The Consumer | Anorak - Part 80

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

This advert Russia’s Avianova airline is plain odd

THIS advert Russia’s Avianova airline is plain odd. Mexicans and Ryan Air, eat yer heart out:

Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The best advert for sorting out old people

THE old. What to do with them? These adverts are here to help:


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Posted: 21st, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Incredible photos of water flowers

JACK Long makes flowers from thickener, pigment, dye and water. Long has created Vessels and Blooms. Says he:

“Wanted to advance my fluid suspension/high speed photography to a higher level. I created the liquid Vase in the autumn of 2011. I worked on creating the floral forms and leaves through the winter and put it all together Spring 2012. All of my images, unless otherwise noted are single capture events. I do not use photoshop to create composited images. What you see is what occurred in that single exposure.”

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Posted: 19th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The 10 most awful books covers and titles

ARE these the 10 most awful book titles and covers in English literature? (More epic covers here. And more lusty stuff is here.)


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Posted: 19th, June 2012 | In: Books, Key Posts | Comment

Have you read the Necromonicon?

HAVE you read the Necromonicon? It’s Al-Azif’s , aka Abdul Alhazred, greatest work. It was translated by  H. P. Lovecraft in 922.

“If knowing the unknowable is crazy…I don’t want to be saved…”

Some background:

In 2005 I was called, in my capacity of Artisan’s Book, to look after the restoration of a book found in an old house-in-Vhallennes Weppes (59 North) by a Notary following the death of the owner.

The book, in a terrible state, has been identified as a French translation of Kitab al-Azif of Abul Hazred by historians, antiquarians and bibliologues also called on the restoration project and studies.

A restoration workshop was installed instead of Vhallennes to limit additional damage that could cause repeated displacements

After a long series of photographs of over 600 pages of the book, the book has been fully digitized in order to list all the missing parts, whether physical, graphic or typographical

In 2007 the first tests of facsimiles have even created through a process of ever more powerful computer.

The identity of the author of this translation, dated 1751, remains obscure to date. However, it is possible to advance the name of Alceste-Tudal-Aymour ARTOIS , a Theosophist who had distinguished himself in many translations of works in Semitic languages. The blibliologues, Thomas Vandeleare , has no knowledge of authors of that era that could cause such work on an Arabic text of the 8 th century. The fact that D’Artois ATA has decided Keep anonymity on a work such as this one remains a mystery total.


Posted: 18th, June 2012 | In: Books | Comment (1)

Fat people offered chance to be burned to death or drowned

THE Times reports that if all the fat of the world submitted to liposuction the harvested fat would “fill a lake the size of Derwent Water”. Burning the fat would produce the same power as a nuclear power station for 20 years. Know that North Americans make up just 6 per cent of the world’s population, but boast a third of humanity’s fat reserves.

So, fatty, what’s it to be, drowning or burning? Come on, the skinny are waiting for an answer?

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Posted: 18th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Flashback to 1976: The Raleigh Grifter helps boys pull models

VINTAGE sex can sell anything advert of the day. It’s July 21 1976, The Press Association reports:

Adding a touch of glamour at a press preview of children’s bicycles from Raleigh, is model Cheryl Hersch from Chiswick, who takes to the saddle of the Raleigh Grifter, one of the new range, which was on show at Craven Cottage, the home ground of Fulham Football Club.

Get a push bike and pull a model, kids. (I had one of these bikes in silver. And, true enough, I was soon beating off glamour models with a stick.)


Posted: 17th, June 2012 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment (1)

German David Hasselhoff advertises smegma Lean Pockets as an Italian sex repellent

DAVID Haselhoff stars in the worst advert you’ve seen today. The Hoff is advertising some god-awful crap called Lean Pockets – a hollowed tampon filled with Popeye’s smegma whose raison de manger is that it will repel fertile hairy men and seduce priapic middle Middle-aged Germanic twats and metrosexual men who wax their cracks and spend more time in the beauty salon that you.

Yummm. D’lish!

Double murder burger to go, mon brave. And hurry! The future of humanity depends on it…

Posted: 16th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Unrealistic body image of the days: Muscle & Fitness promises big arms – like the Hulk

MEN. Are you tired of being pressured by manufactured beauty? Well, it’s getting worse. Muscle & Fitness magazine has raised the bar. As Steve Dawson says: “Typical! Another magazine perpetuating unrealistic body images.”

Spotter: @SDawsonBros

Posted: 14th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Shot Girls: Vanity Wonder uncovers the black market in silicon buttock injections

VANITY Wonder is the woman lifting the lid on the world of black market buttock injections. In Shot Girls, Vanity  revela such moments as meeting Luxor:

Her breasts were huge and she had a big jiggly booty. She was over 6ft tall though, with huge hands and feet and her voice was kind of, well, deep. I blew it off like maybe she was just a big woman.

While the two of them caught up, Luxor brashly instructed Casey to put the numbing ointment on me and Denim. He called us over one at a time and rubbed a gel on our butts, then covered them with saran wrap. When I pulled my pants down, he was surprised.

“OH! You smell just like baby powder! It’s nice to get somebody in here that smell good. Some of these girls come in here smellin’ so bad!” he said.

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Posted: 13th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)

Video compilation of catwalk models falling over

VIDEO compilation of catwalk models falling over. Add a laughing Stuart Hall and it’s Jeux Sans Frontières never went away…

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Posted: 12th, June 2012 | In: Fashion | Comment

Harvey Nichols promotes female ejaculation with racy ad

THE flyers for the Harvey Nichols shops (Leeds and Knightsbridge) features a woman with damp patch on her groin and the legend: “The Harvey Nichols Sale… Try To Contain Your Excitement.”

Have they wet themselves or reached orgasm?

And is wetting yourself the best way to get ahead of to the other shoppers. Is that the Harvey Knickers message? If so, we advise smearing your undercarriage with poo. Don’t bother queuing overnight for that bargain – just target those who do…

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Posted: 9th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

The Chinese trade in dead and live pangolin

WOULD you eat a pangolin? Plenty do. This week, Thai customs rescued 110 pangolins worth about $35,500 that they say were to be sold outside the country as exotic food. The Chinese love them. The Herbal Encyclopedia say pangolin are “used to cure tumefaction [swelling], promote blood circulation and help breast-feeding mothers produce milk.” Mix pangolin with turtle shell to cure your fibroids. Like everything else, it tastes like chicken…


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In this photo taken Thursday, Dec, 10, 2009, Indonesian Forest Ministry officials and forest police burn pangolins during a destruction of the 763 kilogram of pangolin meat confiscated by Customs and Excise in Kapuk, Indonesia. The pangolin trade, banned in 2002 by CITES, the international convention on endangered species, resembles a pyramid. At the base are poor rural hunters, including workers on Indonesia's vast palm oil plantations. They use dogs or smoke to flush the pangolins out or shake the solitary, nocturnal animals from trees in often protected forests. (AP Photo)

Posted: 7th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Awkward dating profiles without Julian Assange – photos

TUMBLR site of the day is OK Cupid Enemies, pages that document the best of the OK Cupid dating site. Sadly, lovelorn Julian Assange is otherwise engaged right now, but others are available. Browse the talent:


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Posted: 7th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

Brock Davis has fun with broccoli (photos)

BROCK Davis has been playing with his food. The Cauliflower Nagasaki is poignant:

Spotter: Make Something Cool Every Day, via Bored Panda

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Posted: 6th, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)

Double-trousers man fights shopping trolley in Poland

MEANWHILE in Poland….


Posted: 3rd, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Vintage weight-gain adverts – when fat was fulfilling

FAT. The Government, the press and the fat hate it. Once upon a time, the fuller figure was a thing of desire. We’ve got a gallery of vintage weight gain adverts for you to enjoy. Scoff it up. Eat for happiness:


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Posted: 2nd, June 2012 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Colon navigations: University of the Arts London gets a new logo

GET a load of that natty new logo for the University of the Arts London (UAL). It’s £48,000 well invested.  The cutting-edge design was created by Domenic Lippa, a UAL alumnus. Lippa explains how he came up with the wonder:

 “The colon is the connection between UAL and the completion of the identity. A variety of colleges and variety of creativities exist. So it’s quite a challenge for us. This is a sort of new generation of our expression for the university.” 

Colons can do that. Minami Takahashi, a student of Foundation Art and Design at Central Saint Martins, approves:

“Though £48,000 seems expensive for creating a logo, the new logo will bring a fresh feeling to the place and give me more motivation to study.”

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Posted: 1st, June 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Disney World fans turn on monorail squirrel (video)

IN Disney’s The Sword in the Stone, Merlin turns Arthur and himself into squirrels. Bucky the Squirrel appeared in The Emperor’s New Groove. Snow White knew squirrels. The squirrel and the Disney go way back. But things can come to a head. Friends can move on.

Monorail passengers at Disney World were forced to endure a 45-minute wait between stops because a squirrel got on the track and the driver did not want to hurt it, doubtless fearing a lawsuit issued by other Disney animals.

Others were less wowed by the squirrel and have turned on its kind (video two – language NSFW)):

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Posted: 31st, May 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

This KFC advert is the most complained ad in history

THE most complained about advert in history is….this 2005 Kentucky Fried Chicken advert.

Wear your gong with pride, KFC.

The KFC Zinger ad is, according to the Advertising Standards Authority’s list of most-upsetting adverts, the most disgusting, scooping a record 1,671 complaints. (Is that all? – ed).

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Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Inappropriate toy of the day – the Skipping Rape

TODAY’S Inappropriate toy of the day – the Skipping Rape:

Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Cornish pastry fans chow down on reverse ferret – Tory U-turn

CORNISH pastries go free! The Government has reversed ferret on its pastry tax. From now on minced lamb, beef and that ferret will not cost an extra 20% if served above room temperature. Only pastries served from the hot plate will be subject to VAT – not ones that just happen to be hot from the oven and are being left to cool to the ambient temperature.

A Liberal Democrat MP named Stephen Gilbert, who represents Newquay, where McDonald’s outsells the pasty by eight to one, tells the BBC:

“The Cornish people have won and there will be dancing in streets from Land’s End to the Tamar as people hear that the government has dropped its plans to clobber local people and local businesses with this tax.”

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Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Cool ad of the week – the flying horse cat butter

COOL ad of the week – butter cat:

Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Vintage ad of the day: Change your Y-fronts every day of the week

FLASHBACK to April 1971 – the cool kids are wearing Y-fronts every day of the week!


Posted: 27th, May 2012 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

In photos: Wave-Gotik-Treffen (Wave Gothic Festival) in Leipzig, Germany

IN Photos: the Wave-Gotik-Treffen (Wave Gothic Festival) in Leipzig, eastern Germany. The skulls and the crossbones represent “dark culture”. In Germany, they might well symbolise recent history…


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Participants of the industrial and gothic music festival Wave-Gotik-Treffen play with their costumes in Leipzig, eastern Germany, on Saturday, May 26, 2012. For several days, Leipzig has become a real gothic paradise – white makeup, bold-up eyes, black hair and incredible outfits. (AP Photo/Jens Meyer)

Posted: 27th, May 2012 | In: Fashion | Comment