Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 52

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Glee Producers Realise That Firing The Famous Cast Isn’t Too Great An Idea

GLEEKS the world over where literally apoplectic with a vague sense of mild irritation when they heard the news that The Famous Ones from Glee were getting fired.

Of course, Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith were going to get handed their P45s because, in the name of realism (which the show clearly prides itself on – HA!), their characters were going to have to leave school after graduation.

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Posted: 25th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


BBC Wonk Michael Crick Upstaged By Shitting Dog

ALL eyes on the dog as Newsnight’s political editor Michael Crick, 53, stands before the cameras on College Green opposite the Houses of Parliament.

Molly, the five year-old collie, is a hard but fair critic.

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Posted: 25th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Is The Corgi Rodeo Cute Animal Abuse? Video

PENNY the Corgi is made an offer she cannot refuse – mum and dad want her to join the rodeo.

Anorak sees something rather sad.

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Posted: 24th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Two Females Fight On A Train As Baby Dashes For Freedom: Video

ON a crowded New York train, two big women are fighting. It’s ugly. The baby in a pram being operated by one of the women makes a dash for freedom. Does mum notice? No:

Posted: 23rd, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


How To Park A Porsche Like A Rock Star (Video)

IN this video you will learn the correct way to park a Porsche. You see, a Porsche can be driven by someone cooler than a wasabi enema:

Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


It’s OK To ‘Murder’ Gary Glitter And Watch Legalised Rape And Paedophilia

GARY Glitter is not dead. As you were mum and dads. The singer / convicted paedophile complained to Ofcom, the media watchdog, about his mock execution on the 2009 Channel 4 TV drama The Execution of Gary Glitter.

Glitter, real name Paul Gadd, lamented that anyone watching the show might conclude that he had committed “terrible” crimes that had gone unpunished. People can so soooo judgemental, readers. For shame.

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Posted: 20th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Chihuahua Chases Off Smoke Shop Thieves (Video)

TO the Ace Smoke Shop in Altadena, California,. where two armed robbers being seen off by an excitable Chihuahua named Paco. The LA Times says they escaped with “less money than they could’ve gotten“.

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Posted: 19th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Mum Invents New Way To Administer Son’s Medicine (Video)

SCARED of pills? Scared of needles? Scared of taking medicine from a spoon? Never fear! Mum has a new method:

Posted: 19th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Woman Goes Planking In The Kitchen (Video)

WHEN planking in the kitchen, use a fitted Aga:

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Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Apprentice Winner Tom Pellereau Works On New TV Format For Lord Sugar

THE winner of The Apprentice is… Tom Pellereau. Tom gets to set up a business with Lord Alan Sugar that will invent a new TV format for the great entrepreneur.

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Posted: 17th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Girl Rips Out Brother’s Tooth Using Motorbike And String (Video)

YOU will now see a young Anna Nicole Smith rip out a tooth from the mouth of a young Shane Warne…in Canada…using a motorbike, garden furniture and a piece of a string…

Posted: 17th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Fox News Proves Jet Packs And Live Telly Do Mix Epic Fail (Video)

FOX 5 San Diego Morning News provers that jet packs and live telly do mix. It’s all about the entertainment…

Posted: 16th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


How To Tow A Car Into A Stream (Video)

TOW, too, tow your car merrily into the stream…

Posted: 16th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


How To French Kiss Like A Dog: A Video

HOW to French kiss like a dog who knows – really knows – how to French kiss…

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Peter Simon’s Talcum Powder Malfunction: Selly Telly Star Strikes Again

PETER Simon, star of selly telly Bid TV, follows his nasal thought bubble with a talcum powder malfunction…

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


BBC Gets World’s Worst Baseball Expert To Talk On Roger Clemens (Video)

THE BBC gets the wrong guest: “It’s worse than that. I can hear you, but I’m not Ben Walker and I know nothing about baseball.”

Time for all TV experts and nodding heads to be shuffled and placed in new and exciting arenas to be expert in: see Shami Chakrabarti on Match of The Day, Gok Wan on climate change and Hugh Grant on Question Time

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Posted: 14th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Dr Who’s TARDIS Is Relocated To A Portaloo On BBC3

DR Who is so very modern and cutting edge since the Doctor managed to become as young looking as his lovely assistants.

It is odd while the Time Lord gets younger his female sidekick remains nubile and, therefore, shaggable. People see this as a good thing. It is. Dr Who is no longer some creepy old guffer a growing lad would brave the ladies loos to avoid following into the public facilities. Had Dr Who not gone young, the other option was to relocate the TARDIS into a portaloo and morph the sidekick into a nascent gay young man on BBC3.

This new Dr Who can be photogenic. His sidekick can be his love interest. The Doctor is also very theatrical and speaks in a stage whisper. The show features terrible comedy moments and a mawkishness that would make Mork puke in Mindy’s hair. In short, it’s got one eye on the American market.

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Posted: 13th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Susan Boyle Performs On China’s Got Talent As A Pretty Nine-Year-Old Girl

SUSAN Boyle is in China for the finals of China’s Got Talent. Chjian loves the ordinary woman with the looks of someone you might see on the way to the shops or at the bus stop. In Shanghai, Boyle met Cai Hongping, one of show’s finalists. Cai owns a vegetable stand in the wet market.

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Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


A Dog Learns The Laws Of Physics

THE dog learns the laws of physics:

Spotter: Copyranter

Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Dallas Is Back – You’re Not Dreaming: Let’s Just Hope It Reawakens Dynasty

DALLAS is to make a return to the telly. The US soap opera that between 1978 and 1991 charted the lives of the Ewings cattle and oil family, of the Southfork Ranch in Texas – introducing us to The Oil Barons’ Ball and a scheming secretary called Sly (no-one said it was subtle) – is coming back.

Does the telly need Dallas? Anorak has spent the last few moments working out that because of the money paid on the compulsory licence fee, a one-hour screening of the 1980s soap opera will cost us 0.00019p. It is 0.0012p cheaper than EastEnders. You might think, makes is appear a sound investment. But, then, an apple in Marks & Spencer – one of those big shiny ones hand-picked by Brazilian virgins wearing gloves made from kid goat perineums – costs around 42p. And, you know what, we’d go without 30,216 episodes of EastEnders for one bite of that apple.

And no soap opera is free. Hollyoaks, Crossroads’ bastard child, is on Channel 4 – you pay for that in your licence fee. And there’s Coronation Street on ITV, a show now so firmly locked in its own past that it resembles a swirling bath tubs of soapy water making its way round and round life’s plug hole.

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Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


How To Turn A Cat Into A Handbag (Video)

CAT NAPPERS and fashionistas – this is how you deactivate a cat and turn it into a handbag…

Spotter: Arbroath

Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Kitten Outwitted By Two Green Apples: Video

THE kitten is scared of the two apples. Well, so says the headline to this video. But might it be that these two apples are training the kitten in warfare? Might it be that these two apples – and I am only saying this to uphold my membership to PUNS (the shadowy tabloid group Press United News Syndication) – are rotten to the core?

(Never trust a cat.)

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Posted: 10th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


The Baby Screech Owl Orphan Quartet: Video

THE Baby Screech Owl Orphan Quartet will now entertain you.

Good to see Ringo getting the lead for once…

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Posted: 10th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


How Not To Cook A Live Dog In A Big Pot: Video

THIS is why you should take care when cooking a live dog to place it tail first in the big pot:


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Posted: 9th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Wall Of Fame – David Walliams Takes It Hard And Fast Up The Twitter

I GOT a chance to watch David Walliams, the UK’s official gay-for-pay ambassador (after Russell Brand) hosting his new tabloid panel show, Wall Of Fame on SKY 1 HD.

Essentially, David is a dry, hetero-flexible host with good punchlines and visual jokes, like his burning cactus (that is not an STI reference).

This is completely new territory for Walliams. Viewers see a new side to him – the strategic, driven and focused star drawing the panel and his guests out into the pop cultural fray to take the piss. He adds class to the usual news quiz format.

My attention was held as the wall of 25 photos and videos lit up and flickered. David acted queer and special guests Billie Piper and Mrs. Robinson-esque political wife Sally Bercow added to the impression of watching the lounge at a suburban party of city emigrants.

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Posted: 8th, July 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment