The Consumer | Anorak - Part 100

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

For Sale: Winston Churchill’s Teeth (Photos)

FOR sale: Winston Churchill’s teeth. The teeth are false. But you can wear them and chomp on a half smoked cigar discarded by Winnie in 1944. Stick on a pair of glasses with the nose, heavy eyebrows and brush moustache attached and you can be Winston Marx and confound history. Both items are on sale at the annual Gentleman’s Library Sale, at Bonhams in London.


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A pair of false teeth that were made for and belonged to Winston Churchill, pictured during a preview of the annual Gentleman's Library Sale, at Bonhams in New Bond Street, central London.

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Posted: 17th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The Shard: Photos Of Britain’s Tallest Building

THE shard is the tallest structure in Britain. It’s an odd name to give to a tower covered in glass, some might say it’s threatening. The Shard has passed the 235m mark, making it taller than One Canada Square in Canary Wharf.

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Posted: 17th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Stony Stratford Library Protest Goes Digital (Photos)

THE shelves are empty at the Stony Stratford library, near Milton Keynes. The residents have combined cards to withdraw their maximum allowance of books. They hope this will stop the council’s plans to close it as part of budget cuts.

Or else the council will say that library has no books to lend, refuse to pay the staff to man an empty library, shut the doors and never open them again.

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Posted: 16th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Domino’s Sacks Pizza Cutter For Yelling ‘I’m Rick James Bitch’

TO a Domino’s pizza shop, where an employee is on his last warning. While off his face on something, possibly substances of a “hallucinogenic” nature, he called customers “bovine and porcine“.

He was then sent to the pizza cutting section, where he wrote notes to customers on the matter of pi.

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Posted: 14th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Hotel Chain Days Appeals To Onanists? Do No Disturb Resident With Lap Top

AT the Days Hotel, the Do Not Disturb sign to be hung on the bedroom door, pictures a smiling man in a smart shirt lying on his bed looking at his laptop.

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Posted: 12th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Vogue’s Creepy Slutty Kiddie Couture Lacks Romeo Beckham

THANKS to Vogue Paris, you have no need to imagine too hard what the child will look when they turn into barely animated portraits of sex objects. The magazine has produced a photoshoot of six year old children dressed in couture. All it lacks is “me-me” Romeo Beckham in his Suit Supply ensemble to make it really rock…

See more at Stylebrity

Posted: 5th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

The Power Bracelet Is A ‘Sham’ Says Australian Consumer Body

YOU might want to hang onto that receipt for your new Power Bracelet. That rubber band with the plastic hologram might not improve your stroke, get your whites whiter nor make you last longer.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) chairman Graeme Samuel tells us:

Power Balance has admitted that there is no credible scientific basis for the claims and therefore no reasonable grounds for making representations about the benefits of the product.

“Its conduct may have contravened the misleading and deceptive conduction section of the Trade Practices Act 1974.

“When a product is heavily promoted, sold at major sporting stores and worn by celebrities, consumers tend to give a certain legitimacy to the product and the representations being made…

“Suppliers of these types of products must ensure that they are not claiming supposed benefits when there is no supportive scientific evidence.”

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Posted: 4th, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (9)

Wendy’s Training Video: The Chili Cheese Song

FOR those of you considering a career in Wendy’s, this training video will prove useful.

The music is what you hear in your head before you submerge it into the chili dip, taking care you leave your noggin 1/2 inch from the top and pre-ordering any survivors to have your remains served with cheese and minced…

No-one gets out alive…

Spotter: David Pescovitz (Boing Boing)

Posted: 1st, January 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Fast Food Burgers: Does The Advert Look Like The Real Thing?

EVER wonder if the burger in the photos looks like the burger in the inedible box? Does the Wendy’s Double Baconator look better in reality? Is that BK Stacker pre-eaten? Is the McDonald’s Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese not as smart as the box it comes in? One diner bought the burgers and compared them to the promotional images used to get your juices running:


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Posted: 30th, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)

South Africa Promises Drink Drivers Will Be Raped In Jail

IF you are caught drink driving in South Africa you will be raped in jail. If you are not raped, then you might be able to sue the makers of this TV advert for making a false claim.

Brandhouse Beverages, who made the ad, say:

“We wanted to create a campaign which didn’t simply create awareness but changed consumer behaviour so that they never drink and drive again.”

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Posted: 22nd, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Children Invited To Kill A Pig For Fun: Pig Goes Pop

HAVING met Spain’s Pipi Max and Germany’s pooing Kackel Dackel,  Jeux Sans Frontières for plastic toy pets welcomes the UK’s Pig Goes Pop:

“You feed the pig and he gets bigger and bigger until he eventually goes pop.”

If you can’t afford one, why not get a miniature pig. Get stuffing, readers…

Spotter: Karen

Posted: 21st, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Kate Middleton’s Wedding Dress Is A Fantasy

WANT to see Kate Middleton’s wedding dress, the blue one with the wimple? Alberta Ferretti, Gucci and Jason Wu actually designed a dress in a style that she may actually wear while the others just let their imaginations run wild .  Here’s a look at the designs they came up with although they will never actually design it… See them here

Posted: 20th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Dubai’s Emirates Palace Goes Green: World’s Most Expensive Tree Points The Way Ahead

THE Emirates Palace hotel embraces the spirit of Christmas with a Christmas tree decked in £11m-worth of trinkets, gold, baubles and germs. Hans Olbertz, the venue’s manager says the fake tree is worth “about 10,000 dollars.” Yes, really. This is what a fake tree goes for in Dubai. One day, of course, this is what all trees will cost.

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Posted: 16th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Wikileaks Advertises Sanitary Pads In Pakistan

WIKILEAKS is now a brand that can used to sell much more than other people‘s data.

We bring you the Wikileaks sanitary pad. Beware the slogan:

“WikiLeaks… Butterfly doesn’t.”

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Posted: 16th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Can Pipi Max See Off Kackel Dackel: The Spanish-German Toy Wars

PIPI Max is the pissing Spanish toy dog that will go toe-to-toe with Germany’s pooing Kackel Dackel. It’s like Jeux Sans Frontières for plastic toy pets:

Posted: 15th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Christmas Is Rationed And You’re All Invited To The Riot

UK television viewers have probably all seen the supermarket giant Tesco’s Christmas ad campaign featuring X Factor’s Amanda Holden joining the existing duo Fay Ripley and Mark Addy.

The latest ad shows Amanda’s power failure party disaster as Fay and Mark come to the rescue of the Yule party by inviting everyone along to their place. Christmas catering is made to look easy as the party-goers pop into a Tesco’s to restock the party on the way to Fay’s.

Life has a way of playing cruel tricks. While the ad is happily running in all its scheduled tv slots the truth is very different. The wintry condition in the North of the UK means supermarkets – and that means ALL northern supermarkets – are already rationing staples and essentials such as bread, eggs and milk. Shoppers are being restricted in the amount they can buy and are being asked to empty excess amounts at the check outs.

Panic buying can not be far off.

Glasgow City Centre gridlocked last week. Further east drivers were trapped for up 24 hours as the M8 stood at a standstill.

A return to the severe Arctic Conditions of the past three weeks is expected to return to the North of Britain in the next two days and supermarket logistics staff – who are among the best in the world in delivering on time – know it may be impossible to re-stock their stores in time for next week’s holiday rush.

This should be the bonanza time for supermarket but already the bad weather across the UK means most main on-line stores and supermarkets have halted all new orders. The word is this is temporary but severe weather is being forecast for this weekend only a week before the holiday.

The retailers huge massive backlogs of goods waiting to be delivered because the heavy snowfalls stopped distribution. Some have suspended deliveries altogether.

It’s enough to make a judge spit

Among the giants of the retailing world which have been affected by the weather are Asda, Tesco, M&S, Boots and Sainsbury’s.

The economic downturn already means lean pickings for all retailers and the harsh winter conditions are hitting hard at a hoped for multi £ billion shopping spree.

Similar delivery problems have hit the on-line shopping sites of Firebox and Amazon. Amazon is already under fire for laying-off temporary contract workers at a second’s notice during night-shifts in the bad weather chaos of last week.

It doesn’t end there. Fuel prices are rocketing and the needed domestic heating oils for the remoter rural areas of Scotland are hitting all-time record highs of over 70p a litre. A standard tank of home-burning fuel needed to heat already icy homes is costing thousands.

All this and just 16 days away the UK Chancellor will see the introduction of a two and a half per cent increase in Value Added Tax….applied to almost everything in the UK except books, children’s clothing and food.

If you think the student riots in London were bad, wait till you see what the UK Army has (allegedly) been secretly told to prepare for and deal with.
Poll Tax rioters spring to mind. Wasn’t that Tommy Sheridan one of them?

Happy New Year – AW

Posted: 15th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)

Balaclavas: Crossover Student Demo Fashion (A Gallery)

BALACLAVAS. Do you take a view? The item of clothing was once the reserve of Arctic explorers, men busting through patio doors to interrupt scenes of domestic bliss, boys whose mums worried about face chill and the Provisional IRA. Then Lewis Hamilton started to wear one beneath his helmet and they got trendy.

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Posted: 13th, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

Bernie Ecclestone Calls Time On Muggers

BERNIE Ecclestone has turned his mugging into an advert for Hublot, a reassuringly expensive brand of watches aimed at people for whom time is money, such as the £11,000 item he had stolen.

The mugging had threatened to make Ecclestone a figure of pity and fun. It was Ecclestone who in light of villains attempting to carjack Jenson Button in Brazil, opined:

“They look for victims, they look for anyone that looks like a soft touch and not too bright. The people that look a bit soft and simple, they will always have a go at.”

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Posted: 8th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

The Harrod’s Pet Spa Cox Spoof: Video And Photos

THE way we live now, takes us to The Pet Spa at Harrods, where shoe designer Patrick Cox is inflicting / treating his dog Caesar to a facial and nail treatment. Thankfully, Robert Popper is on line 2…


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Shoe designer Patrick Cox with his dog Caesar having his nails polished and a facial during a photocall to launch The Pet Spa at Harrods, in Knightsbridge, west London.

Posted: 7th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Black Friday Shoppers Trampled By Shopping Jihadis: Video

BLACK Friday shoppers are being trampled by their marauding co-shoppers at a Target store in North Buffalo Target store. It is 4am. It is the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Iran and militant Islam need not conquer the US with weapons and vitriol. They just needs to set up a discount store and vow that the first 1,000 shoppers to take up jihad will get a discount pram, an Our Generation Baby Doll Crib with Accessories AND a free Presto 12″ Electric Stainless Steel Covered Skillet.

Spotter: Mark Frauenfelder, Stylebrity

Posted: 6th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

Cash4Gold’s Letter To MC Hammer Fan Mr Haberny

MR Haberny is no friend for Cash4Gold, the site when you can turn your gold into CASH. Avoid the hassle of pawn shops and the man in the pub by sending your gold trinkets to Cash4Gold and waiting for the paper to roll in.

(Click image to read the missive.)

The site is endorsed by no less of an expert in gold than MC Hammer. Mr Haberny has some shiny stuff he wasn’t to turn into cash. Mr Haberny has been harvesting gold the world over. But he does not just want cash. He wants an “ungreased backdoor; Hammertime love making session”.

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Posted: 6th, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The Unabomber’s Home Is For Sale: $69,500 Gets You This (Photos)

WHO wants to buy “Unabomber” Ted Kaczynski’s ranch and turn it into a theme park? “OWN a piece of history”, exhorts the estate agent’s blurb. Hark back to those arcane pre-9/11 days when the US’s biggest bomb threat was homemade.

“A lot of history goes with this location.”

But what to do with it once it’s yours? Open it as a retreat to would-be survivalists who want to see if spending time alone in the wilderness turns them into a three-tie killer, creationist, jihadi, or squirrel festishist?

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Posted: 5th, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

New Computer Engineer Barbie Has No Need Of Friends Nor Pizza

AFTER lesbian Barbie, meet Computer Engineer Barbie. No, readers Geek Barbie has not cut down on her depilation nor gone long on pizzas and porn; she’s got herself a laptop, iPhone, bluetooth headset and glasses.

And it’s what you the consumer demanded. The 2009 Barbie Global Career Survey, told Mattel, Barbie’s advisors, that you wanted her to be Computer Engineer Barbie.

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Posted: 2nd, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

The Andrex Puppy Is Dead: Dead Dog Is New Wispa

THE Andrex puppy is dead. He’s been put to sleep and replaced by a CGI virtual dog.

This new dog poos and wees on the old one. This CGI dog can work a PC and bake a cake.

A spokesperson for Kimberly Clark explains:

“We really believe we’ve given him a new lease of life and have evolved his character.”

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Posted: 2nd, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (5)

Tammy Banovac Foxes The TSA: Lingerie Model Dresses For Work At Airport

THE TSA grope checks have made a star of Tammy Banovac. That’s the wheelchair bound retired surgeon passing through Oklahoma’s Will Rogers World Airport on her way to Phoenix dressed in just her bra and panties. (Yep. Willy Rogers. The perversion just gets messier.)

To add to the tableau, Banovac is wearing a dog on her lap.

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Posted: 1st, December 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (6)