The Consumer | Anorak - Part 45

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

DIY Instructions Of The Day: Steps 1 To 3

DIY: Flat-packed hell:


Posted: 28th, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Ann Summers Fights Off Rampant Rabbi Marital Aide

rampant rabbi

SHED Simove has created the Rampant Rabbi, a plastic phallus that lets a toy Jewish cleric touch your innermost being and turn you on to holy love.

For £99, you can buy the device (tagline: “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!”).

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Posted: 27th, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Juxtaposition Fail: The Girl’s Body In The Discount Suitcase


Posted: 26th, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Cruel Men Critisising Their Wives’ Coffee In 1950s And 1960s Adverts (And Her Revenge)

coffee men

SHE makes terrible coffee. Sure, she has nice hair, pretty ankles and takes her prescription medication without any fuss, but that darn coffee is terrible. There is just no getting away from it.

Shaun Clayton made a study of male reactions to female coffee making in this video below. He took adverts from the 1950s and 1960s and “edited them down to just the moments when the guys were the biggest jerks to their wives about coffee”.

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Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Gertrude Stein: A Great Rejection Letter And A Study Of The Back Of Her Head


ON April 19, 1912, Gertrude STrine received this letter from Arthur C Fifield, Publisher.

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Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities, Flashback | Comment

Tyne And Wear Metro Reminds Passengers Not To Get Decapitated On The Train

Brain on train

TYNE and Wear Metro have created a new safety video. Called “Don’t be insane, use your brain“, the video comes with a song and cartoon passengers being killed by decapitation and electricity.

Train operator DB Regio wants passengers to stop propping the doors open to let late arrivals onboard. They say it’s “madness”. Since April, 80 trains have been delayed this way. No-one has died. To correct thing to do is to let the doors close and then wave at the wet, tired and emotional passenger left standing on the platform.

Sharon Kelly, director of operations and customer services at DB Regio Tyne and Wear, says:

“We introduced platform announcements and put posters up on train doors to remind passengers that they shouldn’t obstruct the doors. But it doesn’t seem to have worked, because people are still doing it. It’s madness really. You wouldn’t stick your hand in the door of a bus that was about to leave a bus stop, would you? But that’s just what people are doing on the Metro.”

We hear you, Sharon. The only thing for it is to equip the doors with whirling blades or, better yet, a jihadi in every carriage ready to wield an axe lest the infidels tamper with the doors.  Also, we’d like them to pilot a scheme whereby backpackers, anyone eating a kebab or shouting “Come on you lot, cheer up” is shot in the face.

YouTube link.

Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Samsung Is Making Augmented Reality Glasses For Sport. What Sports?

SAMSUNG wants to put its computers on your face. And has just landed a patent for a new device that will do just that.

Google has staked out the space of face computers and though little demonstrable desire has been expressed for the devices – its Google Glass has been the poster child for the technology.

The idea is you walk around with a pair of glasses with a built-in computer that sits on top of one of your ears. The lenses are transparent screens through which you see the world, but also any stuff that Google wants to push on there, weightloss adverts, vouchers, that kind of thing. You know what Google likes to tell you about.

Samsung's new sports glasses, from the Korean patent

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Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment

Eating In Silence At Brooklyn’s Place For Food Monks

Peg on NoseDINERS at Nicholas Nauman’s Eat in Brooklyn, New York, can book to eat on a night when everyone eats in total silence. Should a glass break, no-one will cheer. The bill is presented in total silence. The waitress will not ask “Did you enjoy your meal?” You will not speak to your friends, but communicate by raising eyebrows, grinning, frowning or rolling your eyes at the couple by the door who look like they’re having a silent row.

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Posted: 24th, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Pokemon Health And Safety Warning: Pet Fighting Is Illegal

POKEMON magazine has issued a health and safety warning:

pokemon warning



Posted: 23rd, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Great Bench Tributes: She ‘Liked To Sit Down’

PLAQUES on wooden benches are routinely miserable. They make you think of death and loss. Some, however, can make you smile:
BEnch of teh day




Posted: 23rd, October 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment

Coreyography: Corey Feldman On Growing Up One Step Down From Slavery


IN Coreyography, former child star Corey Feldman tells of his life. Parts of it sound awful. Although, as he said:

“I had a terrible childhood. I can only compare it to someone born in Ethiopia, or Iraq, or who is born into slavery, or gang life. Well I haven’t lived through that, but the next step down.”

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Posted: 23rd, October 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment

Look What They Did To Frances Quinn Winner Of The Great British Bake Off

british bake off

FRANCES Quinn wins The Great British Bake Off. The underdog kept her victory over Ruby Tandoh, 21, and psychologist Kimberley Wilson, 30, quiet for three months.

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Posted: 22nd, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)

Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore: A Film About Clubbing In The 70s, 80s And 1990s

Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore

IN Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore, British artist Mark Leckey produced what one critic called “the finest portrayal of British nightlife ever captured”.

Jonathan Jones added that “(Leckey) haunts the secret parts of modern culture, where memory and emotion linger”.

What he did was to capture the feeling of dancing in a night club in the 70s, 80s and 90s.

Says Leckey of his 1999 film:

“It took two years to create, but it was made of 30 years of repressed desire.”

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Posted: 22nd, October 2013 | In: Flashback, Music, The Consumer | Comment

Shreddies: The Men Knickers That Filter Your Bottom Burps


LEICESTERSHIRE’S Shreddies Ltd. brings us knickers and pants that filter your farts.

The thin and flexible cloth, which contains Zorflex® — the same activated carbon material used in chemical warfare suits — is reactivated simply by washing the pants. Shreddies say through extensive testing the carbon cloth could filter odors 200 times the strength of the average flatus emission.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment

Cupcakes Are Exploiting Young Women


MATT Seaton wants to talk about a serious issue in the Guardian: cupcakes.

You know what cupcakes really are? – butter-iced snares of self-loathing that sell precisely because they exploit young women’s insecurity about their looks and identity, and offer a completely false and self-defeating solace of temporary gratification, almost certainly followed by remorse and disgust.

They’re just cakes, you say. Ah, but they’re not just cakes: like any cultural artefact, they have implicit values baked in. And the values I see in cupcakes are of a demeaning, self-trivialising sort of hyper-femininity. This is where I start to sound like the worst kind of moralising Puritan killjoy, but it’s just really hard for me to believe that serious, self-respecting adult women would be at all susceptible to this gooey, sickly-sweet embodiment of female wish-fulfilment.

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Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment