The Consumer | Anorak - Part 100

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Kentucky Fried Chicken Halal: When KFC Met The EDL

WHEN Kentucky Fried Chicken trialled halal meat at a few of their Lancashire outlets (inc: Accrington, Blackburn, Colne and Burnley) the reaction was less than tasteful. There were protests. Muslim mums wept that now there was one less battier to their children eating junk food. Anti-Muslims screamed: “Keep Our Imported Fried Chicken English and Christian!” And then the English Defence League (EDL) got involved.

Anorak’s Karen has followed the story:

March 15 2010: It’s Not Muslim Chicken

In a statement the LCM (Lancashire Council of Mosques) said: “Upon researching KFC’s website, it is apparent the chickens are stunned before slaughter. This issue is of great concern to us because the halal criterion, adopted by LCM after wide consultation, does not allow stunning and this conforms to British law.”

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Posted: 22nd, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

PETA Threatens To Pour Lizard Blood Over Victoria Beckham

PETA plans to soak Victoria Beckham in lizard blood. Sticky Vicky’s bags are made from crocodile, lizard and calf leather.

We are no great fans of Posh but finding a use for chewy lizards is admirable. Take PETA, which can only think of using dead lizards as a protest. One mooted plan is for activists to pelt crocodile feet at her when she goes to an editors’ lunch in London next month.

Posh might well scoff. Tossing feet is so ordinary. Better to fashion them into a darling purse, ball boxes for David or uses the claws a hair grips of him and for her.

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Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (5)

Halloween: How To Create The Best Outfit (A Gallery)

HALLOWEEN costumes: Having brought you the most revolting costumes, we know take a look at people who came up with other great outfits. A few pointers – and we agree with Brian Moylan – do not dress as: a Chilean miner (dress as Chile’s president – far scarier); anything tarty is just tarty (if you want to be a tarty robot of witch, just forget it and go as a prostitute and be done with it); and the more homemade the costume is, the better.

And if you want to shock and alarm – take a look here.


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Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

M&S Clientele Meet The Poundland Mob In Blackburn Sale Stempede

FOR 90 minutes Marks & Spencer is flogging stuff for £1. People arrive. It’s a scramble. Manager David Wilkinson is wonderfully snotty:

It was not our normal cust-omer base and their behaviour was not what we’ve come to expect from Marks and Spencer customers.

You mean paying through the nose and then being asked to buy a fucking bag to put the stuff in?

“Staff commented that those purchasing final reduction items were a little bit more enthusiastic than normal in their appetite to get at the sale stock.”

As reader Karen says: Snobbery of the highest degree.

Posted: 16th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Estonian Clinic Uses Real Life Before And After Women: Fat Is Bad

THOSE before and after adverts just got fleshier and bonier. In Estonia, this health clinic has emplyed two women – one before and one after – to hand out leaflets.

In case you failed to realise that thin in better, the chubbier model has “BEFORE” written on her stomach. Stick the message on her chest and see which one men prefer…

Spotter: Adfreak, via Gawker

Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

McDonald’s Wedding Exists: The Burger Will Outlast The Love

McDONALD’S Hong Kong is to offer weddings. Want a wedding cake, made of apple pie, burgers or cheese slices?

The even better news is that the slice of wedding cake – the murder burger – will most likely outlast your wedding, your lives, your children’s lives, the speeches, the repeating taste of onion and cheese in your throat…


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Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The Long Life Of A McDonald’s Happy Meal In Pictures

IN an effort to answer the question ‘What happens to a McDonald’s Happy Meal if it’s not immersed in stomach juices and fizzy drink?”, New York photographer Sally Davies obtained a burger and fries and photographed it over a period of weeks. After 137 days, the meals looks almost unchanged – not wanted by man nor fungus…

Look out for a range of McDonald’s-inspired anti-ageing skin creams.

Princess Diana – Meal For One


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Posted: 13th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

The Queen Elizabeth Liner In Photos

ANORAK is not given over to puff pieces but when we got the photos of the New Queen Elizabeth liner, including Suite 7150, the most expensive aboard Cunard’s newest ship, we thought you might like to take a look. and after them you can take a look at the planes: Inside the World’s Most Opulent Planes With Michelle Obama – A Gallery


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Suite 7150, the most expensive aboard Cunard's newest ship the Queen Elizabeth as she arrives in Southampton for the first time.

Posted: 8th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The Most Terrible Adverts For Killing Children: A Gallery Of The Crazy

THE 10:10 video of children being murdered for not believing in global warming got us thinking what other adverts featuring children are just so very wrong? We searched around and now present the creepiest, weirdest, dumbest, wrongest children in adverts. Look out for the guns, the cellophane, the paedophile, the beer and the ciggies… And now with the blades!


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Posted: 7th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

Sexy Foods: A Gallery Of Foods With Saucy Names

SEXY Foods. Feel free to talk among yourselves are your browse our gallery of foodstuffs with names plucked from an adolsecent’s sticky fingered grasp. Does sex sell always? Do you want the cook to be thinking sexy thoughts as they whip up your dinner..?


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Posted: 7th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

ADT Scares Homeowners With Break In Advert: Video

IN this video, security firm ADT will scare homeowners into thinking their flat is easier to beak into than it actually is…

If you were put a photo of gypsy on the top of the box, the Daily Express could give the boxes away.

Here’s our Scare Story of The Day:

Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Domino’s Introduces Breakfast Pizza: Jamie Oliver Weeps

THE Domino’s pizza eatery in Dayton, Ohio, is targeting diners keen to eat pizza for breakfast. The first pizza of the day features eggs, bacon and cheese on a pizza crust for $7.99. The breakfast pizza is offered all day.

Good to see that Jamie Oliver’s TV show Jamie’s American Food Revolution is making inroads. You will recall that Our Jamie was shocked and saddened to see West Virginia dinner ladies serving up pizza for breakfast at school.

As he said:

“I have never seen pizza served for breakfast. It’s that kind of food that’s killing America.”

And they’re luvvin it…

Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)

100 Years Of Saucy Seaside Postcards In Pictures

THE Bamforth vintage card collection has been celebrating its 100th anniversary, at Olympia central London, this afternoon. The saucy postcards were a feature of the British Seaside for many years, are now to be made into other products under licence Worldwide, like the cushions, handbags, clothing, and, well, whatever you want a fat lady in a bathing suit and a smutty double entendre on…


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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Williams Gill’s Walking Stick: Buy The Weapon That Murdered A British Spy

WHO wants to buy William Gill’s walking stick? Gill was the multi-millionaire British explorer and spy bludgeoned to death in the Sinai desert with his… walking stick. It’s not often you get the chance to buy a murder weapon on the open market. And here is the opportunity to buy the stick wielded by Bedouin tribesmen to murder Gill in 1883 whilst he was gathering secret intelligence for the British government. The stick is valued at around £400, any blood and gore included…

The legend:

He was sent, disguised as an Arab, to cut the telegraph lines from Constantinople to Alexandria. His cover was blown…

It was Friday 11th August 1882. The five prisoners, stripped almost naked in the heat of the sun, were made to walk in front of their captors over a mile of rough ground to the Wadi Sudr ravine. Then they were forced to climb down the cliff to some flat ground on the edge of a gully. There they were stood in a row facing the gully, a Bedouin with a gun behind each. The execution was intended to be simultaneous, the bodies falling into the gully. But before the signal to fire was given, one of the Bedouins shot Professor Palmer. In the confusion, the other four prisoners made a break for it. Khalil Attik dashed desperately down the edge of the gulley but was overtaken and killed. Captain Gill, Lieutenant Charrington and Bâkhor Hassûn tried to scramble down the 60 foot cliff to the Wadi but were shot and apparently finished off by sword. William Gill seems to have got the furthest, reaching the bottom of the cliff before he was killed.

As they say in diplomacy- talk softy and carry a bloody big stick…

Posted: 27th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Has A Shoe Bomb Gone Off In Selfridges, London?

FIND out…

Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (8)

Serena Williams Gives Face To Burberry

FACE of the Day belong to Serena Williams, as she attends the Burberry Prorsum Spring/Summer London Fashion Week show, at Chelsea College of Art and Design in London. Serena Williams is single and loves to mingle…

Also there to be gazed upon by Serena: Alexa Chung, Douglas Booth, Sarah Jessica Parker and Andy Murray – what he doesn’t know about fashion you can write on the Serena’s fist…

MORE on Stylebrity

Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Three Years To Go Until Viagra Patent Expires And Tesco Starts Cutting Price

YOU can buy Viagra in Tesco for less than it costs in Boots. But you can buy a generic product still cheaper on the internet.

Tesco is to start selling Viagra over the counter at half price.

The pills were only available on prescription – or from dubious internet sources – until Boots began selling direct to customers last year, at £55 for four.

But Tesco will offer fierce competition by selling Viagra at £52 for eight of the blue tablets.

They’re all trying to cash in before the great Viagra spam-pede.

Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)

Jude Law And Sienna Miller At Fashion Week: In Photos



Posted: 18th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Beth Ditto Launches Fashion For The Bigger Shoplifter (Photos)

BETH Ditto, the Divine would-be with the Norman Bates meet Doris Karloff hair-do and the felt tip eyebrows has a range of fashion out. It’s on sale at Selfridge’s. But Ditto fans might not want to pay to get the look. As she said (via Paper Mag):

“I have a hard time not buying or stealing. If I want something, I have to have it. But not anymore. The last time was three months ago – a dress from Marshalls. I used to steal more. I mostly stole from Goodwill. You know, ‘Can’t be bothered. The line’s too long. Put it in your purse’.”

Ditto’s new range might not fit in just any pockets…

Spotter: Sylebrity

Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Probably The Sexiest TV Advert Ever

IS this the sexiests ever TV adver? The French – quelle surprise!- aevert for flavoured body rubs and cosmetics at online sex emporium Soft Paris. Is it teh sexsit ever commercail? Let;s investigate:

Soft Paris

Sexy Fruits by Soft Paris: Sexiest commercial ever.

Coco De Mer

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Posted: 16th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Guy Ritchie And Naked Jude Law Create The Worst Perfume Advert Ever

GUY Ritchie and Jude Law have set about creating the world’s worst perfume advert. This is no easy challenge.  Minding new levels of pretentious crap in a field rich is dire, self-aggrandising rot is the dream. But Richie and Law might have pulled it off.

They do it with a combination of a Sexy Beast rip off and a script ripped from the pages of a language school text book – “You know where I’ve been. I know where you’ve been. You know what I can do. I know what you can do.”

They know what you can do. We know what you can she . He/ She / It knows what you can do.

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Posted: 8th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

In Photos: Christian Dior ‘Racist’ Posters Star Kim Jong-Il (Can You find Him?)

THESE Christian Dior adverts feature a white-faced model stood before a sea of same-faced Chinese. Dior is opening a store in Shanghai and thought it a good idea to use posters featuring white women in top quality merchandise backed by identikit locals in plastic work wear. (And Kim Jong-il.)

The message seems clear: With Dior you drones can look like a Western women.

Photographer Quentin Shih’s pictures are spreading the Christian Dior dream. Some people call it racist. Says he:

“I wanted to show the power of Chinese people standing together and a kind of socialism in Chinese history (only in Chinese history not China now). The Chinese models are not people. They are symbols of Chinese history between the 1960s and 1980s.”

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Posted: 6th, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

Power Balance For Imbalanced Celebrities Like Shaquille O’Neal (But Not Larry David)

WITH Power Balance you can finally toss away your red Kabbala string and set about your wrist a device “infused with healing and restorative powers”.

Shaquille O’Neal has one on his wrist. David Beckham has four – which makes him four times as powerful as Shaq. But only Shaq has provided a testimony we can experience. And, yes, this is the same Shaq who appeared in an episode of Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm – so it took us a few reads to realise that he might not be taking the piss:

“I don’t really do a lot of testimonials, but this really works! I came across Power Balance when someone did the test on me. That night, while playing for the Phoenix Suns, there were about three of my teammates with the product on and we won that game by 57 points! I kept feeling something when I wore the bracelet, so I kept wearing it. When I took it off I went back to normal. I’ve been wearing the bracelet ever since. I want to do everything to get the slightest advantage; wristbands, necklaces, t-shirts, band-aids, everything and anything we can get our hands on. I’m here to tell you it works!”

And it can work for you for just £29.99. The inventor of the silicon band – “Surgical Grade Silicone!” – with the hologram in the middle is Josh Rodarme. (He might have been wearing one when he invented the thing.)

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Posted: 3rd, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (8)

Plane Porn: Inside First Class On The Emirates A380 To Manchester

MORE plane porn now as we show you around the first class section of an Emirates Airbus A380 on the day it landed at Manchester Airport from Dubai for the first time.

The aircraft has 500 seats. But the first-class cabins are only for the Premier League footballers’ wives and girlfriends…

Inside the World’s Most Opulent Planes With Michelle Obama – A Gallery


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A shower in the first class section of an Emirates Airbus A380 on the day it landed at Manchester Airport for the first time, Manchester.

Posted: 1st, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Ryanair ‘Punishes Musicians’ As Cheshire Teen Takes Violin On Holiday

MISS Francesca Rijks, 12, of Macclesfield, Cheshire, was told by Ryanair that she’d have to buy a seat for her violin.

On a return trip from a family holiday in Dusseldorf, Ryanair cabin crew advised her to place the violin in the hold. She declined. What with the coldness and the air pressure the instrument might be damaged. If she wanted to take it on the plane it would cost her £190.

Francesca’s father Harmen Rijks, 49, says he was told by Ryanair that it was ok to take the instrument on the plane as hand luggage.

Says he:

When we checked in, Francesca was carrying the violin on her back so they must have noticed it but they let us through. But when we got to the gates they refused to let us go. They said we could pay extra to put the violin in the hold…

“This was an absolute disgrace. Their policy appears to discriminate against violinists, the vast majority of whom simply can’t afford to purchase an additional seat.”

First they came for the violinists, an undervalued group.

Says Ryanair:

“Ryanair’s website, booking confirmation page and the e-mailed itinerary which is sent to every passenger is very clear in relation to the carriage of musical instruments and states that smaller musical items, such as a guitar, violin or viola which exceed our cabin baggage dimensions may be carried in the cabin but only if an extra seat has been purchased to accommodate the instrument…

“As all Ryanair employees are aware of our baggage policies, Ryanair is confident that at no time was this passenger advised that they could bring any piece of non-conforming carry-on luggage onto our aircraft.”

He’s right.

The girl later travelled on easyjet, with her violin onboard for no extra cost.

Ryanair are “feckers” who on recent flight from Malaga to Bournemouth offered your writer nor anyone on board no drink even though the plane had been delayed and we’d sat on the tarmac for hours. But in this case are they wrong?

David Abrahams, head of legal services at Incorporated Society of Musicians puts things in sober tones:

“These airlines are punishing musicians for being musicians.”

While you ponder the marvel of the teenaged girl who takes her school’s violin on holiday, here’s a song:

Posted: 1st, September 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment