Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 34

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Hear How Ice T Read The’Deep Nerd’ Dungeons & Dragons Audiobook

Parental advice: This is not how to hold a sword

Parental advice: This is not how to hold a sword

 

HOW do you follow Cop Killer and date night with the well upholstered Coco Austin? If you’re Ice-T you create an audiobook for Dungeons & Dragons.

In Ice T’s Final Level Podcast, the rapper tell how unprepared he was got the job.

“They didn’t tell me this was a motherfu**in’ Dungeons & Dragons book… [it’s] some of the most crazy, deep, deep nerd shit.Motherfu**ers talk like Yoda. They were talking about ‘pegasuses’ and ‘pegasi.’ That’s horses with wings. This motherfu**er got a sword that talks to him… Motherfuckers live in places that don’t exist, and it comes with a map. My God.”

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Posted: 6th, February 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment


Vintage Sexism: BALLS – ‘Candy To Give You Courage’

VINTAGE sexist advert presents Balls.

Who says women don’t have balls?

Women do?

INTRODUCING BALLS – the candy to give you courage

Women do!

 

balls

 

In 1978, women has BALLS by the barrel load.

There was a time when it took a heavy dose of spunk for a woman stand up and be counter. Joan of Arc hid her gams in a suit of armour to defend Louis’s honour. Amelia Earhart donned a sexless jumpsuit to fly into the wild blue yonder. Madame Curie wore whites and gazed longingly at test-tubes.

These days, women have finally come into their own – with pants and permanents, muscles and makeup. But there still are a couple of things we can’t lay claim to right?

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Posted: 5th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


Swansea Woman Shatters World Cardigan Wearing Record

LOCAL News: Swansea’s Pam Hopkins is “still wearing the same cardigan after 54 years – and she says it’s never lost a button”.

 

Screen shot 2014-02-04 at 22.03.01

 

She beats the previous records:

Screen shot 2014-02-04 at 22.11.10

 

 

Pam Hopkins is still wearing the same cardigan after 54 years - and she says it's never lost a button  Read more: http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Cardigan-worn-54-years/story-20550604-detail/story.html#ixzz2sOSO8Y11

 

Spotter: @TheMediaTweets

Posted: 4th, February 2014 | In: Fashion, Strange But True | Comment


Sex Sells Tobacco: 10 “Smoking Hot” Vintage Adverts

THE STORY of tobacco in advertising is a long and winding tale.  At some points it has targeted children, at others it has tried to sound like a health food.  The specter of cancer has loomed over the product for decades, and advertisers have done their best to divert your attention from the elephant in the room.  Tobacco advertising has been overtly sexist and overtly pro-woman (i.e. Virginia Slims); it will be anything you want it to be in order to gain your love and trust.

Indeed, we could  talk all day about the dubious practice of selling carcinogens, but let’s focus on the one tactic that tobacco peddlers have relied on most.  Here are ten fantastically sexy and sexist vintage ads for your viewing pleasure.

 

tobacco ad (26)

 

Can you believe they actually tried to make the second-hand smoke smell good?  This one advertises cherry and blueberry flavor.  I suppose it sounded like a good idea on paper.  After all, why must smoke always smell like the Grim Reaper farted? Why can’t second-hand smoke not only cause cancer, but smell great too? Well, you’ve got to hand it to Tipalet for giving it the college try, even if it did end with abysmal failure.  Fruity smokes may not have worked out, but at least it spawned this infamous advert ….

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Posted: 4th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)


Who Is The Cleethorpes And Grimsby Kebab Bandit?

PA-6778420

TO Grimsby and Cleethorpes in north east Lincolnshire, where the hunt is on for the Pizza Bandit, who lurks in takeaways listening to phone orders before delivering empty boxes and pocketing the cash.

Hollie Belton, 27, of Grimsby, had ordered tow large chicken kebabs from Verona’s Pizzeria in Cleethorpes. A man arrived at her door. she paid him the £12. He then drove off in a yellow T-reg Ford Ka. She opened the box to find it empty. 

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Posted: 3rd, February 2014 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Stop The Sick Trade In Live Animals Sold As Lucky Charms In China

animals-keychain

 

FANCY hanging a live animal from your throat? AVAAZ.org  are campaigning to end the revolting trend of sticking live animals in jewellery. They want the United Nations to:

We call on the UN to demand the Chinese government to ban the manufacture and sale of amulets and jewelry containing live animals.

Would the Chinese listen to the UN when they and anyone who buys these keychains can’t see for themselves that it’s sick?

New fashion jewelry in China, animals living under plastic containing a liquid nutrient and oxygen that allows them to live up to 2 months.

This is cruel and should be condemned by the international community.

creatures

caged

 

The animals – mostly turtles and other sea creatures – are, as Change.org’s petition states:

…Brazilian turtles or king fish swimming in colored water are considered good-luck charms by many Chinese…According to vendors, the colored water in the 7-centimeter-long keychains contains nutrients that allow fish and turtles to live inside for months. While that may be true, Mary Peng, cofounder of the International Center for Veterinary Services, says they couldn’t survive in the sealed bag for very long, due to lack of oxygen.

 

living-keychain

 

These creatures are better off dead.

 

keychain-souvenir

 

Posted: 3rd, February 2014 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Eiffel Tower Nose Jobs Help Chinese Score Jobs In Paris

eiffel nose

 

“WE are influenced by the beauty of Eiffel Tower, we are not content to just add something to the nose, we reconstruct it,” says surgeon Wang Xuming.

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Posted: 3rd, February 2014 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


These 3D Printed Nail Sets Are Fantastically Cool

3D Printed Nail art

 

NEW York City-based designers Sarah C. Awad and Dhemerae Ford of the Laser Girls are using technology for the awesome by kicking out 3D printed nail art.

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Posted: 30th, January 2014 | In: Fashion, Technology | Comment


The Radically Invasive Projectile (RIP): The Last Round You’ll Ever Need

Screen shot 2014-01-29 at 10.29.36

 

CUE the husky voice. Cue the thumping backtrack. Cue the man in combat fatigues shooting at melons. This is an advert for the Radically Invasive Projectile – The Last Round You’ll Ever Need. It is the RIP Cartridge.

The RIP bullet is not only handy pun that gives death’s tribute a twist or gut-mangling gorn, but it is “effective against”:

PLYWOOD

AUTOGLASS

 

Freeze muvverfukkers

Freeze muvverfukkers

 

SHEETROCK

CINDERBLOCK

SHEETMETAL

And…

MULTIPLE DENIM LAYERS

 

They never stood a chance

They never stood a chance

 

Comes with free thesaurus:

 

Posted: 29th, January 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)


Tech Rewind: Before Phones Got Smart

TECHNOLOGY has been rocketing along so quickly, it’s difficult to put on the breaks, stop for a moment and get a perspective.  Sometimes you just need to dig your heels in and take a look backward.  As the current rushes you madly onward, it may do you good to just pause and see how far we’ve come in such a short amount of time.

Taking a look at progress in technology as whole is much too broad; our heads will likely explode if we try and take it all in.  Instead, let’s just look at your phone – that thin little rectangle you have in your pocket or are looking at right now…

s7ZeT

 

It can do more than Hubot could ever dream of.  And while it is unlikely Hubot was capable of dreaming, it could play AM/FM radio, check the temperature, tell the time, and play Atari 2600 games.  Hubot came with a price tag of $3495 in 1981 – adjusted for inflation that comes to $8957 (£5432).  For that kind of price, Hubot better be able to do dishes, kill intruders, and stimulate pleasure centers on command.

Alas, it did not.  But let’s look at a single function on your mobile device that you likely take for granted: voice messages.

 

105_phone butler

 

To read this advert, it sounds as though your very life is going to change thanks to an answering machine.  Indeed, the Phone Butler will rid you of your cumbersome existence, and introduce you to the jet-setting world of recorded phone messages.

Now you can spend your vacations and nights out on the town with complete ease, knowing that all your calls and messages are being handled efficiently, and are waiting at home for you!…. Don’t worry about missing calls while you’re out doing yard work, in the shower, shopping, sunbathing, or socializing with the neighbors, you’ll never have to make a run for the phone again!

It’s hard to imagine that something as commonplace as voice messaging was sold as an answer to prayers just a few decades back.  That would be like saying having no phone cord was a miracle of science – hey, what a sec…

 

102_phone 300 feet from home

 

“You see, with our cordless phone you’re not tied down by the cord – because there is no cord!”

No longer was mankind tethered; he was free to roam from patio to garage to toilet with splendid freedom.  Advertisements announced this latest break with great fanfare.  Of course, no longer being “tethered” meant you were also never out of reach.  So, in a twist of fate, going cordless resulted in less freedom.  Who knew?

 

P00139

 

In the ‘80s, you knew you “made it” if you could conduct business from your tub… preferably while sporting a self-important smirk.  Once again, the advertisers are driving the point home that your tech devices no longer require terminals – they are wherever you are.  Our younger generations will never know the type of world where you have designated phone and computer locations – things haven’t just become portable, they are damn near bodily appendages.

 

006_1972

 

Another thing future generations will never know is the telephone queue.  The very thought of actually having to wait your turn to use a phone is madness.  But there’s a flipside to this:  If you knew you had to spend a painful amount of time waiting in line every time you had to make a call, wouldn’t you use the phone less?  And if so, might you be doing something more enriching or enjoyable with the time?

That’s crazy talk.  Let’s move on.

 

ycq41

 

One thing that we’ve all collectively dreamed about in our science fiction is the “video phone”.  Every futuristic depiction worth its salt had one.  Of course, now Skype, Face Time and the like are just boring parts of life – no more shocking than your washing machine or toaster oven.  Who would have thought that a technology so anticipated would so quickly be taken for granted?

 

039_Hello. I'd like to rent a fork lift to move my PC to another room.

 

Well, we could stand in amazement at the many examples of brilliant communications technologies which have become mundane overnight.  However, the current is quickly pulling us onward.  No time to linger in quiet appreciation; in the time it took you to read this article, at least three of your tech devices have gone obsolete.

Posted: 28th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Technology, The Consumer | Comment


How To Behave In 1920s New York: An Illustrated Guide

VISITORS to 1920s NYC  could study the Valentine’s City of New York: A Guide Book. As any reader of P.G. Wodehouse’s Psmith, Journalist will now full well, New York was a dangerous place back then, overrun by gangs, slum landlords and shysters.

 

Screen shot 2014-01-27 at 16.34.35

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Posted: 27th, January 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment


There Used To Be A Chelsea Drugstore On The King’s Road

A drugstore in King's Road, Chelsea, London, which has a cocktail bar and a boutique. PA/PA Archive/Press Association Images

A drugstore in King’s Road, Chelsea, London, which has a cocktail bar and a boutique. PA/PA Archive/Press Association Images

 

THESE days the King’s Road looks not unlike many other high-streets across the country, albeit a bit posher. If you stroll down the road you’ll see, just like anywhere else, Boots, WH Smiths and the ubiquitous coffee-shop chains. In fact, always a trend-setter, the King’s Road was where Starbucks chose to open its first ever UK coffee-shop just fifteen or so years ago in 1998. Of course it has a McDonald’s like anywhere else but the King’s Road McDonalds is a bit different to most – it used to be the Chelsea Drugstore.

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Posted: 27th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Faces of The Day: German Sculptor Kathe Kollwitz’s Grieving Parents Of WOrld War One

FACES of the day: Visitors view a photo of the ‘Grieving Parents’ statue during an exhibit, World War One, 1914-1918, at the In Flanders Fields Museum in Ypres, Belgium on Friday, Jan. 24, 2014. The statue of the Grieving Parents, by noted German sculptor Kathe Kollwitz, is a tribute to her youngest son, Peter, who was killed in October 1914 and is buried in the Vladslo German Cemetery in Belgium.

The eyes on the father-figure, left, gaze onto the ninth stone before him, on which his son’s name is written.

 

PA-18787724 (2)

 

The statues of she and her husband Karl:

grieving parents

 

 

The artist’s own burial plot in Berlin-Friedrichsfelde is beautiful:

Kollwitz-tomb

 

 

More at the Käthe-Kollwitz-Museum Berlin and there’s a fine collection of her work here.

Posted: 26th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


The Cupid Bra Only Unhooks When True Love Is Detected

love bra

 

WHEN do you know if it’s true love? Japanese lingerie manufacturer Ravijou has taken the guesswork out of foreplay by inventing a bra clasp that only unhooks when “true love” is detected. If that significant other is only after a quick fumble or your valuables, the clasp stays closed.

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Posted: 25th, January 2014 | In: Fashion, Technology | Comment


Canada Bans Mr Badger’s Penguins: Let’s Club Them To Death

brit foods canada

 

CANADA has closed it borders to Marmite, Irn Bru, Bovril and Penguin bars.

A Mr – get this – Tony Badger,  owner of a British foods shop in Saskatoon, central Canada, says his goods have been impounded. He told CKOM news: ““My understanding was we were importing legally. We’ve been declaring it through a customs broker and we’ve never had an issue until now.”

Here’s a look around the shop, with authentic 1950s intermission music in keeping with the general theme of Canada being 60 years behind the UK:

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Posted: 24th, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Kobe Bryant’s Bid To Become Basketball’s Bobby Charlton

FANTASTIC haircut news: the bill to cut Kobe Bryan’s hair for a Nike shoot ran to $860.

This is Kobe Bryant:

PA-18698232

 

No. That’s him on the right.

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Posted: 24th, January 2014 | In: Fashion, Sports | Comment


Bugs Money: Thom Browne’s Fall-Winter Collection 2014-2015

MEN’S fashion is a great sauce of chuckling. Get a load of American fashion designer Thom Browne’s men’s Fall-Winter 2014-2015 fashion collection, presented Sunday, Jan. 19, 2014 in Paris.

He should have called the collection Bug Money or Mugs Money:

PA-18735901 PA-18735902 PA-18736031 PA-18735980 PA-18736167 PA-18736595 PA-18736811 PA-18736895 PA-18736912 (1)

Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Fashion | Comment


Crime Fighting with Twinkies: Comic Book Superheroes Turn To Sugary Cream-Filled Cake

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MANY of you will remember the Hostess snack adverts that appeared in comic books throughout the 70s.  They all had the same basic story: a villain is subverted from his diabolical plan by a well-known superhero… and the help of a sugary cream-filled cake.

This may be genius marketing (after all, comic books and junk food go well together), but it’s also a bit troubling because it calls a few things into question:

  1. Exactly how special are our superheroes (Batman, Spider-Man, etc.) when all it takes to vanquish an arch-enemy is a box of Twinkies?  Subsequently, doesn’t this call into question the severity of the threats in the first place? I mean, if Lex Luthor can be stopped by a package of sugary sweets, what does this say about his evil villain status?
  2. What ingredients are in these treats?  These superheroes and villains possess incredible powers, yet it’s the snack cake that wins every time.

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Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Norway’s Curling Team Are Early Leaders In Olympics Fashion Stakes With Their ‘Life-Changing’ Trousers

NORWAY’S Olympic curling team is in fine fettle for the upcoming games in Sochi.

Member of Norway's Men's Olympic Curling Team from left Thomas Ulsrud, Torgor Nergard, Christoffer Svae, and Havard Vad Petersson wear their new Sochi 2014 suits as they pose for a photographer in New York Tuesday Jan. 21, 2014. (AP Photo)

Member of Norway’s Men’s Olympic Curling Team from left Thomas Ulsrud, Torgor Nergard, Christoffer Svae, and Havard Vad Petersson wear their new Sochi 2014 suits as they pose for a photographer in New York Tuesday Jan. 21, 2014. (AP Photo)

 

The Norwegians have form:

 

Norway's Martin Sesaker, left, and his teammate Stine Haalien work on the stone while playing against Estonia during a mixed team curling event at the first winter Youth Olympic Games in Innsbruck, Austria, Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2012. (AP Photo/Kerstin Joensson)

Norway’s Martin Sesaker, left, and his teammate Stine Haalien work on the stone while playing against Estonia during a mixed team curling event at the first winter Youth Olympic Games in Innsbruck, Austria, Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2012. (AP Photo/Kerstin Joensson)

 

The designer is Christoffer Svae, who tells the AP that he asked a company called Loudmouth to jazz up the team’s kit:

“It’s definitely been life-changing for us,” Svae told the AP. “Not so much in the everyday but when we travel around the world for curling, it doesn’t always matter if we do well or not, people still think that we win stuff because we are always in the media.”

“I don’t think you’ll see a lot of the other teams do the same that we did,” Svae added, “they feel it’s our thing.”

If you look closely at the new kit, you can see a boy in tricycle riding up the zigzags.

 

Norway's skip Torger Nergard throws his rock as first Havard Vad Petersson, left, and second Christoffer Svae sweep during a match against Sweden, at the Curling World Championships, in Cortina D'Ampezzo, Italy, Sunday, April 4, 2010. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

Norway’s skip Torger Nergard throws his rock as first Havard Vad Petersson, left, and second Christoffer Svae sweep during a match against Sweden, at the Curling World Championships, in Cortina D’Ampezzo, Italy, Sunday, April 4, 2010. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

This photo made March 21, 2010, shows Norway's skip Linn Githmark, center, during an evening draw against Canada in Swift Current, Sask. There was a large package waiting for Norway when the team arrived in Swift Current, Sask., for the women's world curling championship. Out of the box came even louder versions of the loud pants their male counterparts popularized at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver last month.(AP Photo/The Canadian Press/HO, Michael Burns)

This photo made March 21, 2010, shows Norway’s skip Linn Githmark, center, during an evening draw against Canada in Swift Current, Sask. There was a large package waiting for Norway when the team arrived in Swift Current, Sask., for the women’s world curling championship. Out of the box came even louder versions of the loud pants their male counterparts popularized at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver last month.(AP Photo/The Canadian Press/HO, Michael Burns)

Norway's skip Torger Nergard releases a stone on his way to win a semifinal match against Scotland, at the Curling World Championships, in Cortina D'Ampezzo, Italy, Saturday, April 10, 2010. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

Norway’s skip Torger Nergard releases a stone on his way to win a semifinal match against Scotland, at the Curling World Championships, in Cortina D’Ampezzo, Italy, Saturday, April 10, 2010. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

Norway's Christoffer Svae, left, and Torger Nergaard, sweep a stone delivered by Haavard Vad Petersson, top, in a win over China in men's curling at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia, Friday, Feb. 19, 2010. (AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty)

Norway’s Christoffer Svae, left, and Torger Nergaard, sweep a stone delivered by Haavard Vad Petersson, top, in a win over China in men’s curling at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia, Friday, Feb. 19, 2010. (AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty)

 

Posted: 22nd, January 2014 | In: Fashion, Sports | Comment