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The Consumer | Anorak - Part 97

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Birmingham Lad Finds Chewing Gum In Thick And Chewy Tesco Pizza

CALLUM Fowler was shocked to find a half eaten piece of chewing gum in his Tesco pizza. Mum Jamie had bought the nipper a Tesco’s Italian meal form her local Tesco Extra store in New Oscott. Says she:

“I think it’s disgusting. I’d cut the pizza in half and given half to Callum and half to my other son Ollie. I was upstairs when Callum shouted up, ‘Mum, there’s something on my pizza.”

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Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Osama bin Laden’s Last Breath For Sale (In A Can!)

OSAMA Bin Laden is now available in cans. Capitalism beasts Jihadism in the big smack down.

Spotter: Jim

Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Sheffield Woman Finds Needle In Breakfast Lard: Londoners Aghast

KATIE Greaves, 26, of Longley, Sheffield, was shocked to find a needle sticking out from the block of lard she’d bought from a Tesco Metro outlet.

Katie sliced into the 27p pack of Tesco Value lard “while making sausage and bacon sandwiches at breakfast time for her son, Kian“. He’s 6 years old.

Says she:

“I think it’s a safety issue. Whatever it is, it should not be in a block of lard. I tried to cut a bit off and thought, this is unusual, I can’t cut through it. I cut round where I couldn’t get through and saw there was a bit of metal sticking out. I don’t know how it could have got in there, whether it’s a bit of machinery or what.”

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Posted: 14th, May 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


David’s Doodle Is The Inappropriate Toy Of The Day

INAPPROPRIATE Toy Of the Day: David’s Doodle…

Harry Potter Bouncy Castle Is The Inappropriate Toy Of The Day

Buzz Lightyear Sip Cup Is The Inappropriate Toy Of The Day

Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Absinthe Now Legal In France: Fairy Liquids All Round

ABSINTHE is now legal in France. After a ban of 100 years, you can drink the “green fairy”. The brew, containing grande wormwood (Artemisia absinthium), which features the delicious taste of thujone, can now be legally imbibed.

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Posted: 5th, May 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (5)


Dos Equis Produces The Most Racist Advert Ever?

HAS DOES Equis beer produced the most racist advert ever?

And not only racist but also possessed by a smear of misogyny.

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Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


Wal-Mart Sells Guns Again As Green Power Loses To Greenbacks

WAL-Mart has decided that, such as things are, it might be a good idea to try and make as much money as possible. Not too long ago, Wal-Mart attempted to educate its shoppers by selling them things they did not want.

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Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Honest Logos: What Facebook, YouTube And McDonald’s Should Say

WHAT do logos really mean (even the very bad ones and sexy ones)? Viktor Hertz has produced a gallery of “Honest logos”. What is the message behind the branding? (No word on Anorak’s logo – what would you replace it with?)

honest_logos_01

Picture 1 of 8

Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


The Pocket Chair Exists

THE Pocket Chair is a thing that exists. Adam Jay is a big man with a small chair.

“Standing around is now a thing of the past”…

Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


The Greatest eBay Advert Ever: The Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec Ghia (With Knickers)

THE best ever eBay adverts if for a “Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec Ghia Mint Green (Possibly works underwater but this is unconfirmed)” sold by “Pistolfeet” for £1080 on april 16, 2011.

The advert:

IF Trebor made car paint then I imagine it would look something like the colour of this car, it’s a pale minty green. I will include some green Trebor mints in the sale so that you can compare for yourself. Please specify if you would prefer Extra Strong mints instead, they are white (unlike the colour of this car) but I personally prefer them even if I do hold them partially responsible for the decay in one of my teeth.

I took this car in part exchange along with some cash for another car I was selling. I didn’t really want it but I wanted the car I had less and since I am a valeter by trade I saw potential in this.

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Posted: 16th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (5)


Vegetarian Magazine Uses Photos Of Delicious Meat

THE photos of delicious non-meaty meals in VegNews, a San Francisco-based vegetarian magazine, might actuially be of meat.

A blogger called Quarrygirl broke the story:

“This situation exposes a clear issue with the editorial integrity of Veg News. They are KNOWINGLY publishing misleading pictures of MEAT dishes, and passing them off as vegan. If they will stoop that low (and appear to have been doing so for years) what else can we not trust about this formerly erstwhile publication?”

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Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Only In America: Photos Of US Culture That Say So Much

WE’VE pulled together a gallery of photos of life in the USA. These are things that could only exist in America. Things like the children’s clothes store for XXXL kidz; the deep-fried garlic mashed potatoes on a stick shack; a sandwhich as big as an actual child; crosses that glow in the dark; sexy guns; and how to seduce Jesus – a cosmetic redemption kit…

things_in_america_06

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Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Words Advertisers Use To Seduce Girls And Boys

THIS word cloud shows how advertisers and marketeers use words to seduce girls and boys to buy their products.

(Click the image to watch it grow.)

See if you can find “daddy” or any reference to an adult male figure  in the boys’ cloud, and “beat” or a sign of winning in the girls’ one.

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Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Saucy Postcards Banned By Royal Mail: Prince Andrew And Fergie Are Acceptable

SAUCY seaside postcards are not suitable for Her Majesty’s Royal Mail. That’s the official ruling that bars Leeds postcard company Bamforth from having its cartoons featured on customised stamps, known as Smilers.

Seven of the 10 images suggested by the firm have been banned.

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Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Hawaiian Colonic Cleansing Course Runs Out Of Toilets

FANS of the Hawaiian colon cleansing course in northern Sweden were disarmed by the lack of toilets. Having, over eight days, imbibed the diet of salted water, psyllium and bentonite for roughage in grape juice – which “gives you enough energy so you won’t faint” – you pass the accumulated faecal “plaque”.

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Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)


Experts Warn Over Cherry Flavoured Breakfast Beer

IN New Zealand, locals will soon be waking up to a cherry-flavoured “breaskfast beer“. It’s a wheat lager created by Marlborough brewery Moa. It’s the “beer the ladies can enjoy too … if you’re having a champagne breakfast but don’t fancy champagne, have a beer instead“.

Because Kiwis always wake up with a glass of imported French fizz. And isn’t Kiwi beer a ladies’ drink anyway?

Cherry beer sounds disgusting. But the mere mention of breakfast beer provides an opportunity for the someone called Christine Rogan, of Alcohol Healthwatch, to says that drinking in the morning was an indicator of an alcohol problem.

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Posted: 5th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Bona Hard Wood Polish Is Our Advert Of The Day

ADVERT of The day is for Bona hard wood polish. Brings yer wood up a treat…

Posted: 4th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


German Bakery Uses Black Baby In Nappy To Sell Chocolate Cake

THE advert for a special offer on chocolate cakes and brown bread at Germany’s Raddatz bakery features the image of a black baby. The adverts says:

“Only while stocks last. Subject to changes and errors. Image is only a serving suggestion.”

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Posted: 4th, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


‘Explosion’ Rips Roof Off Southwest Airlines Plane

“JUST unreal. All of a sudden there’s like a little explosion. Sounded like an explosion at least. All of a sudden there’s a sunroof in the middle of the plane.”

So says a passenger aboard Southwest AirlinesFlight 812 from Phoenix to Sacramento.

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Posted: 2nd, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Newspaper Free Gifts Of The Day: A Pint Of Mr Happy Body Butter

BECAUSE the news is so interchangeable, people buy newspapers to have their prejudices confirmed and for free stuff.

Which of the following would induce you to buy the newspaper?

**DAILY MAIL 80p**
FREE – body butter 50ml – Redeem at The Body Shop
FREE – £5 off £15 – Redeem at The Body Shop

**DAILY MIRROR 65p**
FREE – Mr Men Book – Mr Happy & The Wizard – Redeem at Morrisons or send away

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Posted: 2nd, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Heard The One About The Dead Jack Russell Dog In The Butcher’s Freezer?

THE Boston Standard is reporting that a dead dog – a Jack Russell – has been found in the freezer of a premises, reportedly, once occupied by a butchers in Market Place.

The paper says police were acting “on a lead“.

The council said in a statement that a formal caution has been issued to a local butcher “after reports that, following the death of his much-loved pet Jack Russell dog, he had kept the animal in a commercial freezer awaiting burial. The pet was wrapped in a blanket and placed in a separate box and posed no risk to public health. All of the contents of the freezer were destroyed using a licensed waste contractor. The distraught butcher concerned closed immediately and has since ceased trading.”

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Posted: 1st, April 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Abercrombie & Fitch Padded Paedo Bikini: Update

THE Abercrombie & Fitch padded paedo bikini is being met with fury. Get a load of that caption:

In other news, Anorak Industries brings you The Comfi-Swimz.

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Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Man Finds Dead Monster In Monster Energy Drink

TO DES Moins, where Vitaliy Sulzhik opens his Monster Energy Drink to find a dead mouse inside. While it’s no monster, the mouse is close enough to suggest that the drink delivers exactly what is promises on the can.

Mr Sulzhik is suing the beverage makers. But he should reconsider. After all, what could invigorate you more than opening a restorative drink to find a horror within?

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Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Ark Royal Is For Sale: And You Can Buy It

THE Ark Royal is for sale. The Royal Navy’s former flagship HMS Ark Royal has been put up for sale on the Ministry of Defence’s auction website.

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Posted: 28th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)


The UK’s Top Ten Picnic Spots: And Other Views From The Car

THE debate has raged over lashings of ginger beer and doggers: what is the best picnic spot in the UK?

Just which place looks best when viewed from the front-seat of your car over a pickled egg?

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Posted: 28th, March 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)