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Manchester United: Van Gaal seeks excuses in money but the figures prove him wrong

van gaal

 

Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal has news for the club’s fans: your team isn’t as good as it was when it was winning things season on season.

Man United no longer dominate the Barclays Premier League and target top European honours as they did under Sir Alex Ferguson. Van Gaal says anyone looking at the past and expecting a repeat is in dream land.

He told the Press:

“I am working very hard and my players are working very hard to do everything we can. The problem is that we have to meet with expectations and the expectations at Manchester United are very high. That is our problem. You can see there were a lot of positive things [during the Champions League defeat by Wolfsburg], but if you don’t want to see that, that’s not my problem. I work hard, my players work hard and now we are in the Europa League and we have to work hard to win that. That is not easy, but nobody hears that.

“They don’t want to hear me. They say a club like Manchester United has to win. That’s the past. You have to analyse the club now. [You cannot] compare it with ten years ago, because there has been an evolution in football, European football. It is not as easy as everybody thinks. Now we have many more clubs [in England and in Europe] who have money, and the structure to win things. Next year, all the clubs in the Premier League have a bigger budget than most of the clubs in Europe. That makes a big difference. Every club can buy a player: the difference [in the transfer market] is not so big.

“You think Manchester United has a lot of money, that is true, but the difference [with others] is not so big any more. The confirmation is every week. The bottom clubs can beat the top teams. There is no other league that this happens as often as it does in the Premier League. That makes it very difficult for a Premier League club to match [teams] from other leagues in the Champions League.”

Adding:

“We shall do everything to win something, but it is very difficult. It is not only difficult for Manchester United. It is also difficult for Manchester City and Liverpool, Arsenal or Chelsea or Leicester.”

Leicester City did not spend more than £250 million on players, as United have done since Van Gaal took over at Old Trafford. Money matter – but it can’t be the only reason teams win.

Oliver Kay tells Times readers:

Does Van Gaal really want to play the money game? OK, Louis, you asked for this. For the year ending June 2015, Manchester United’s turnover was £395.2 million. The corresponding figure for this season has been forecast to break £500 million and, if it falls slightly short, it will only be because their slice of Champions League revenue has dropped as a result of their elimination at the group stage…

By contrast, PSV Eindhoven, who took four points from them in that Champions League group, generated £45 million in revenue in 2013-14 and if their accounts have been swollen since then, it has only been through the £40 million they raised by selling their two most marketable players, Georgino Wijnaldum and Memphis Depay, to Newcastle United and Manchester United.

Which makes you wonder at United’s transfer policy. It’s not just about having more money than your opponent – thank God –  it’s about what you do with it. And right now, United are investing badly.

PS: Man United play Bournemouth today in what will be the first league meeting between the two clubs. Annual turnover (2013-14) Bournemouth £10.1m v Man United £433m. Easy, then.United will win by 40 goals to 1.

 

 

Posted: 12th, December 2015 | In: Broadsheets, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Manchester United: Van Gaal damned but stays beyond 2017

van gaal manchester united sacked

 

Who can be blamed for Manchester United crashing out of the Champions League in the group stages? It’s worth noting that this is an improvement on last season, when United failed to even qualify for European football’s biggest tournament.

The Mail says the buck starts and stops with United manager Louis Van Gaal, who is “hammered for his abysmal tactics”. Martin Samuel says United lost “because they could not not pick ip an old-fashioned big lad in the penalty area at set-pieces”.

As Van Gaal admits to his side going “backwards”, Chris Wheeler says United’s owners, the Glazer family, want to extend his contract beyond 2017.

No evidence that they do. But just saying it is enough to start that most wanted to tabloid aims: a heated debate.

Overall, though, the papers are split between leading with a dejected Van Gaal…

 

van gaal sacked

 

…or a his over-paid, under-talented side:

 

manchester united wolfsburg

 

Any United fans in need to a laugh – or at best a distraction – can look to the Mirror, where David McDonnell delivers a tortuous intro:

And so it proved Emission Impossible for Manchester United as their Champions League campaign spluttered to a halt.

Wolfsburg may have been rocked by the emissions scandal that has engulfed sponsors Volkswagen, but last night it was the Reds who were left on the hard shoulder of European football.

As you wince at that, better, perhaps, to turn to the Times, where Henry Winter is in his pomp:

Embarrassing. Manchester United deservedly departed the Champions League because they defended like amateurs, not like elite professionals. They were drawn in an easier group than Manchester City yet find themselves in the Europa League. Welcome to Thursdays. Excruciating.

And Van Gaal?

Van Gaal’s reputation was damaged here. For United’s biggest game of the season, he took two eye-catching decisions. Guillermo Varela, the 22-year-old Uruguayan who made his debut against West Ham United on Saturday, started at right back; he made a couple of good tackles, but betrayed his inexperience by getting dragged into the centre, gifting André Schürrle space outside.

More controversial was Van Gaal’s decision to field Marouane Fellaini alongside Bastian Schweinsteiger with Michael Carrick kicking his heels on the bench and having to wait until 20 minutes from time for his 70th Champions League appearance. Fellaini lost the ball twice in the opening five minutes and did little to stop Wolfsburg’s counterattacks.

Which can all be summed by two words from the Sun:  “Van Damned.”

Posted: 9th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, manchester united, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United have £144m for Neymar (and anyone else)

Transfer balls: The Daily Telegraph says Manchester Untied are ready to splurge £143,9m on Neymar.

So incredible is the story that Neymar appears to point to it, laughing:

neymar manchester united

 

The paper reports:

It would be a staggering and eye-watering deal if Manchester United could pull it off but the likelihood of Neymar joining Old Trafford remains extremely slim.

How slim is slim?

Even though the Barcelona forward insists he’s happy at the Nou Camp and doesn’t see his future anywhere else, that does not seem to stop reports surfacing that United will up the ante in an attempt to persuade the seemingly unpersuadable.

Is “reports surfacing” code for ‘reports being made-up’?

Today reports are doing the rounds that United are preparing a quite preposterous £143.9 million offer to sign the Brazilian next month.

See: Daily Telegraph.

…But for all the money United appear willing to splash out in an attempt to land Neymar, the player is not for budging. Barca, however, may be willing to sell – in order to balance the books.

The Tele doesn’t bother to link to the source of its story.

The Star says the story emerges from Old Trafford.

 

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The Star gives its source as The Metro:

 

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The Metro says the story is rooted in Spain.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale have been linked, but Fichajes says United are preparing a £143.9m move for Neymar.

Over there, we’re told nothing of that nutzoid fee being quoted across the UK Press. But we do learn that United have €200m so invest and “the Brazilian international will not hear talk of the Red Devils…. Neymar currently wants to establish itself as the absolute star of the Spanish league and follow in the footsteps of Lionel Messi as Barca”.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Manchester United go for Ancelotti (who fishes for Arsenal and Chelsea)

carlo man unitedCAROLO Ancelotti is vying with Pep Guardiola for the Manchester United job. The Sun leads with “CARLO SEES RED – I’d love to be boss of United.”

The Sun shows Ancelotti looking huge and vibrant, massive, hulking presence over Louis Van Gaal, the current Man United manager, who appears tiny, looking down and rubbing his nose.

This scoop is based on what Ancelotti told the Independent:

 

“I will continue to wait. If I don’t find a club with a good project, I can wait. What will I do? Watching games, fishing, all these things. But let us see next summer. I will not take a job in mid-season, but I would like to work again next summer.”

The Sun suggests Man United.

“Of course, for every manager, they would all think of managing Manchester United.”

Ancelotti has been on the media rounds. He’s looking for a top job, letting everyone know he’s available. Just get a load of these stories in the Daily Mail:

Ancelotti to Arsenal would be perfect. Why have the wheels not already been set in motion?!’ – Daily Mail, March 2015.

‘Liverpool make contact with Carlo Ancelotti as pressure mounts on Brendan Rodgers’ – Daily Mail, September 2015.

‘Chelsea plan for Jose Mourinho exit with Carlo Ancelotti waiting in the wings’ – Daily Mail, October 2015.

‘Carlo Ancelotti has now set his sights on his next coaching role. He wants the Bayern Munich job if Pep Guardiola decides to leave’ – Daily Mail, December 2015.

Via: MediaWatch

 

 

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Manchester United: Ferguson fears Liverpool boss Klopp and forgets himself

Sir Alex Ferguson says he’s worried at the impact Jurgen Klopp will have at Liverpool. The former Manchester United manager says of Klopp:

“I’m worried about him because the one thing United don’t want is Liverpool to get above us. He’s a fantastic personality, with those big white teeth always showing…”

And then Ferguson spoke about working with the media:

“You have to win twice on a Saturday. You have to win the game and you have to win the press conference. Some managers fail, simply because they lack experience or they’re emotional. You have to gather yourself. I used to wash my face before a press conference…. You have to give a message to your fans because they’re watching. They want to see their manager come out with a positive attitude and not a beaten man… You’ve got to handle the press. It’s a very difficult part of it.”

That would be the Alex Ferguson who for seven years refused to speak to the BBC after they dissed his son.

Posted: 7th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Manchester United transfers: Harry Kane for £50m, Neymar and Guardiola

Manchester United transfer balls time.

The Sunday Times leads with news that Louis Van Gaal will remain in charge at Old Trafford even if United crash out of the Champions’ League.

But the paper’s Jonathan Northcroft adds that the club are looking for Van Gaal’s successor – and Pep Guardiola wants the job. Northcroft says Pep is “likely” to leave Bayern Munich when his contract expires next summer, and would prefer a move to Manchester United over Manchester City.

The Guardian says United are not interested in Pep. They will “leave the way open for Manchester City to pursue the 44-year-old former Barcelona coach”.

So Van Gaal stays for a while longer. And next summer he’ll get another £200m to splurge on players, says the Sun.

The Sunday Mirror says United will opt for one of Cristiano Ronaldo, Gareth Bale and Neymar. Whether one of them will opt for United is a moot point.

The Metro (yes, we know) says United will bid £50m to lure Harry Kane from Tottenham. There he can link up with former Spurs stars Bale and Michael Carrick, causing Spurs fans and their club’s manager Mauricio Roberto Pochettino to question their clubs ambitions.

Pochettino to United, anyone?

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Cavani ‘joins’ Manchester United for £13m less than Arsenal paid

How much is PSG’s Edinson Cavani worth?

According to L’Equipe,Manchester United “have been told” they can sign the Paris St-Germain forward for £32m.

This odd story also appears in the Metro. It’s the newspaper that said Cavani had agreed to play for Arsenal.

 

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How much did Cavani join Arsenal for way back in September? The Daily Star knew:

 

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The Metro‘s story of Cavani now being worth £13m less than he was just three months ago contains not a single named source. It’s just an apparent fact that Cavani is worth £32m.

And why didn’t Arsenal sign the Uruguayan? The Daily Mirror says the Gunners decided the 28-year-old has ‘no sell-on value’. They should have consulted that anonymous source – although Cavani’s value is falling faster than the Star and Metro’s credibility.

 

Posted: 5th, December 2015 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United swoop for West Ham’s Reece Oxford

Transfer news: Manchester Untied are making a £8m bid for West ham United’s 16-year-old defender Reece Oxford.

The Times says Oxford is scheduled to sign a news contract at West Ham as early as this month, but only for two years – FA rules prevent any player under 18 from signing a longer deal.

The Times then adds that Chelsea, Man City and Liverpool are also keen on the player, but it’s Man United who are “likely” to make a move.

 

 

 

Posted: 4th, December 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Paul Pogba Wings in to Manchester United

FACT! Paul Pogba is going to play for Manchester United or Manchester City. This we know because the Juventus and France midfielder has been spotted eating in Manchester with pals.

Do these pals live in Manchester, where Pogba lived for two years while waiting to be loved by United?  Do he and his French and Italian pals salivate for Manchester food, jetting in for gastronomic delights?

As ever, the player was at the Wing’s Chinese restaurant, a place so attractive to footballers that the city’s lap-dancers and reality telly starlets have taken to smearing themselves in Peking duck.

“I love Manchester,” said the midfielder, reportedly, as he left the diner.

He loves Manchester on a drab December night. What do they out in that special sauce?

Posted: 3rd, December 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Gary Neville named next Manchester United and England boss

Gary Neville, aka Gary the Red, self-styled Robert De Niro look-alike, and the former Manchester United and England defender, has taken a management job at Valencia. The tabloids all lead with the news.

The Mirror calls him “One EL of a boss”. He will “REIGN in Spain”.

The paper’s David Kidd says the “temptation is the regard Gary Neville’s appointment at Valencia as merely an audition for the England or Manchester United job”. Well, consider that temptation accepted.

The back page of the, er, Mirror declares: “First stop Valencia then next stop..England.”

 

daily mirror neville gary

 

The Express says Gary Neville will be the next England boss:

 

daily express gary neville

 

The Mail says England could be next to Neville. And the Sun says The Valencia role is “audition for the Three Lions job”.

Now…if he can just win some matches…

 

Posted: 3rd, December 2015 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Chelsea in for Manchester United’s Thomas Muller

The Mirror says Chelsea have joined the hunt for Bayern Munich’s Thomas Muller. In “Muller In.. Mauler Out”, the paper says the German will replace Diego Costa, the Blues’ charmless striker.

According to Darren Lewis, Chelsea face a challenge from Manchester United for the superb Bayern star.

Why Muller should want to leave the German champions nicknamed FC Hollywood for life with Mourinho’s vanity project or Louis Van Gaal’s dullards is something former Germany captain Lothar Matthaus can’t work out.

“He does not need United or Xhelsea,” says Matthaus. “Barcelona perhaps could use him, but I don’t know whether he can deal with their game. He started his career at Bayern and I think he should end his career there.”

The Premier League is a bubble. The tabloids pretend it’s better than it is, talking up the money-bloated PL, linking the world’s top players to English teams more in hope than reality.

For instance, this drivel remain on the Daily Express site:

 

Muller signs MAnchester

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 1st, December 2015 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Clickbait football: Manchester United and the ‘Jamie Vardy’ reject

In Clickbait Football, the Metro has news on the Manchester United “reject” who could have been Louis Van Gaal’s Jamie Vardy.

The paper’s headline declares:

Stats: Man United reject proving he could’ve been LvG’s Vardy, he’s smashing records in Europe

Is it Lee Chadwick?

No. It’s Javier Hernandez. And the record he’s setting is:

Chicharito’s six Bundesliga goals immediately make him the highest scoring Mexican in German top division.

 

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Wow!

 

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Ronaldo in the ‘clear’ for Manchester United

Manchester United have been “ion red alert” for Cristiano Ronaldo ever since the player they bought from Lisbon said he dreamt of playing for Real Madrid and duly left the club.

Today the Metro delivers yet another Ronald-to-United story:

 

metro united ronaldo

 

Utter balls, of course. Tom Olver writes:

Manchester United transfer target Cristiano Ronaldo is ‘clear’ that he will leave Real Madrid at the end of the season…

Clear. No doubt.

Ronaldo’s countdown at Madrid began long ago and the legendary Portugal international is now considering his options away from the Bernabeu, according to Spanish news outlet El Confidencial.

Olver ends his report:

United may face stiff competition from Ligue 1 giants Paris Saint-Germain if Ronaldo does decide to move on next summer.

From being “clear” to leave, Ronaldo’s departure becomes an ‘if’.

Over on El Confidential, we read:

The fate of Cristiano Ronaldo, today, seems clear. His countdown as Real Madrid player launched himself long ago. Something privately repeated more than once, considering that the time has come to begin a new stage elsewhere.

Number of quotes from Ronaldo: nil.

 

Posted: 28th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Ronaldo shuns Manchester United and follows a stranger to PSG

Did you see that Angel Di Maria has given a “massive hint” that Cristiano Ronaldo is going to join him at PSG? What!? He’s not joining Manchester United? The Sun tells us:

Di Maria drops massive hint Ronaldo is heading to PSG

What did he say? What did he do?

Sound the transfer klaxon! Is it too much of a coincidence that hours after Rafa Benitez’s future as Real Madrid boss was confirmed Angel Di Maria dropped a not-so-subtle hint about Cristiano Ronaldo’s plans? The Portuguese winger has been heavily linked with a move to Paris to join Di Maria, and the Argentinian used his Facebook page to give Ronaldo a message.

The message came in the form a caption to a photo of the two players. It said: “Soon my friend Cristiano Ronaldo.”

That sounds a bit menacing. Di Maria’s wife, Jorgelina Cardodo, explains the note on Instagram:

“Angel does NOT use Facebook, he does NOT use Twitter.”

Sound the klaxon!

 

Posted: 26th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United balls: the mounting injury crisis gets better fast

Ahead of Manchester United’s Champion’s League tie with PSV, the Independent has news:

Champions League: Manchester United’s injury woes continue to mount for PSV visit

United fans will see that headline. Worry. And click.

They will arrive at the Indy’s website, and we told:

Champions League: Manchester United’s injury woes continue to mount for PSV visit

Yes, yes. And in small print:

There is some hope that Rooney, Martial and Mata will be fit to face PSV

A headline on mounting injury woes turns out to be news that three top players are in line for a return to the fist XI.

Wow.

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Ronaldo 99% certain to join Manchester United (and 100% certain not to)

The Independent is so independent of thought its writers contradict each other freely. Sometimes they ever contradict themselves in the space of a few minutes. Today the paper has NINE stories on Real Madrid footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.

David Ward writes:

 

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Cristiano Ronaldo to Manchester United: Alex Ferguson ‘99% sure’ forward will return to Old Trafford, says Patrice Evra

Writes David Ward:

 

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Cristiano Ronaldo to Manchester United: Real Madrid star will not leave Bernabeu, claims agent Jorge Mendes

Those November 24 scoops in full: 100% says Ronaldo stays; 99% says Ronaldo leaves.

Such are the facts in the trusty Independent.

 

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Manchester United balls: Wayne Rooney is off to play in China?

china wayne rooneyIf this were the 1970s, and we were Benny Hill, we would describe the Sun’s back page exclusive that the Chinese are wooing Wayne Rooney as looney.

As it is the Sun says “Utd fear a takeaway”.

Cue jokes about walls.

As for the story, well, it’s balls. China has lot of TV cash to invest in the sport. Rooney, being a top players, is one name the money men want to attract.

So is he going? No. The Sun adds:

There is no suggestion of an agreement being in place with Rooney but his advisors are considering all options ahead of his next move.

No news, then.

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Ronaldo to Manchester United and Benitez to Coventry

Ronaldo picking

 

Trouble at Real Madrid. One bruising defeat to Barcelona and Cristiano Ronaldo, 30, says of manager Rafael Benitez: “Either he goes, or I go.” And that means Ronaldo is off to play for Manchester United.

Well, so reports the Daily Telegraph, in an article headlined: “Rafa Benitez heads for Bernabau exit.”

Writer Oliver Brown links to the source of his scoop that Ronaldo picks Real’s manager.

We follow the link, which turns out to be a second Telegraph story.

…given the snake-eye Ronaldo was casting in Rafael Benítez’s direction, one would be foolish to rule out a parting of the ways, even if Real Madrid were far more likely to bin Rafa than sell Ronaldo. Though ‘it is understood’ Florentino Péérez would be prepared to let him leave if United paid them the £80m fee back.

This story makes not a single mention of Ronaldo’s ultimatum.

To recap: Ronaldo never said it’s either him of Benitez; Benitez is not leaving; and the Telegraph is bullshit.com.

 

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United get Gareth Bale, Ronaldo and Benitez

bale ballsIn “GALACTIGO”, the Daily Express says Manchester United are poised to sign Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale. If Real Madrid sell their players, if Manchester United have the money to sign then, if the players want to leave and play at Old Trafford, and if the planets are in alignment, United will get their men.

Bale, says the Express, is not a fans’ favourite at Real. A poll by Marca found “more than 48,000 people thought him the worst player on the pitch” when Real were tonked 4-0 by Barcelona., “closely followed by Ronaldo”.

Really?

Over at Marca, we read “Could Real Madrid have won the game?”

Answer: “Absolutely no chance.”

The paper adds:

Raphaël Varane looked like a nervous schoolboy. Toni Kroos returned to his deeper role, but nobody seemed to notice. He was rendered invisible. And Luka Modric was swept away by Iniesta, whose imposing performance was a finger in the eye for all those who assured that his best days were over early on last season.

No word on Bale and Ronaldo. But a few words on the manager are forthcoming:

Rafa Benítez’s dismissal is not a matter of if, but when. The debacle against Barcelona would seem to have made the decision a foregone conclusion.

And now for the poll facts.

Following Saturday’s disastrous result at the Bernabéu, more than 120,000 MARCA.com readers voted and assigned blame for what happened. Although everyone involved shared in the overall blame, Florentino Pérez was singled out as the person most at fault.

Florentino out!

The Real Madrid president picked up over 42% of the votes as the person most to blame for the crisis at the club following its embarrassing home defeat to Barça.

Pérez came in a long way ahead of Benítez (31.9%) and the players themselves (26%) when assigning blame for the team’s current situation.

And the players?

One of the most interesting things is that the Bernabéu faithful are most disappointed with the club’s big-name stars. Bale, Ronaldo and Benzema are amongst the players that fans blame most for the historic defeat. Them, and Danilo.

The players that fans are least disappointed with are Carvajal, Marcelo, Navas, Modric and James, in that order.

Team loses to arch rivals. Monocular fans turn on big name players, manager and president they hope will make them win, letting off steam in an online poll.

Ronaldo and Bale lead Real to champions’ League glory. All is right with the world. And in the UK, the Express says the biggest culprit are of to Old Trafford. Rafa for United it is, then…

 

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer Balls: Manchester United wave £60m at Ronaldo

ronaldo back pages

The Mail, Express and Star all lead with Manchester United’s pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo.

The Mail says the door is open to a £60m bid for the Real Madrid star. The impetus for a Ronaldo bid is being powered by Louis Van Gaal and media spin. What the United manager said was:

“We are looking at all players, not just Ronaldo. But these players are mostly ungettable. With Ronaldo, let’s wait and hope. There is no trainer in the world that doesn’t like him.”

The figure of £60m is pure speculation by the Mail, which says Ronaldo could only “probably” be transferred to one of three clubs: Chelsea, PSG and Man United.

Posted: 22nd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Manchester United balls: Schweinsteiger scores as Deeney gets erased

Manchester United beat Watford 1-2 in today;’s Premier League match. The winning goal was scored by… well, who”:

The Manchester Evening News says Man United’s German midfielder scored the winner.

 

Watford v Manchester United LIVE: Bastian Schweinsteiger scores last-minute winner in 2-1 success after Memphis and Deeney goals

 

Bastian Schweinsteiger scores last-minute winner in 2-1 success after Memphis and Deeney goals

The Independent’s live blog agrees:

 

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That’s what you get when football writers watch matches via twitter.

The winning goal was an own-goal scored by Watford’s Troy Deeney.

 

Posted: 21st, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Chelsea, Manchester United and Bayern Munich in Robben story plot

Transfer balls: Is Arjen Robben heading back to the Premier League to play for Manchester United?

Yes, says the Daily Express. He is. The paper’s headline is definitive:

Former Chelsea winger agrees January move to Manchester United

 

robben balls

 

 

Why wold Robben agree to join Man United now?

Adam Skinner writes:

United manager Louis van Gaal is keen to add some pace to his forward line and Robben is understood to be keen to leave Bayern Munich.

Well, d’uh. He’s agreed to join Manchester United. You told us that, Adam. Not sure how well that will go down with Bayern Munich fans when they watch him play for the German giants before the transfer window opens in January.

Skinner continues:

The Daily Mirror claim the former Chelsea winger is unsettled as a result of the fall-out and is relishing the chance to move back to England for a second crack at the Premier League.

What the Mirror claims is an actual done deal in the Express.

Van Gaal has already expressed his desire to make a marquee signing in the January transfer window and might continue his spending spree after completing a deal for the 31-year-old.

Might? And, Skinner, a marquee is a big tent not a human being.

Having made a statement and then denied it, Skinner adds:

Robben could form one half of a sensational double deal, with Gareth Bale also thought to be at the top of a list of targets.

Could. Thought. Might.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 19th, November 2015 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Darren Raekwon McIntosh-Buffonge gets the Manchester United bullshit.com treatment

Manchester United have agreed terms with 17-year-old Darren Raekwon McIntosh-Buffonge. A mere five years ago, Darren was let go by Arsenal. He then tried his luck at Fulham. And now he’s signed a scholarship contract at Old Trafford.

Bit deal for him. But not a big deal for Arsenal nor Man United – unless you read your news in the Metro, where the move is:

 Done deal: Man United confirm signing of brilliant ex Arsenal midfielder

Good grief.

 

 

Posted: 19th, November 2015 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United: Louis van Gaal on buying bargains and brain training

Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal has been talking with the Telegraph:

On his vocation:

Already, when I was a boy, I knew I wanted to be a trainer-coach. I lived near the Ajax training ground and I watched the training sessions. All my friends were looking to the players and I was looking to the coach. It was a big difference.

On self-awareness

I have played at the highest level in the Netherlands, until I was 32. But I was not a top player.
I know that when you analyse yourself, that you cannot be a top player. So, I knew in advance that I shall be maybe a very good trainer-coach.

On making Ajax

We didn’t have any money and we were bankrupt, so I had to look to youth. We scouted [Jari] Litmanen, a Finnish player, who we bought for £10,000. We also bought Finidi George. He was a Nigerian international. He was £3,000. I paid it by myself! And then, we bought Marc Overmars.

On his philosophy

When you see my press conferences, I’m discussing a lot my philosophy. Sometimes, the media is not very proud of it. But, sometimes, they are firmly crazy for it because I explain a lot. It takes always a little bit of time to transfer the message. I’m training in the brain – a lot of things in the brain – because football is not a sport of legs, it is a sport of brain, and tactics. So, that takes a lot of time.

On his job

I’m from a time where you [the manager] did everything. Now I’m the manager and I have a sports science department, I have a scouting department, I have a medical department, I have assistant managers, I have assistant coaches. I don’t do anything – nothing! I delegate. I delegate, and I earn a lot of money.

Read it all.

 

Posted: 18th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Manchester United staffer in nominative determinism tribunal

In “Women peep in Utd loos”, the Sun reports on Marcus King, a man who claims that whilst working at Manchester United’s training ground he was spied on by three women. “He told a a tribunal he heard sniggering outside the disabled toilet when he sat on the loo.

The three women he alleges bullied him at work are all called…Sue.

The case of reverse nominative determinism continues.

 

Posted: 18th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, Money, Reviews, Sports | Comment