Anorak

TV & Radio

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Valerie Keeps The Great White Shark As A Pet

RIPPER was always such a good pet. It’s not the Great White sharks that are the problem, it’s their owners.

PS – If you have lost a pet fish, you may need to move on.

Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


RIP Flick Colby: You And Pan’s People Made ToTP For Dads

RIP Flick Colby. You were the dancer and choreographer who entertained the dads as a resident dancer with Pan’s People on Top of The Pops.  Back in those pore pop video days, when the acts could not be there to mime “live”, the dancers would step in. Time, then to recall your fellow People of the Pipe: Babs Lord, Ruth Pearson and Dee Dee Wilde, Louise Clarke and Andi Rutherford…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Geordie Shore Only ‘Bordering On Pornographic’: Kim Kardashian Clones Escape Petri Dish

GEORDIE Shore is the UK’s answer to Jersey Shore. It’s the show that makes The Only Way Is Essex look elitist. It’s the show that for any watching in HD features goose bumps the size of your fist on taught-ish orangey-brown skin.

But just as you are poised not to watch, Newcastle Central MP Chi Onwurah steps in and gives the show the kind of push its producers can only have dreamt about. She says it is “bordering on pornographic”.

“It’s exploiting those young people and exploiting our city.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


In Which The Crab Escapes From The Cooking Pot: Video

HOW to cook a big croab in a small-ish pot – language NSFW:

Posted: 29th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Cheryl Cole’s US X Factor Audition Tape: Nation’s Sweetheart Bombs In America

CHERLY Cole has been “AXED AGAIN”. No sooner has the UK version of the X Factor announced its judging panel (Gary Barlow, Zig ‘n’ Zag, Tulisa Contostavlos, Louis Walsh and Kelly Rowland) than the nation’s sweetheart is told she’s not wanted on the show’s US version. Maybe one of the UK’s judges will suddenly leave and Chezza will step in to save the day?

We are in the age of the Cheryl Cole conspiracy theory. While some are wondering how she managed to get on in the first place, others are wondering how she managed to get off. Anorak hears that Cowell was threatened by Grassy Knoll, a fabled FBI agent working in cahoots with the Bilderberg Group’s Illuminati divsion basded in Max Clifford’s suite at the Vatican.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


Cheryl Cole’s X Factor Snub Is A Cynical PR Lie: And We Love It

CHERYL Cole was dropped from the US X Factor because her accent was too thick for Americans. Yeah – those are the same Americans of whom seven out of ten can’t pronounce the name of her replacement Nicole Scherzinger and would buy a gun made of processed cheese.

Well, that’s the PR. And the PR is now in full overdrive, spinning the story of how an overrated pocket-sized Geordie with a decent punch went to America and came home.

And Cole’s return is great news for us. Really, it is. It is! According to the Daily Star’s front page, Cole has been detailed to “save the UK X Factor“.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 27th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


David Charlton Is The Hero Of Strangeways

DAVID Charlton is the star of Strangeways, the TV documentary about the Manchester prison. The governor Richard Vince has a belief:

“It is my belief that with very few exceptions, people have the capacity to change and improve themselves.”

All of them? Even the ones who might be mentally ill, or so stubborn that they refuse to bend?

Of course the camera corrupts what it sees. But whereas the American versions of real-life prison shows focus on the menace and the violence, Strangeways lets the action roll, broadcasting with minimal visual grammar the drab quotidian horror of life at rock bottom.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 26th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


Why Cheryl Cole Was Dumped Off The US X Factor

WELCOME home, Cheryl Cole. News is that the “nation’s sweetheart” is no longer a judge on the US X FActor, having been replaced by with Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls, who was the show’s hostess.

According to TMZ, the new panel of pap features only one Brit, that being showbiz eyeball licker Simon Cowell. He shares the bench with L.A. Reid, Paula Abdul and Scherzinger.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 26th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (6)


Cats And Dogs Signal The End Of The World Is Nigh

MORE signs that the end of the world is nigh: The cat likes water:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 25th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


BBC Admits Detector Vans Never Used In Court: The Best Licence Fee Scare Videos

DID you know that the BBC has never – NEVER – used detector vans to prove to the courts that the accused has been watching the telly without a TV licence? Well, it is true. The TV Licensing blog has news:

The revealing Freedom of Information Act response came after the BBC u-turned on their earlier decision to withhold the information under the law enforcement exemptions of the 2000 Act.

In their revised response, issued after an internal review found in our favour, Beeb Kiwi lawyer Dan McGregor says the following:

“I can confirm that TVL has not, to date, used detection evidence in Court.

“You may be interested to understand why this is the situation. Under TVL’s current prosecution process the presentation of detection evidence in court is unnecessary. This is because TVL uses detection evidence when applying for search warrants. If, following service of the warrant an individual is found to be evading payment of the TV Licence, then the evidence obtained via the search warrant is used in court, not the detection evidence.

“It is worth noting that search warrants are only issued at the discretion of a magistrate (or sheriff in Scotland) in accordance with strict legal requirements. Detection evidence would be carefully considered by the magistrate (or sheriff in Scotland) during the warrant application process.”

“It does, of course, remain open to TVL to use detection evidence in court whenever it wishes in the future.”

Given the fact they haven’t used it so far, in the fifty-odd years the shit-scary (not) TV detector van has allegedly been in existence, it’s pretty unlikely they’ll be changing that habit.

Autonomous Mind wonders:

The question is, does the BBC refuse FOI requests by default?  After all, how could the BBC justify refusing that FOI request in the first place? How could they possibly determine their exemptions from the Act applied to this?

Them:

And:

TV LICENSE INSPECTOR from Toni Hiltunen on Vimeo.

Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


TV Baftas 2011: The Only Way Is Essex Gives YouTube A Winning Face

ANORAK presents the British Academy Television Awards winner – each holding a line-free metal face. For obvious reasons, The Only Way Is Essex cast were presented not with an orangey metal face – which only would have made the gong look like a decapitated extra (hold that thought) – but a white glassy one, offering us a kind of Amy Childs before and after shot.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


British Academy Television Awards 2011 Photos: Amy Childs Chocolate Box TOWIE

TO the British Academy Television Awards 2011 at London’s Grosvenor House, 90 Park Lane, London (turn left at the footballers’ suite). Anorak’s eyes were drawn to Amy Childs, leading light (literally) of The Only Way Is Essex (aka TOWIE). Childs had come dressed as an entire tray of Ferrero Rocher chocolates with an orange tic-tac filling. We’ve got photos of that wonderment, and photos of the winners, including a metal face statuette for EastEnders, which is no longer a soap but the country’s best Continuing Drama. Oh, darling, you are not worthy…

10797590

Image 1 of 12

Amy Childs arriving for the Philips British Academy Television Awards at the Grosvenor House, 90 Park Lane, London.

Posted: 22nd, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Chicks Fight Over Worm: This Year’s Must Have Toy

WORMS. Hours of fun for the kids:

Posted: 22nd, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Haunted Van Reverses Into A Parking Space (Video)

IN this video the haunted van will attempt to reverse into the parking space. It misses. It tries again. And again…

Posted: 21st, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Read This And Complain About Glee Spoilers As We Tell You Who Dies In It

SPOILER ALERT! Hello Gleeks. Still getting over the news that your stupid favourite programme won’t be shown on free-to-air television anymore? You didn’t hear about it? You were probably buried in a series of joyless, android sung pop-covers with more harmonies that completely necessary.

Well, worse news is that someone is going to die in it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Dr Cassette’s Review Of 2010: Because On May 21 You All Die

DR Cassette’s 2010 review is must-see TV. We bring it to you again in light of the news that the rapture will occur on May 21 this year and most of you will die six months later.

Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Greatest Marriage Proposal EVER!!!?

IS this the greatest marriage proposal ever? They always said they’d be making movies together. (Hey, wash your mind out – this is lurve)….

Spotter: Karen

Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Martin Short’s Tribute To Osama bin Laden: Bastard In The Sand

HAVING gotten over the shock that Martin Short is alive and working, the actor is on David Letterman’s TV show singing a song for Osama bin Laden in the manner of Elton John John’s tribute to Princess Diana. This is Bastard In The Sand, a song written in haste to hit the spot while the news of bin Laden’s death is high on the media news cycle. It makes you hanker for Tom Lehrer. But, still, it does a job:

Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Little Dmitri Medvedev Meets Littler Dmitri Medvedev In Dance Off

ANORAK is always on the look out for the next big thing in world statesmen. And we think we’ve found Russia’s next Dmitri Medvedev…

For those of you missed it:

Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


After Fox Hunting, Beagles Learn To Catch A Ball (Video)

WHAT do you do with a beagle no longer allowed to chase a fox on behalf of the chickens? You teach it to catch…

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


N-Dubz Tulisa To Take Dannii Minogue’s Place On X Factor

BRITAIN at large is transformed when The X Factor rolls into town. Basically, the whole country is carved up into two camps – those that hate the show and those that don’t watch it.

It’s all going to become more rampant too, as the show is being launched in the USofA who won’t know what’s bloody hit them once it all kicks off. American Idol is going to look like a gentle stroll through a tumbleweed factory by the first week of Simon Cowell’s dastardly, engrossing brainchild hitting the small screens.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Deer Eats A Live Bird: Peta Confused

IN this video the deer will eat a live bird.

You want a portent of dooom. You want to confuse Peta? You want meat?

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Man Licks Shoes Clean On New York Subway: New Standards In Elegance

IN this video, the man on the New York subway is cleaning his shoes. It is all about standards, readers. Shiny tongue – shiny shoes. It’s the stuff on which the British Empire was built…

Spotter: Arbroath

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


The British Soap Awards 2011 In Photos: The Shaggable Take On The Mentally Negligible

THE British Soap Awards pits the shaggable against the non-shaggbale, and EastEnders againt Coronation Street. This year EastEnders was crowned the Best British Soap.

The only people who should watch these televised AGMs are viewers who actually think that what they are watching is real and London’s grim east is a dystopian nightmare where Shane Richie is the light relief, and not because he plays the role of the jokey blokey sort, but because he appers to actually think he’s acting.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Dannii Minogue Is Despatched To Simon Cowell’s Colonies

BIG news form telly land is that X Factor Judge Dannii Minogue is no longer X Factor Judge Dannii Minogue, having been replaced by N-Dubz’s front woman Tulisa.

Says “devastated” Dannii:

“I am so disappointed that I can’t be a part of The X Factor this year.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment