Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 45

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Tyne And Wear Metro Reminds Passengers Not To Get Decapitated On The Train

Brain on train

TYNE and Wear Metro have created a new safety video. Called “Don’t be insane, use your brain“, the video comes with a song and cartoon passengers being killed by decapitation and electricity.

Train operator DB Regio wants passengers to stop propping the doors open to let late arrivals onboard. They say it’s “madness”. Since April, 80 trains have been delayed this way. No-one has died. To correct thing to do is to let the doors close and then wave at the wet, tired and emotional passenger left standing on the platform.

Sharon Kelly, director of operations and customer services at DB Regio Tyne and Wear, says:

“We introduced platform announcements and put posters up on train doors to remind passengers that they shouldn’t obstruct the doors. But it doesn’t seem to have worked, because people are still doing it. It’s madness really. You wouldn’t stick your hand in the door of a bus that was about to leave a bus stop, would you? But that’s just what people are doing on the Metro.”

We hear you, Sharon. The only thing for it is to equip the doors with whirling blades or, better yet, a jihadi in every carriage ready to wield an axe lest the infidels tamper with the doors.  Also, we’d like them to pilot a scheme whereby backpackers, anyone eating a kebab or shouting “Come on you lot, cheer up” is shot in the face.

YouTube link.

Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Samsung Is Making Augmented Reality Glasses For Sport. What Sports?

SAMSUNG wants to put its computers on your face. And has just landed a patent for a new device that will do just that.

Google has staked out the space of face computers and though little demonstrable desire has been expressed for the devices – its Google Glass has been the poster child for the technology.

The idea is you walk around with a pair of glasses with a built-in computer that sits on top of one of your ears. The lenses are transparent screens through which you see the world, but also any stuff that Google wants to push on there, weightloss adverts, vouchers, that kind of thing. You know what Google likes to tell you about.

Samsung's new sports glasses, from the Korean patent

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Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment


Eating In Silence At Brooklyn’s Place For Food Monks

Peg on NoseDINERS at Nicholas Nauman’s Eat in Brooklyn, New York, can book to eat on a night when everyone eats in total silence. Should a glass break, no-one will cheer. The bill is presented in total silence. The waitress will not ask “Did you enjoy your meal?” You will not speak to your friends, but communicate by raising eyebrows, grinning, frowning or rolling your eyes at the couple by the door who look like they’re having a silent row.

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Posted: 24th, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Pokemon Health And Safety Warning: Pet Fighting Is Illegal

POKEMON magazine has issued a health and safety warning:

pokemon warning

 

Spotter

Posted: 23rd, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Great Bench Tributes: She ‘Liked To Sit Down’

PLAQUES on wooden benches are routinely miserable. They make you think of death and loss. Some, however, can make you smile:
BEnch of teh day

 

Spotter

 

Posted: 23rd, October 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Coreyography: Corey Feldman On Growing Up One Step Down From Slavery

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IN Coreyography, former child star Corey Feldman tells of his life. Parts of it sound awful. Although, as he said:

“I had a terrible childhood. I can only compare it to someone born in Ethiopia, or Iraq, or who is born into slavery, or gang life. Well I haven’t lived through that, but the next step down.”

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Posted: 23rd, October 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment


Look What They Did To Frances Quinn Winner Of The Great British Bake Off

british bake off

FRANCES Quinn wins The Great British Bake Off. The underdog kept her victory over Ruby Tandoh, 21, and psychologist Kimberley Wilson, 30, quiet for three months.

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Posted: 22nd, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore: A Film About Clubbing In The 70s, 80s And 1990s

Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore

IN Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore, British artist Mark Leckey produced what one critic called “the finest portrayal of British nightlife ever captured”.

Jonathan Jones added that “(Leckey) haunts the secret parts of modern culture, where memory and emotion linger”.

What he did was to capture the feeling of dancing in a night club in the 70s, 80s and 90s.

Says Leckey of his 1999 film:

“It took two years to create, but it was made of 30 years of repressed desire.”

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Posted: 22nd, October 2013 | In: Flashback, Music, The Consumer | Comment


Shreddies: The Men Knickers That Filter Your Bottom Burps

Support_boxer_front-500x323

LEICESTERSHIRE’S Shreddies Ltd. brings us knickers and pants that filter your farts.

The thin and flexible cloth, which contains Zorflex® — the same activated carbon material used in chemical warfare suits — is reactivated simply by washing the pants. Shreddies say through extensive testing the carbon cloth could filter odors 200 times the strength of the average flatus emission.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


Cupcakes Are Exploiting Young Women

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MATT Seaton wants to talk about a serious issue in the Guardian: cupcakes.

You know what cupcakes really are? – butter-iced snares of self-loathing that sell precisely because they exploit young women’s insecurity about their looks and identity, and offer a completely false and self-defeating solace of temporary gratification, almost certainly followed by remorse and disgust.

They’re just cakes, you say. Ah, but they’re not just cakes: like any cultural artefact, they have implicit values baked in. And the values I see in cupcakes are of a demeaning, self-trivialising sort of hyper-femininity. This is where I start to sound like the worst kind of moralising Puritan killjoy, but it’s just really hard for me to believe that serious, self-respecting adult women would be at all susceptible to this gooey, sickly-sweet embodiment of female wish-fulfilment.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


National Baking Week: Who Fancies A Unicorn Filled With Rainbow Sponge?

unicorn cake

AS you know, it’s National Baking Week.  Miss Cakehead and a team of other food artists set the scene with a huge unicorn cake.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Marketing Balls: Nike Launch Ronaldo’s New Real Madrid Boot In A Supernova Of Guff

ronaldo

WANT to buy Cristiano Ronaldo’s new Nike Mercurial IX CR7 boot, complete with ‘supernova’ skin print (in homage to Ronaldo’s “out of this world” performances since joining Real Madrid)?

In case you are still undecided as ty the merits of walking in Ronaldo’s shoes, the official Nike blurb, courtesy of design director Denis Dekovic, should seduce you

“The concept of a star that burns brighter than others reflects Cristiano’s style, speed and the idea that as a player he plays without limits, much like the outer reaches of the galaxy. What Cristiano is able to achieve on the field is something that we felt was limitless. So we took that direction and focused on creating a highly luxurious finish fused with modern print and colour choices.”

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Fashion, Sports | Comment


Who Donated This Big Bag Of Marijuana To a Seattle Thrift Store?

weed thrift store

WHO donated a big bag of marijuana (2.5lbs) to a Seattle thrift store?

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


David Boon Where Are You? Australian Driver Drank 90 Full Strength Cans Of Melbourne Bitter

boob david beer

TREVOR Alexander Warren, 51, of Dundee Beach in the Northern Territory, Australia, told Bathurst Local Court he’d consumed “between 80 and 90 full strength cans of Melbourne Bitter beer before driving. He had eaten nothing.

When police pulled over Warren’s Holden utility, they noticed the smell of alcohol coming from the car.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Sports, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Courtney Stodden Stars On FashionMINGA.Com Red Carpet

WE are indebted to D-listed for pointing us towards  LA’s FashionMinga.com.

WHAT IS FASHION MINGA?

Is it a fashion site for mingas?

Fashion Minga is a collaboration of designers, performers, and tastemakers coming together to celebrate the various components that inspire fashion: music, dance, color, shape and visual elements.

But Minga..

“Minga” is an Ecuadorian term for “a community coming together to work for the benefit of all”. 

So. It isn’t just a British term for, as the Urban Dictionary defines:

a male or female who fell out of the ugly tree at birth and hit every branch on the way down
God that girl/boy is so minging she really needs to work on her personality

 

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Posted: 20th, October 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment


Great Car Ads: 1997 Jeep Cherokee For Anyone With BALLS OF STEEL

1997 Jeep Cherokee - $1750 (Enid, OK )

GREAT Car Ads presents the 1997 Jeep Cherokee – $1750 (Enid, OK )1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ):

220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

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Posted: 20th, October 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment