The Consumer | Anorak - Part 60

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Guatemala funeral parlour wants your stiffs

funeral guatemala

IF you or a loved one dies in Guatemala, then Funeraria López is looking for stiffs:

Spotter: B3ta

Posted: 26th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Pictures of people who mock me for being fat: one woman turns the camera on the sneering

the fat

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Posted: 26th, April 2013 | In: Photojournalism, The Consumer | Comments (2)

Hyundai make staggeringly stupid advert where a bloke tries to kill himself with clean emissions

hyundai suicide copy

HYUNDAI have made a staggeringly stupid advert where a bloke tries to kill himself via “pipe job” locked inside one of their cars but fails because the emissions are too clean. Maybe the faceless Hyundai drove him to it?

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Posted: 25th, April 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)

What’s your worst experience of a night club bouncer?

London Scenes - Soho - Walkers Court Club

AHMED Popal, a bouncer in Melbourne, has escaped prison after being found guilty of beating people up at the door. In the video below you can see Popal punching and slapping a woman who had come to help her boyfriend whom Popal had set about.

Popal had a prior conviction for assault but was still granted a licence to work the doors. In court, Popal was handed a seven month suspended sentence and $10,000 fine.

So. What’s the worst thing a bouncer has done to you?

Photo: A man being thrown-out of the Walkers Court Striptease Club off Brewer Street. Date: 15/03/1966


Posted: 25th, April 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Al Schiefley and Les Skuse give a lovely lady the ‘SWEET’ and ‘SOUR’ boob tattoo

bristol tattoo

IN this photograph, Al Schiefley and Les Skuse apply ink to a willing dish.

Les Skuse lived all his life in Bristol, England. He visited the US and leaned from such bigwigs of the tattoo world as Paul Rodgers, Huck Spaulding and Schiefley. He explained what tattooing was like in the 1950s:

“English tattooists were using a single needle. This caused a lot of bleeding and pain. This finished design looked very thin and scratchy when compared with the strong, well-shaded designs done in the United States.”

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Posted: 22nd, April 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Ohio woman is ‘too fat to tan’

fat tan
KELLY McGrevey is too fat to tan. How can that be possible? An “obese” woman would get to the sun’s rays first. Lie her on her side, back or front and Kelly’s hips, bosom and buttocks would surely create a large shadow for many others.  It’s a wonder that a star who wanted to avoid the sun’s ageing rays, such as Madonna, say, hasn’t hired a larger person to stand sun-side of them at all times.

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Posted: 21st, April 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comments (2)

The Margaret Thatcher commemorative candle snuffer

Margaret Thatcher cande snuffer

NOW that Margaret Thatcher has died and the funeral is over, what will you do to keep her memory alive? Peter Jones has a solutions. The smart shop for household items has for £185 a Bronte Margaret Thatcher Extinguisher*.

This exquisite hand-made and hand-painted fine bone china figurine is of Mrs Thatcher depicted at the start of her parliamentary career on the evening in 1959 when she successfully contested the Finchley seat. Comes with a limited edition certificate personally signed by Margaret Thatcher. Limited Edition 300 Height 4″.

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Posted: 19th, April 2013 | In: Politicians, The Consumer | Comment

The TEXAS-ISRAELI WAR 1999: Charlie Bagle, over

the texas isreali war


IN 1999, those rebellious Texans kidnap the President of the US of A. Only a bunch of fearless Israelis can save him. Jake Saunders and Howard Waldrop report on the TEXAS-ISRAELI WAR 1999.

The report was made in 1974, which appears odd (but it’s how newspaper reporting works).

On August 12, 1992, England’s tiny nuclear arsenal fell on Ireland, on South Africa, and finally on China. Instantly the planet went up in flames. In the first half year of what was to be called the War of ’92, half the Earth’s population perished. The United States was reduced to a vast underpeopled land — and, to make matters worse, Texas had seceded and taken her precious oil reserves. But Israel, virtually untouched in a world ravaged by war, was painfully overpopulated.

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Posted: 17th, April 2013 | In: Books | Comment

Bras are useless, so burn them (take them off first)

Woman burns bra in 1972

SCIENTISTS are always discovering brilliant things and curing all manner of awful diseases. Some, however, focus on any old crap in a bid to justify their jobs.

Take, for example, a French scientist who has declared that bras are useless.

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Posted: 15th, April 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

The Langauge of Legs: how a girl deploys her gams reveals far more then just her lower limbs

playboy legs

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Posted: 12th, April 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Great Ads: Devonshire Sunshine Bubble Soy aftertaste face

Devonshire Sunshine Bubble Soy aftertaste face

GREAT Ad Watch: Devonshire Sunshines Bubble Soy Aftertaste face:

The second one’s even better:

Posted: 12th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Asda Corned Beef – now with free drugs!

Corned beef recall after bute found

THERE’S a little bit extra in your tins of ASDA Smart Price Corned Beef. There’s a dash of the veterinary drug phenylbutazone, known as bute. The Food Standards Agency has found traces of the painkilling medicine in those cans. You can keep your hash brownies, your space cakes and your Kool Aid. Asda is giving away free drugs with meat. Beat that, vegetarians!

Posted: 11th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comments (6)

Turning toilet rolls into sculptures

YOU see an empty toilet role. The BBC sees a space rocket. Junior Jacquet sees an opportunity for sculptures. Oddly, the sculptures look like they’ve been modelled on faces contorted in constipation:

toilet paper faces 5

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Posted: 11th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

So that’s the end of kiddies TV programmes: the illiberal elite to ban advertising

children toys ads

IT does worry me when people propose these sorts of things. It’s as if they are entirely ignorant of why the darn things exist in the first place:

Companies selling products such as toys, sweets, clothes and video games should be prevented from marketing them towards primary school pupils amid fears the trend is undermining children’s natural development, it is claimed.

In a letter to The Daily Telegraph, the group of academics, authors, MPs and charity leaders warned that aggressive advertising aimed at infants as young as two was leading to a rise in “pester power” as children increasingly nag parents for the most expensive brands.

The development also makes it harder for parents to control their children and teach sons and daughters how to manage small quantities of money, they say.

Today’s letter urges the Government to copy tactics employed in countries such as Sweden and Greece where advertising aimed at young children is banned.

It is claimed that the ban could work by placing curbs on advertising linked to TV programmes, magazines and websites orientated towards under-11s and restricting tactics such as the use of cartoon characters in ad campaigns.

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Posted: 11th, April 2013 | In: Money, The Consumer | Comment

1979: The lunatic Schlitz malt liquor advert

Schlitz malt liquor advert

IN 1979, consumers were turned onto the flavours of Schlitz Malt Liquor with a group of Afro-American space voyagers, their pet jive-bot and a massive rampaging bull. Good to know that in the future, all space pioneers will drinking malted booze:

Posted: 10th, April 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Man buying two poodles takes home ferrets on steroids

ferret dog

TO Argentina, where the dog lover has discovered that the two poodles he bought are actually fluffed-up ferrets on steroids. He only discovered the truth when he took them to the vets for their vaccinations. It turned out that steroids had been used to make the ferrets grow and lots of combing had fashioned them to look like pedigree poodles.

ferret dog 1

An investigation revealed that a woman looking for a chihuahua had also bought a ferret.

YouTube link.

Posted: 9th, April 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment (1)

Taking the Daily Express’ health reporting with a large pinch of salt

salt express

WHAT is the cure for High blood pressure. On April 4, 2013, the Daily Express led with “CURE FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE”. The paper had “five easy steps can keep the kill condition”.

Keeping active, slashing salt intake, eating a healthy diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables, cutting down on alcohol and not smoking all cut the chances of developing the deadly condition.

Salt intake. But Joe Willey had already told readers on July 6, 2011:

Salt is safe to eat – and cutting our daily intake does nothing to lower the risk of suffering from heart disease

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Posted: 8th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

United Airline v Deborah Renwick: Making black women conform or else in 1969

hair airline

IN 1969, air hostess Deborah Renwick was sacked for refusing to “shorten her hair”. But her hair wasn’t long. Renwick said her her hair was shorter than many white flight steward’s’ hair. Renwick believed that it wasn’t the length that mattered to her employers, it was the natural curl. After legal wrangling, United paid her $5,000, “endors[ed] the Afro hairstyle” and offered her her job back. She declined.

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Posted: 8th, April 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Man attempts hot shave by heating up can on stove – what could go wrong?

shaving fire

IN search of the perfect shave, the gentleman’s bathroom cabinet has become an arsenal of weapons-grade blades. Two blades, three blades, four blades and more are smeared in ointments to turn your shave into a Cupid-fingered massage. One man in Largo, Florida, wanted to up the ante. He wanted to hot shave. So. He placed the can of shaving cream on the stove, turned up the heat and waited. Soon his shaving gels would be hot enough to smear over his beard.

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Posted: 6th, April 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)

666-metres-long fire-breathing dragon bridge opens in Vietnam

Dragon bridge han river

LANDMARKS can be pretty much anything. New York has the Statue of Liberty. London has Big Ben. Australia has big prawns. And Berkshire had ‘Matt The Talc’, who used to sit outside Spackman’s of Newbury. Every thrusting new town and city needs a symbol of its greatness. So, the burgers of Da Nang, Vietnam, are delighted to show off the fire-breathing, water-spitting dragon over the Han River that opened for traffic last week.

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Posted: 6th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Mum assures that her daughter is forever associated with Camel Balls

camel balls copySO outraged was Charlene McKenzie, 26, that her seven-year-old daughter, Ruby, was offered a packet of Camel Balls bubble gum that she agreed to appear in the papers holding up the offending stuff.
Says Charlene:
“I was disgusted as I think that it’s totally inappropriate. I am more upset with the company that makes the gum than the shops that sell it. It’s OK for adults and a bit of a laugh, but I can’t see the funny side when they are kept in the sweet section of shops where children like Ruby will see them.”

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Posted: 3rd, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Soft Paris lingerie aims to destroy British feminism and crap on your lawn

soft paris

SOFT Paris is a French knickers and undies company (that’s lingerie – ed) aiming to teach the clueless, potato-sack-clad British woman how to dress for sex. To promote the brand, the company has issued its 10 steps to seduction. Most British men would be happy with availability and warmth. But we can all be more. Says Soft Paris:

Why do English women hunch over, either shuffling or stomping? This is not seductive. Take the time to look around you, proudly, chin up/shoulders back, walking with one foot almost in front of the other, to undulate your hips provocatively.

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Posted: 1st, April 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment