The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
The John Galliano Princess Bride Fashion Show Paris: In Pictures
AFTER Karl Largerfeld’s public toilet nightmare show, Anorak was at the John Galliano Autumn/Winter 2010/11 collection show presented during the Men’s Fashion Week in Paris, France, on January 22, 2010. Galliano came Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride. The models did a modern twist on whipped hair, so popular in the late 1970s. Lady GaGa made copious notes:
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Posted: 24th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Live Beetle Jewels Of Texas: Border Police Stop Showy Insects From Entering US
THIS is the jewel-encrusted beetle worn by a woman travelling from Mexico to the US. Stopped at Brownsville, Texas, she declared the live insect, decorated with blue and gold. The live broach beetle was attached to her top by a gold chain and safety pin.
It was confiscated.
One wonders how the US plans to stop all beetles from entering the country. Perhaps a huge tray can be dug and filled with glue.
What is clear is that man can improve on nature with some Tip-Ex and a bag of glitter.
Video:
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Posted: 24th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Kanye West Gets Sholder Pad Teeth At Karl Lagerfeld’s Dior Show: Pictures
KANYE West and Amber Rose are still in Paris for men’s fashion week. West and his claymation accessory went to see the Dior Men’s Autumn/Winter 2010/2011 collection. They met Karl Lagerfeld, who showed us his lap-cat teeth. Is bad teeth the next big thing in fashion? If it is, the UK rules and West in wearing shouder pads in his gums.
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Posted: 23rd, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Cheese Rings And KFC Caper: A Consumer On the Ups And Downs Of Snacks
PHIL Jackson, 54, of Wanguri, Darwin, opens his bag to cheese Rings – RingS –and find one inside. Behold, the Cheese Ring.
The Northern Territory News reports Jackson thus:
“I was devastated. I put it down to the GFC – money’s tight, times are hard.”
Jackson bought his Ring from a Coles supermarket. Coles spokesman Jim Cooper responds:
“We certainly aren’t in the business of giving people a single cheese ring in the packet.”
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Posted: 22nd, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Kanye West And Amber Rose Do The Furries For Louis Vuitton Paris: Pictures
KANYE West took his teeth and his lover Amber Rose to the Louis Vuitton Men’s fashion fall winter 2010-11 collection, at Paris Men’s Fashion Week. West wore a small rabbit farm and Amber came as a polar bear fighting for its life in a tin of Touche Eclat. This is what happens when furries emerge. Andre Le Baron was also there, in leather. Enjoy the lurkers: The Kanye West Meme Gallery (Updated)
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Posted: 22nd, January 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Tom Kaulitz Works It For DSquared: Pictures
ANORAK’S new celebrity fashion blog is coming soon – and in readiness we bring you Tom Kaulitz from Tokio Hotel watching band-mate Bill Kaulitzstrut working the planks at the DSquared fashion show, Milan. Bill – such a humdrum name for such vision of diamante saliva – is flanked by stylists Dean and Dan, proud to show off their latest experiment.
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (6)
EastEnders Does Are You Are Being Served: Without Hannah Waterman’s Pussy
PUSSY for sale. Pussy for sale. Ooer-missus. To the Are You Are Being Served themed sale of clothing, shoes and bags belonging to the late Wendy Richard. All proceeds are going to the Lady Taveners charity. Acting out the role of pussy sellers are Nicholas Smith, June Brown, Ricky Groves (look how much dead weight he lost (Hannah Waterman)), Natalie Cassidy and Laila Morse. Be big in women’s underwear. (Old Mr Anorak, our patron, was not at shoot citing an urgent nursing appointment)…
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Taco Bell Founder Dies: What Killed The 10 Giants Of American Fast Food?
TACO Bell founder Glen W. Bell has died. (If you see Mr Taco, tell him to take care.) Mr Bell is the tenth fast food legend to die in recent years. Anorak’s Man in LA looks at the pattern:
“WHO is killing the great fast food giants of America?” That was the question we asked back in 2008, after an astounding eight legends of the fast food industry were taken unexpectedly, one after another, in a succession that was obvious and disturbing to all but the most vehement conspiracy deniers — and lazy, complacent, fast food-chomping journalists. So it’s almost amusing that with the announcement yesterday of the death of Taco Bell founder Glen W. Bell (who knew that there was actually a guy named “Bell” behind Taco Bell?).
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Advert: That Rightmove Advert Looks Familiar
ADVERTS are created by creative types – like this advert for property search site Rightmove. How do those nutters think it up, eh? Here’s possible clue from Big Train, Graham Linehan and Arthur Matthews’ telly show:
Posted: 18th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Emily Bronte Writes New Twilight Book: Picture
TWLIGHT only lasts three books. But wait – theres another. Emily Bronte has written a fourth. The future of literature is assured. Bella and Edward endorse:
Posted: 16th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Children Trained To Spot Jihadis And Use XRay Security Check Points: Pictures
THE Playmobil Security Check Point will train your child to become a boarder guard of the future – or work out how to dodge the system and board a flight carrying a ton of cocaine. It’s hours and hours and hours of fun – and that’s just waiting in line to pass through the machine. Says the maker:
The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight!
Upon which point she is ordered to stop and then shot. Pictures:
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
In Pictures: The 2010 International Auto Show, Detroit
THE 2010 International Auto Show, Detroit, MI, in pictures: big is better. Slap the word “hybrid” on the side if it makes you feel good. But big cars are in.
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Introducing the Ford Fusion Flex Fuel (North American car of the Year), Cadillac Escalade Hybrid, Chrysler Delta, Honda CR-Z Hybrid, the Chevrolet Aveo RS, Mazda 2 2011, BMW Concept Active E, Chrysler Delta, Fiat 500, Ford Transit Connect Van, Audi R8 V10 Convertible, Audi A3 TDI, Ford Escape, Maserati Gran Tourismo Convertible, Chevrolet Camaro, GMC Granite Concept, Chevrolet Camaro SS, Audi e-tron Electric Sport Car, VW NCC New Concept Coupe Hybrid, Toyota FT-EVII, BMW X6 Active Hybrid, Mercedes Benz ML 450 Hybrid, Buick Regal GS concept car, Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid, Toyota Sienna, BUGE by Harvey Coachworks, Mercury Milan Hybrid, Ford Taurus, Dodge Challenger, Mini Concept ‘Beachcomber’…
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Peaches Geldof Arrives In The 1980s: Rellik Opens, In Pictures
PEACHES Geldof was at the opening of Rellik, a “concept boutique” dedicated to fashions and goods from 1990 to 2000, inside Selfridges department store. Yeah, all that tat that’s been sat around in warehouses of decades has found a market. Cue Peaches, whose mum and dad were big stars in the 1980s. That’s right, Peaches has been beaten to it yet again by her parents. Another day in Peaches’ Geldof’s battle to find something in showbiz to make her own. PS – Is that a rescued Chihuahua in her bag?
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Strapya World: Save Money By Feeding It To The Dog
SAVE money by feeding coins to dogs. Strapya dogs will lap up any spare change. (Rope lead not included.) Do you trust banks with your cash? If you do, think again. You shouldn’t. Sitck your money inside a dog and be assured that it’s safe and warm. Give your money a good home:
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Sex Shop Sells Live Pussies, And Cats
TO a window display in a city. What does the shop sell? Cats? Captions and ideas as to what Ye Olde Englissh Shoppe should stock, please…
Posted: 5th, January 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Marks & Spencer Bodymax And Other Sock Drawer Porn
THE Marks & Spencer Bodymax will do for men what Spanx do for women. We give you the male corset, known in the trade as “male shapewear”.
Dave Binns, who’s big in men’s underwear, tells us:
”Men are becoming more conscious of their appearance. The fact that Men’s Health is now the biggest selling men’s magazine really highlights this trend.”
No. Free porn on the internet and embarrassment is why Men’s Health is the biggest selling men’s magazine. The day when a publisher brings out a jazz mag pre-wrapped within a copy of Aviation Monthly is the day Men’s Health, Loaded, FHM, House & Garden and all the lads mags die.
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Posted: 30th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Guinness Factory Burns to Produce A New Drink: In Pictures
A FIRE breaks out at the Guinness plant in Dublin’s Victoria Quay. It is understood the blaze broke out when building materials being used by workmen to repair a felt roof with a torch caught fire. Burning things is, of course, how Guinness was discovered. With every disaster an opportunity looms to push the Guinness myth. It’s not a fire, it’s a Papal pall of smoke to signify a new divine beer. Guinness wants you to take it seriously. It’s not just black, theme beer. If you stare at the smoke you can see thundering horses and men with washboard stomachs hewing canyons from barren earth…
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Posted: 21st, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
For Sale: Cat Toy Made From Dead Cats
PAULINE Burgess, aged 53, of Cotswold Road, Malvern, is “disgusted to discover that toy mice she bought for her pet cat were made of real cat hair.”
Those mice the cat, a feline called Mimi, was to toy with and tease and practice her torture methods on is made from cat fur. Oh, the irony.
The toy features three spring-mounted mice attached to a board. The mice are not believed to be real live mice, although the Halesowen News is unspecific.
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Posted: 19th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)
Tesco Admits That Santa Is A Ginger
HEY, kids: “Santa loves all kids. Even ginger ones.” That’s what it says on the card. That red hat… Not a hat. Those jolly red cheeks… A myth corrupted from Santa’s red beard.
Santa is naked save for a black belt and a Playboy bunny girl’s tail won as a cod piece. Santa doesn’t just love gingers – Santa is flaming ginger, red all over.
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Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Burger King’s Shower Girl Admits That It’s Breakfast Meal Is For W*ankers
BURGER King brings you “the world’s first guilt free showercam”. Thanks to Cow and Pancentric Digital, meat lovers can “watch our shower babe shake her bits to the hits at 9:30 every morning.”
Shake your bits along to the showgirl. Grab a bar of soap, and shake and shake and shake and shake.
Says the Burger King Girl (not really):
“After giong tino burger King I always feel like taking a shower.”
What hits and what bits so you shake along too? Well, you decide. Burger pickers can vote for the outfit Burger Babe will wear and the song she will sing. Will she dress up as a cow, a potato or wear the uniform of a burger King drone as she serves your morning fantasy shake?
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Posted: 12th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Christmas Is Hell: The Mince Pie Condom
ANORAK’S Man in LA brings news of Christmas gifts that linger all year round: the Mince Pie condom.
THE good news: If you’re a British ex-pat stuck in The States for Christmas, there’s a way to get the feel, and the flavor, of home this holiday season.
It’s mince pie flavored condoms.
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Posted: 10th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The British Fashion Awards: In Pictures
TO the British Fashion Awards at London’s Royal Courts of Justice, London. We watched and knitted as the accused passed us by. They came to be tried for crimes against fashion and fat. The court calls: Victoria Beckham (glum), Amber le Bon (famous mum), Claudia Schiffer (adopted German), Lauren Laverne (BBC), Amanda Wakeley (fashion enabler), Myleene Klass (ubiquitous), Holly Branson (daddy), Sarah Brown (hubby), Sam Branson (pater), Isabella Calthorp (money), Laura Bailey (Pout of the night award!), Danny Cipriani (rugger), Jameela (telly), Beverley Knight (songs), Erin O’Connor (top toff model), Pixie Geldof (dadday), James Brown (dead?), Shingai Shoniwa (Shinga the singa), Tolula Adeyemi (chant), Nadja Swarovski (fake rocks), Kate Moss and Vivienne Westwood (peas in a pod). How do you plead?
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Posted: 10th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Margaret Thatcher NUT Cracker, In Pictures
THIS Christmas why not get the Margaret Thatcher nut cracker. Or is that NUT cracker? The National Union of Teachers are a Bolshie bunch who not content with joining institutions to institutionalise the young, join a union to immerse themselves deep within institutions. Walnuts, almonds, Brazils, filberts, chestnuts and if you’re a true Tory hankering for the golden era of Maggie and all that iron might, there are pine nuts…
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Posted: 9th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
In Pictures: Marks And Spencer Unveils Tiger Woods Underwear Range
ANOTHER day and with it another chance to be accosted by scantily clad women in the West End, this time lingerie model Natalie Suliman on London’s Oxford Street promoting M&S Stocking Fillies and Fellas. This turns out to be Marks and Spencer staff who will help shoppers to choose the right lingerie for a Christmas gift. Do women buy men lingerie other then to ensure that what their man wears is clean and not frayed? Do men buy lingerie that fits and isn’t made of man-made fibres? Let’s investigate, in pictures:
Posted: 8th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Complaint Over New Kangaroo And Emu Flavour Crisps
THE new Smith’s crisps taste is kangaroo and emu flavour, the BBQ Coat of Arms. Can the two flavours blend? Before you investigate, know that the bag has offended someone.
As the plaintiff says, the bag of crisps ”depicts the national coat of arms in a manner which could be termed as ‘degrading’ for native wildlife and offends on social values.
”It implies that it is perfectly OK to kill kangaroos and emus, just for fun!”
That’s the national coat of arms of Australia – one of the few countries to feature pet food on its official badge.
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Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
