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Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.

Liverpool balls: Steven Gerrard and the Rochdale paedo

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard apepars on the Daily Star cover. The story is is of a “troll’s sick post” about his daughter:

 

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What did this sicko say to warrant front-page exposure?

The Rochdale youth player posted the vile remarks under an online snap of the Liverpool captain with his youngest girl Lourdes. Reds ace Gerrard captioned the Instagram picture: “My World.”

But the young footballer then wrote: “I’d bang your girl Stevie.”

Yeah. But what did the “sick troll” say? Oh, that was it.

The comment provoked uproar from fans who branded the youth – a rising star tipped for the top – a paedophile.

This youth player is a teenager. And, you know, teenagers says stupid things. They say things that they hope will cause offence. But in these offence-seeking times teenager’s quip is a police matter:

Police were also called but said they could take no action unless Gerrard reported the incident. The troll, who we cannot name for legal reasons, removed the taunt but his club are close to showing him the exit door.

Wow! Just wow!

A source at Rochdale said: “He’s landed himself in hot water as his comments have brought the club into disrepute. A fair few people were appalled and reacted angrily by ringing the club. There were calls for him to be kicked out but that hasn’t happened yet. He may escape with a suspension and a fine but he’ll be a lucky boy if he does.”

Yeah. Lucky boy. Next time just scrawl it on the toilet wall…

As for Rochdale paedos, well, the outraged might be looking in the wrong place.

Posted: 1st, March 2015 | In: Sports | Comment


Church school busts 11-year-old for wearing a ‘Zlatan’ ponytail like a junkie

ponytail

 

A spot of nominative determinism now, readers, as we spot Joe Head, 11, whose was rusticated for wearing his hair in a short ponytail in tribute to Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibrahimović. Young Head’s school, Pope Paul Catholic Primary in Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, wrote to his parents. The letter called the hairstyle “unsuitable” and “associated with drug-taking”.

 

 

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The letter was from the headmistress, Helen Lines.

Joe’s Mum, Mandy Head tells the media:

“I became upset that she could associate drug-taking and my son in the same letter and it became offensive. I’m not aware of any rules for hair at the school. We will discuss it with them, but they didn’t have to add drug-taking into the letter.”

 

zlatan ponytail letter

 

Joe’s error seems to have been in picking which sporting hero to emulate. If you really wants to be associated with drugs, we’d suggest cool kids eschew the blameless Zlatan and aim higher, perhaps piling their mop on top of their heads and spraying it bullet hard.

 

hair

 

Posted: 1st, March 2015 | In: Sports, Strange But True | Comment


Transfer balls: Liverpool to sign James Milner from Manchester City with lower wages than Balotelli

Transfer balls: did you know that James Milner is desperate to join Liverpool. The Daily Express has an “exclusive”:

EXCLUSIVE: James Milner warned by Liverpool to drop wage demands to seal free transfer

James Milner, the Manchester City tyro – still wanted by perennial Premier League title contenders and super-rich club Manchester City – has been “warned” that he could miss out on playing for Liverpool?

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John Richardson tells his readers:

The 29-year-old midfielder sees his Etihad contract, worth around £120,000 a week, run down [sic] at the end of the season, making him a free agent.

Talks are at an advanced stage to allow Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers, whose side face Milner’s Manchester City today, to add him to his squad next season but the Anfield club have made it clear that they won’t shatter their wage structure to accommodate the former Leeds United, Newcastle and Aston Villa man.

Shatter? This is the same Liverpool who signed Mario Balotelli for £16m and pay him £125,000-a-week:

“I think we have done a really smart piece of business here,” said Reds boss Brendan Rodgers. “This transfer represents outstanding value for the club.”

We’re sure Milner’s agents are worried sick about breaking that Liverpool wage structure. If they don’t where on erath will England internatioanl James Milner find work?

Richardson adds:

If he is prepared to take a pay cut then a deal could be sealed at the end of the season.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, March 2015 | In: Liverpool, Manchester City, Sports | Comment


Manchester United injury balls: Robin Van Persie is out for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks

Football balls: whan a player is injured the media goes into overdrive. They love it. Manchester United’s Robin Van Persie has poorly ankle. But how long will be out for?

BBC:  Van Persie is out for up to two weeks.

 

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The Express says it’s at least two weeks:

 

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The Mail says RVP is out for 3 weeks:

 

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The Mirror says RVP is out for “at least a month“:

 

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The Sun says he’s out for “four games” , which is five weeks.

It’s as if the media take the most basic fact and spin it until the actual news is lost in the fog of sensation…

 

Posted: 27th, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


BBC pundit Robbie Savage is forced to seek refuge in his Bentley

Robbie Savage, the Match of the Day pundit – your tax pounds at work, readers – has escaped a driving ban.

Savage was recorded rocketing along the A1 in Knaresborough, North Yorkshire, at 99mph.

The Sun reports:

“His lawyer Philip Morris begged for him to be spared a ban, saying: ‘When you are in the public eye and have to offer opinion on people’s football teams you are regularly accosted out in public. Someone once described him as being like Marmite — you either love him or hate him.’”

Someone?

 

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Chris at Pies takes up the story:

According to The Sun’s report, Savage told the court that he is already regularly heckled in the street by football fans and that his Bentley is one of the few “safe havens” he has left in this world. Yes, the kind of “safe haven” that’s capable of barrelling along at 99mph without a care for anyone or anything outside it.

Anyway, the defence was miraculously successful and Savage escaped with a £600 fine and three points on his licence.

This is Savage who saw Luis Suarez nibble a Serb and opined:

“We were watching in disbelief. The red mist came down and to do that to a fellow professional is shocking and disgraceful. I’ve defended Luis Suarez at times but you cannot defend that. The evidence is conclusive…”

That was indefensible, according to Savage.

Maybe Suarez should have argued that the great unwashed made him do it.

Why do they stare, Robbie? Why?

Posted: 27th, February 2015 | In: Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal reduce transfer budget by £30m to get Paul Pogba

TRANSFER Balls: a lolok at utter drivel being presented as football fact in the mainstream mdia. Today we look at the Daily Express’ story of “Arsenal’s £50m spree”.

Wenger will have a £50m transfer budget this summer to address the failings in his squad… the Arsenal boss will move for Southampton midfielder Morgan Schneiderlin, another centre-back and possibly a goalkeeper.

To which Arsenal fans who read the Daily Express will says, ‘Is that all?’ Becasue not to long ago the Daily Express told Arsenal fans that the Gunners were goiung to invest £80m in Paul Pogba.

 

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Over in the Telegraph Jeremy Wilson reports:

Wenger will have a transfer budget this summer that is estimated to be around £50  million.

His first priority is in central midfield and a deal in excess of £20 million for Southampton’s Morgan Schneiderlin is a distinct possibility. Another centre-back is also on the agenda, even after the signing of Gabriel from Villarreal. With David Opsina and Wojciech Szczesny both struggling to convince, their options in goal also remains an issue.

But Wilson is right here. It’s about tactics:

The bottom line, though, is that Wenger basically does now have the squad that he wants and Arsenal’s success or otherwise will essentially come down to his selection, tactics and work on the training ground.

Such are the facts…

Posted: 27th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Liverpool and Chelsea’s Kevin De Bruyne wants to play for Arsenal and Manchester United

Transfer Balls catches news of Wolfsburg winger Kevin De Bruyne, 23. The BBC notes that the former Chelsea player “says he would be open to a Premier League return”.

One game we play is to see if the media can link a player with all five of the big clubs: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City and Manchester United.

The BBC says “with Manchester United mulling over a £30m bid for the former Chelsea player”.

The BBC delivers this as fact. Only at the end does it say the source for the scoop is the Daily Express.

Over there, the paper reports:

 

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How badly does Kevin De Bruyne want to play for Manchester United? He’s quoted:

“I feel very much at home with VfL Wolfsburg in this very moment. I am able to sign a new contract with Wolfsburg. Life in football can be fast moving. Football is much about money. Wolfsburg is not yet like Bayern Munich, of course. And my biggest ambition is to come out for a big European club. One I can win trophies with. As much trophies as possible.”

That would be Real Madrid, then. Or Bayern Munich. Or PSG. Or… Or… De Bruyne makes not  single mention of Manchester Untied, who are not even in this season’s Champions’ League and not close to winning the Premier League.

The Daily Star then spins the balls to take in Chelsea and Arsenal.

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Oh. And Manchester City:

 

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And over in the Sun, the news is that De Bruyne is a…Liverpool fan.

It’s a Full House of Balls.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 26th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Arsenal balls: fans find a cardboard Arsene Wenger table topper in their matchday programmes

In readiness for Arsenal’s Champions’ League match against Monaco, fans buying the official matchday programme got a free gift: a press out and keep Arsene Wenger figurine.

 

 

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You might call it a table topper, but that would be ironic given that the Gunners currently occupy third place in the Premier League and just got beaten 3-1 by Monaco.

 

 

Posted: 26th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Sami Khedira joins Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United and Bayern Munich

Transfer Balls: the Daily Express has news on Arsenal, Chelsea and Sami Khedira.

Arsenal and Chelsea have been joined by Schalke in the race to sign Real Madrid midfielder Sami Khedira.

So. Khedira, curently at Real Madrid, is off to either Arsenal, Chelsea or Schalke.

It’s just that the Daily Express told us that Khedira was off to Manchester United:

 

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And there was Bayen Munich, who wanted the player:

 

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And signed the player:

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But let’s see what Bild, source of the Express’ latest scoop, has to say:

Two weeks ago, in turn, the Spanish radio station Cadena Ser had reported that Khedira has already agreed to a Bundesliga. Perhaps it involves the FC Schalke …

Such are the facts…

 

Posted: 26th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Football balls: five things Manchester City didn’t learn from the Daily Telegraph

The Daily Telegraph likes ‘Five Things…”. It tops and tails most big football matches with a routine ‘Five Things We Learned About…” story. This week it’s been writing about Barcelona before and after the Catalans’ Champions’ League match with Manchester City.

Before the game, Richard Martin was being schooled at Barcelona’s game with Malaga:

 

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After telling class that “City have no reason to fear Barcelona (1.) and Daniel Alves is “sad” (2.) we learn:

3. Luis Suarez is far from the goal machine he was at Liverpool

4. Lionel Messi can be tamed with the right tactics

5. Barcelona’s midfield is not what it was

Suarez scored both goals in a comfortable 2-1 win, which would have been 3-1 had Lionel Messi not missed yet another penalty and prevented Suarez lashing in the rebound.

After the game, Mark Ogden had “Five Things…

 

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1. Kompany is not brilliant; 2. 4-4-2 didn’t work; Agüero is really good; City fans don’t sing and dance all that much when they team are being beaten; and – gawd…. he must get to five. So, here goes nothing:

5: Barcelona playing in “ridiculous” yellow was “another low”.

Talking of lows, the Telegraph used to be the best newspaper. Not any more it isn’t…

 

Posted: 25th, February 2015 | In: Manchester City, Sports | Comment


Luis Suarez balls: Manchester City players gives former Liverprool star the news finger

ITV watchced last night Champions’ League match between Barcelona and Manchester City. It spotted Luis Suarez, the wonderfully talented striker once of Liverpool and now with the Spanish side. He scored both of Barcelona’s goals in a 2-1 win, and would have had a third has Lionel Messi not gotten in the way of a rebound from his saved penalty kick.

But ITV isn’t intersted in Suarez’s sublime skills. It asks a question:

“Did Luis Suarez have a little nibble on Martin Demichelis last night?”

 

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ITV then answers its own question:

 

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ITV places ‘nibbles’ in inverted commas, suggesting that he didn’t bite the City defender at all, or maybe munched him or ate him while and raw in one gulp.

It’s really is pathetic non-news journalism to look for sensation and crimes to sell a football a match that was blessed with skill, pace and excitement.

The story oozes bullshit from every word:

Watch the former Liverpool man, now playing for Barcelona, run alongside Demichelis on the edge of the area in the video above, where he appears to move his mouth in the direction of the Argentine’s hand.

The Urguguayan was handed a four month ban from football after biting Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini during last summer’s World Cup, and has been also caught up in biting controversies during his time at Liverpool and Ajax.

Watch a zoomed in version of last night’s incident below.

No. There was no incident. Nothing happened. All we see is Suarez chase a ball and Demichelis attempt to block him by spreading his arms wide at shoulder height.

Suarez never did bite the finger and reduce Demichelis’ digits to nine in number. But Suarez does wear the number ‘9’ shirt. So. We cannot rule out the dawning of a the ‘nine’ cult in which Suarez’s opponents are left with a constant numerical reminder of his presence…

 

 

Posted: 25th, February 2015 | In: Manchester City, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Manchester United sign Robert Lewandowski for £18m more than paid three years ago

Transfer balls: where rumour meets utter nonsense. The Independent is reporting that Manchester United are to sign Bayern Munich’s Robert Lewandowski. The fee: £30m.

The Express says it Lewandowski for Manchester United. The paper says “Louis van Gaal will undoubtedly be in the market for a world class striker to partner Robin van Persie and Wayne Rooney”.

That’s odd because the London Evening Standard has told us that Van Peris will leave Old Trafford in the summer:

 

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Lewandowski shows no signs of leaving Bayern. But he has, of course, already signed for Arsenal, Manchester Unirtd, Chelsea, Liverpool etc. As we read in the Daily Star:

 

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Of course that was utter balls. Because one years earlier he joined Manchester United for £12m:

 

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Such are the facts…

 

 

Posted: 24th, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal and the £30m Jackson Martinez riddle

Transfer balls: Arsenal are the subject of some utter rot in the Daily Express.

One story is that “Arsenal star Theo Walcott SIGNS news deal with rivals”

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Can it be that Walcott has left Arsenal. Has he singed for Spurs?

No. He’s now wearing adidas boots.

The other scoop is that Porto have “agreed to sell Jackson Martinez to Arsenal for £30m”.

 

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Have they? No.

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More utter balls from the Daily Express football team every day…

Posted: 24th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United in no-news shocker

Transfer Balls: a look at utter drivel presented as football news in the mainstream media. Today the Express says Liverpool are set to sign Raheem Sterling on a new contract, Arsenal are still going to bid for Paul Pogba, Incardi is off to Chelsea and there is some stuff about Manchester United.

 

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David Wright reports:

Raheem Sterling admits he’s close to putting pen to paper on a new deal at Liverpool, worth a reported £100,000-a-week.

“Admits”?

The Express links to the Mail, which reports:

The England star, who is being monitored by Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain, is yet to commit his future to the Reds despite months of talks between the club and his representatives.

Over in the Liverpool Echo, Sterling is quoted:

“We’re working on it and hopefully it will be sorted soon.”

So. No news, then.

As for Paul Pogba to Arsenal, we’re told:

Arsenal are expected to step up their interest in Juventus midfielder Paul Pogba, who is valued at around £80m by the Serie A giants.

Expected by whom? Wright fails to say.

And Incardi? Well, that sgtpory is sourced in the Metro, which notes:

Chelsea are still in pole position to sign Mauro Icardi despite the striker holding contract talks with Inter Milan.

And now for that Manchester United news:

Manchester United are in talks with Fiorentina over a deal for former Manchester City flop Stefan Savic.

That story is soruced in the Daily Star, which reports:

Sport claims United were close to sealing a deal in January before Savic penned fresh terms with La Viola.

So, er, not close at all, then.

More no news in the Daily Express every day…

 

 

Posted: 24th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment


‘New’ footballers: Spurs sign a ‘new Paul Pogba’

Paul Pogba Watch: a look at the lazy media obsession with finding the ‘new’ versions of existing top footballers. Today we learn of the new Paul Pogba, which is very off when you consider that the real Paul Pogba – the old one – is 21 years old.

Today the Daily Mirror brigns news of Baubacar Djalo. He’s 18. He plays for Sporting Lisbon’s Under-19 side. Not good enough for the Sporting first team, Bubacar is, nonetheless, good enough for Spurs.

And he is… the “NEW PAUL POGBA”.

 

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Previously in the Mirror (Jan 6 2015), we met another New Pogba:

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Twins!

 

Posted: 23rd, February 2015 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal buy Paul Pogba for £80m in a game of tabloid tennis

Transfer Balls: a look at the ridiculous world of newspaper reporting on football transfers. Today the Daily Express has news that Arsenal are going to buy Paul Pogba for £80m.

 

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Bruce Archer writes: “Arsene Wenger is ready to launch an £80m bid for Paul Pogba.”

The story links to the Daily Mirror. We click. And we read Liam Corless, who writes:

Arsenal are ready to smash their transfer record to bring Paul Pogba back to England, according to the Express.

Eh?

It’s a perpetual circle of bullshit.com.

The Express has a scoop that Pogba is ehading to Arsenal for £80m. It says it read it in the Mirror, wherein we lean that Pogba is heading to Arsenal for £80m because they read it in the Express.

We’ve been tracking Transfer Balls for a few season now but this is the most blatant case of Bullshit Tennis we’ve enountered do far.

 

Posted: 23rd, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Chelsea and West Ham United fans in battle of who is the more racist

Meet Richard Barklie, 50, of Carrickfergus, County Antrim, who was on the Paris Metro when a black man was barred from boarding the train.

Barklie is a former Royal Ulster Constabulary and Police Service of Northern Ireland officer,. He now works as a director of World Human Rights Forum.

It’s stated mission is:

To unite the human rights activists and organizations around the globe to protect and to promote human rights, values and global well being necessary for the creation of a better world order.

He’s one of the directors:

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Belfast solicitor Kevin Winters speaks on Barklie’s behalf. He says his client did not sing racist chants. He says his client is not a racist:

“As someone who has spent years working with disadvantaged communities in Africa and India, he can point to a CV in human rights work which undermines any suggestion he is racist.”

And, well, we didn’t see him singing anything in the video. And since when is singing a crime?

The full statement runs:

“We act on behalf of Mr Barklie identified as one of the people sought by authorities investigating an incident on the Paris Metro on 16/2/15 . We contacted London Metropolitan Police today to advise that our client is happy to assist with inquiries. Pending formal engagement with police, our client is anxious to put on record his total abhorrence for racism and any activity associated with it.

”As someone who has spent years working with disadvantaged communities in Africa and India he can point to a cv in human rights work which undermines any suggestion he is racist.

”Today a senior official in the World Human Rights Forum confirmed their support for him.

”Mr Barklie is a Chelsea season ticket holder and has travelled to matches for over 20 years now without incident

”He travelled alone to the Paris St Germain match and has no knowledge whatsoever of the identities of the other people depicted in recent YouTube video releases. He wants to stress that he was not and never has been part of any group or faction of Chelsea supporters.

”He did not participate in racist chanting and singing and condemns any behaviour supporting that.

”He accepts he was involved in an incident when a person now known to him as Souleymane S was unable to enter a part of the train.

”He has an account to give to police which will explain the context and circumstances as they prevailed at that particular time.

”In the meantime pending that, he wants to put on record his sincerest apologies for the trauma and stress suffered by Mr Souleymane.

”He readily acknowledges that any judgement on the integrity of his apology will be kept in abeyance pending the outworkings of the investigation.

”Given the extremely sensitive nature of the issues engaged we urge upon all media outlets to exercise as much restraint as possible when commenting on the case.

”We accept on behalf of our client that public interest demands nothing but total indignation and condemnation from all media reporting but such reporting ought not to persist at the expense of undermining Mr Barklie’s right to a fair trial

”Tonight London Met confirmed with us that arrangements were in hand to take the investigation to the next stage.”

Or as the Sunday World put it:

 

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Was it a “secret life”? Once upon a time a secret life would have meant you working as a spy, being gay or murdering womenm in Yorkshire. Now the guilty is secret is that you watch football.

And meanwhile…on the train to Spurs with the West Ham United fans:

 

 

But what’s odd about the Daily Mail’s take on that chanting is the headline:

 

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Yeah. Not alleged anti-semites. But “alleged West Ham fans” – as if being a West Ham United fan is a crime; just like being a Chelsea supporter is a “secret life”.

It’s not so much racism the papers hate – it’s football fans

 

Posted: 23rd, February 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports, Spurs | Comment


Here is proof Jose Mourinho is right about Chelsea bias but Sky hasn’t a clue

Joe Mourinho, Chelsea’s egotistical, talented and erudite manager, feels his side are the victims of a conspiracy to defraud them of the Premier League title. He says that to compound poor decisions that go against them, Chelsea don’t get a fair press.

Sat on the Sky Sports sofas, Mourinho pointed the finger at Sky (prop. R Murdoch). He asked them why if a red card-worthy foul by Chelsea’s Diego Costa was a “crime”, a bad foul on a Chelsea player by Burnley striker Ashley Barnes was brushed over?

And as if to prove the point that the Press is unfair to Chelsea, the Sun (prop. R Murdoch) reports on Mourinho ‘s reasoned remarks thus:

 

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A “33 minute rant”. No. It wasn’t. It was bit whinny, a tad self-indulgent, a little monocular and self-serving (what of Chelsea defender Gary Cahill’s dive in the box against Hull city, or Cesc Fabregas’ handball in the box against Arsenal – both unpunished?), but it was not a rant.

And it was entertaining. It would have been much more saw had Mourinho not been sat by the face of corporate telly, Ben Shepherd, a man whose presenting skills appear to have been honed at a call centre briefing for new staff, and the witless and shouty Chris Kamara, a figure possessed by the ability to retell what viwers have just seen in the manner of an amazed puppy seeing a shoe for the first time.

We’d have preferred to see Mourinho sat before Manuel Pelligrini or another of his rivals and a Premier League referee. A good journalist to wrangle them would be an added bonus. It would look a lot like this:

 

 

 

 

Posted: 23rd, February 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United buy Vidal for £17m less than bought him for

Transfer Balls: A look at dire football reporting in the mainstream media. And as we have before many times, we spot Ben Jefferson’s work in the Daily Express. Ben says Manchester United are keen to buy Arturo Vidal:

 

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News is that Manchester Untied are to invest a “bargain” £23m in Arturo Vidal.

Jefferson adds that some reports claimed Vidal was worth more:

United were heavily linked with a move for Vidal last summer, with some reports suggesting that the Red Devils were ready to pay £40m to land the Chilean star.

Some reports? Like this one in the Daily Express:

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But because that move never did happen, Ben Jefferson told us that it would happen in January:

 

 

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Such are the facts in the Daily Express… 

Posted: 22nd, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Ronaldo will join Manchester United if Di Maria stays – but he’s leaving to make way for Gareth Bale

Transfer Balls: a look at fiction and clickbait dross presented as football fact in the mainstream press. Today the Daily Express has news that Manchester Untied are to spand £245m on Real Madrid players Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

 

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Ben Jefferson has  “all the latest news and transfer stories coming out of Old Trafford…”

What he doesn’t tell you is that new emerging from Old Trafford comes via an SEO man with a dog walking by the ground and the, er, Daily Express

Says Jefferson:

Manchester United will look to use their share of the Premier League TV rights deal to go to war with Real Madrid.

War!

United’s share of the £5bn broadcasting windfall will enable them to keep David De Gea out of the clutches of the Spanish giants. But the Red Devils could also look to plunder the Bernabeu outfit to bring Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo back to the Premier League with their new-found riches.

Bale and Roanldo to Manchester United! And Angel Di Maria is, says Jefferson, heading out of the club.

And as well as buying the world’s two most expensive footballers, United will spend loads more cash:

Kevin Strootman, Paul Pogba, Ilkay Gundogan and Koke are all expected to come under the microscope from scouts in the coming months as United look to rectify the problem.

But news is that Pogba will not be going to Manchester United. We read that in the Daily Express:

 

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And is the Express sure Ronaldo is heading to United for over £100m and that Di Maria is leaving? It’s just the Express told us he was heading there for £60m and Di Maria was the bait:

 

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But Ben Jefferson told us that Ronaldo would only return to United if the Red Devils could cough up…£300m (plus the £300,00 a week wages the Express mentioned):

 

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And as for Ilkay Gundogan, well we read that he wants to play for Barcelona. We read it in the Express:

 

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And United don’t want Strootman, says the Daily Express:

 

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And Koke is doing nowhere, says the Daily Express:

 

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So. The Daily Express says Manchester United are not buying Koke, Strootman, Pogba or Gundogan. And they are not buying Ronaldo and Bale for £245m.

Oh, and David de Gea is leaiving, say the -yep – Daily Express:

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Well, so says the Daily Express…

 

Posted: 22nd, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Paul Pogba gets a Chelsea salute, Manchester United buy an old Ronaldo and Arsenal get mentioned

TRANSFER Balls: a look at newspaper repoting on footballers. And what utter rot it is. Today the Daily Express says that Chelsea have received a “boost” in their pursuit of Paul Pogba, Manchester United’s “Ronaldo REVELATION” and Arsenal’s “Immobile blow”.

 

Manchester Untied Paul Pogba

Charles Perrin has three scoops in one day! Hold that Pulitzer Prize!

Dealing with each sensation in turn:

SCOOP! The Chelsea Pogba “boost” is that – and this is fantastic – that dangerously thick sod Nicholas Anelka “admitted he would like to see him join Chelsea”.

Is Anelka setting the transfer policy at Chelsea? Does he know Roman Ambramovich is a Jew? Has the world gone mad?

SCOOP! “Manchester United turned down the chance to re-sign Cristiano Ronaldo last month.”

Is that because United were reluctant to spend £200m or some other nutzoid sum to make Real Madrid sell the player who isn’t for sale and is happy at Champions’ League favourite Real?

Perrin writes:

“…reports in Spain suggest when Louis van Gaal was offered the chance to sign Ronaldo, he said ‘no’ to a potential deal.”

That report notes that United would have to pay a world record fee for Ronaldo, who is an ageing hero and gold mine; and the Madrilenos want to buy Spanish David de Gea.

SCOOP! “Arsenal and Liverpool have been dealt a blow in their pursuit of Ciro Immobil”

Number of words from anyone at Arsenal and Liveprool: nil.

Says Imobile:

“I feel I’m at the right level to play with Borussia Dortmund.”

Number of times Imobile mentions Arsenal or Liveprool in his interview in Italy: nil.

Apart from that it was all true…

 

Posted: 21st, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Ched Evans is heading to Wearside (maybe)

No longer front page news – the story is on the Suns Page 25, – the saga of footballer and convicted rapist Ched Evans churns on.

The paper says Evans has been ofered the chance to play for Ashbrooke Belford House FC, of The Wearside League.

Asa Dobbing, speaks for the side:

“Everybody deserves a second chance and if he wants to get back into football he can come and play for me. I have had an injury crisis with centre forwards and I’ve followed this case closely. I’ve spoken to fans and the majority are behind it.”

Asa: “Dorris. What d’yer reckon?”

Dorris: “Well, it would be nice to have XI, so…”

 

Posted: 21st, February 2015 | In: Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal sell Santi Cazorla but he’s going nowhere

Transfer Balls: a look at dire newspaper reporting on football transfers.

Today the Daily Express tells readers that Arsenal are not selling Santi Cazorla.

 

Screen shot 2015-02-20 at 21.39.05

 

Reporting on the non-sale of a player who is not for sale is news in the Daily Express.

But where could anyone have gotten the idea that Cazorla is leaving Arsenal?

Yep. The Daily Express:

 

Screen shot 2015-02-20 at 21.39.05

 

 

And they got it from the Daily Star, which has the same publisher as the… Daily Express:

 

Screen shot 2015-02-20 at 21.49.58

 

More utter balls every day…

Posted: 20th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comments (4)


Talking balls: Benedikt Howede’s goal is not to play for Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United or any English team

Transfer Balls – Anorak’s look at bilge being presented as football fact in the mainstream media. The Mirror has beeb rpeorting on Schalke and Germany defender Benedikt Howedes, 26. A target for Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea, the Mirror says his “goal” is to play in England.

The Mirror says he “admits it”, as if it were a secret or a crime:

 

Screen shot 2015-02-19 at 20.31.11

 

 

But is it his goal?

No.

He told German’s BILD:

“If I am to leave Schalke one day, I do not want to move clubs within Bundesliga. The club is too close to my heart to do so. I owe Schalke a lot, I have had a great experience during my time here. I really like being at Schalke.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 19th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Spurs’ Kyle Walker moves from Real Madrid to Manchester United

Transfer Balls: Is Spurs defender Kyle Wallker heading to Manchester United?

The Indepedent says Kyle Walker is being linked with a £20m move to Manchester United.

The Daily Mail agrees. It adds:

Tottenham would be reluctant to sell and would demand at least £20million.

Why not at least £30m? Manchester United are desperate. They’ll pay.
And if they’ll pay, others will, too. After all it was not so very long ago one newspaper was reporting that Kyle Walker was off to play for Real Madrid.
kyle walker real madrid
The paper that reported that scoop? Why, it was the Daily Mail…

 

Posted: 19th, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment