and for children in crisis.”

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Posted: 12th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4)


Joe McElderry Plays Mirren’s Queen: Literally

WE can confirm that X Factor sensation Joe McElderry is alive and is still singing, it being his lot to perform at a reception to celebrate young people at Buckingham Palace.

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Posted: 10th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Kate Middleton Photos: Upskirts, Bikinis And Roller Blades

KATE Middleton is no more. Princess Catherine is the way ahead. Here’s a look at some memorable moments with Our Cathy. The photos are NSFW – it being what she would have wanted…

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Posted: 7th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (3)