Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 78

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Young Boy Saved From Falling Off Escalator: Catch Of The Day

CATCH of The Day is enacted by the shopper who saved a four-year-old boy from tumbling to his death at a Turkish shopping mall.

Look on as the boy is playing on the escalator. His hand gets stuck on the handrail. He can’t get off – until he reaches the end. Behind him is what appears to be a blind man. He is doomed.

But then… – Because of someone called Jones (see below) here’e another version:

Posted: 26th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (6)


Happy Birthday Mukhtar, The Danish Bus Driver: Flash Mob Surpise

ON May 5th it was Mukhtar birthday. He’s a bus-driver in Copenhagen. Flashmobs are by a rule annoying tossers who crave organised ritual. But sometimes it can be touching:

Posted: 24th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Britain’s Got Talent Full Report: Corey-Sean Is The Ladyboy Gaga

-Sean Williams is vying with them to be the UK’s lady Gaga. He’s on Britain’s Got Talent. He’s the 18-year-old Lady Gaga – and Beyonce – impersonator. And he’s looking for his mum:

“Finding my mum would be even better than winning the show – just to have my mum and someone who loves me.”

Corey-Sean has the name, the background story and the act. But Julie has the X factor. All hail Julie, this season’s Susan Boyle.

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Posted: 23rd, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Virgin Mary Beheaded In Church: Video

THE Virgin Mary has been beheaded. Into the church she comes, held high on a plinth. The nuns look on. the men wait. They pause. Then they toss her to the floor and lob off her head.

Not to worry, though, the Virgin Mary has many heads, as our gallery shows…

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JESUS of The Day belongs to young Austin Coleman, of Phoenix, Arizona. He found Jesus on his thumbprint. Says he: “I got a little freaked out.” Can you cope with the wonder...

Posted: 23rd, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Lost Ending Pinata: The Stolen Tapes Revealed

LOST ends tonight. Or does it…? The show that began as drama and ended up as a celebrity travelogue reaches its finale at 9p this Sunday night. Right now the writers are working out what the hell to do, and getting bak those stolen tapes. You know, those tapes that contain the truth?

Anyone interested in being up with the buzz, like this chaps, are watching 121 episodes back-to-back in their institution.

Lost is a victim of its own popularity. Had this been a show that failed to score a big hit the finale could have been a rubbish packet of warm fudge.

The writers create the show they like; and the fans demand a pay off. But the writers don’t have the killer clincher. They just have a show, a TV thing without end.

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Posted: 21st, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Man Swallows Fly: NBC’s Mark Potter Has Breaking News

BECAUSE the media loves nothing more than talking about the media and how important it is, here’s NBC correspondent Mark Potter in Louisiana to report on the BP oil spill for the Today show and to illustrate the story “Man Swallows Fly”.

Back to the studio for a heated debate…

When Animals Attack: Pictures Of Animals Going For People

Posted: 21st, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


When Bambi Attacks: Deer Mauls Man

BAMBI was the child star who grew up bitter, too old to look cute and not ready to be a piece of meat in some sick Mexican sideshow.

He turned his back on showbiz and went to live on the Benji Refuge a refuge in Arizona.

Flipper, Cheetah and Skippy are all there.

And they don’t take too kindly to visitors.

Posted: 17th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (13)


Britain’s Got Talent: Josh Barry, Ice, Marlene From Bournemouth And Twist & Pulse’s Bean Soup

IT’S Britain’s Got Talent, and time to check up on tonight’s agonists competing to remind the Queen why she has Sky Plus. Time, then, to meet teenage dance troupe Ice. From Rotherham.

Says dance teacher Nikki:

“Ice was formed to help the children get their confidence and hopefully to believe in themselves.”

And if they can get on the telly, so much the more confidence boosting. But only if they don’t stay to watch Ashley and Glen, aka Twist & Pulse. Says Glen:

“We’ve been training and preparing for this day for weeks and weeks and weeks in our kitchen.”

It’s dance and comedy in one. It’s bad dancing or bad comedy in one. It cannot fail. And with a name like Twist & Pulse, they make a terrific bean soup.

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Posted: 15th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Wheelchair Fan Invades Football Pitch: Video

TO Saltergate for a match between Chesterfield v Bournemouth. A goal! A pitch invasion!! A wheelchair pitch invasion!!! Next up the wheelchair streak…

Posted: 13th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


7-Year-Old World Weary Skanks Do Beyonce’s Single Ladies On Dance Show

AT the World Of Dance Competition we got a glimpse of the Brave New World. This is how empires are brought to their knees, by five seven-year-old girls dancing to Beyonce’s Single Ladies. It’s all good, wholesome, family fun, or a marriage auction for the pre-teen market? You decide.

Warning: Anorak accepts no responsibility if watching this video means your name ends up on some kind of Government register nor take a job working in a fun fair.

As TP says:

But these bishes will be laughing all the way to the candy store once Robin Antin signs them.

Posted: 12th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Alligator Mauls Handler: Crowd Demands More (Video)

TO the Cotee River Seafood Festival, where Jeffrey Quattrocchi is poking an alligator with a stick. He is grabbing the gator’s tail. The gator pokes Mr Quattrocchi back with his teeth.

The crowd goes wild. Where’s the danger if the handler doesn’t get bitten? The ancient Romans knew how to entertain a crowd. Animal shows could learn a lot from them.

Mr Quattrocchi has surgery. the gator gets to perfoms again with Mr Quattrocchi in a show that will have them flocking in their thousands…

Posted: 12th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Indian Call Centre Workers Serenade Callers With Queen And Kill The Musak

IN our second Freddie Mercury story of the day, our attention is drawn to this Indian lady singing Queen’s We Will Rock You.

One day they will do away with musak and anyone on hold to a Mumbai call centre will be met by singing and much entertainment.

Holding on will be the new going out…

Posted: 11th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Sony Radio Awards: BBC Wins And Loses And Frankie Sanford’s Washing Tattoo

Sony Radio Awards: FRANKIE Sandford’s harness tattoo says “Sunshine and Showers”. Is this a promise to anyone reading the thing up close as they take it to “Maidenhead” with Amanda Holden?

At the prize giving, BBC 6 Music and BBC Asian Network won three gold Sony Radio Awards on Monday night. Yep, the two stations the BBC has earmarked for closure. Oh, how terrifically embarrassing for the Beeb.

Well, not really. Aside form the Rising Star award, which is voted for by the public, the other gongs are voted for by judges appointed by the Radio Academy, including Radio 1 controller Andy Parfitt and former Blur bassist Alex James. Yeah, a radio awards show that voted for two earmarked-for-the-chop stations to win top prizes. What are the odds, eh?

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Anna Ford arriving for the Sony Radio Academy Awards 2010 at the Grosvenor House Hotel, London

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Posted: 10th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Knives Are Out For Britain’s Got Talent’s Myztikal Youth

BRITAIN’S Got Talent introduces Myztikal, a bunch of dancers from South London. Because South London is full of dragons, the tabloid story must comply with the legend. So enjoy this from the Sun

SIMON Cowell didn’t scare Britain’s Got Talent favourites Myztikal – they have to dodge knife-wielding thugs every day.

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Posted: 10th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Britain’s Got Talent: Kerry-Anne Boyle Is The Heiry Angel

THE new Susan Boyle is not Janey Cutler – the new SuBo is Kerry-Anne Boyle. Kerry-Anne is Boyle’s second cousin, albeit one she has never met.

The Mail’s Paul Revoir commands his readers:

Forget SuBo, meet TwoBo! Now Susan’s cousin stuns Britain’s Got Talent judges

“Stuns” soon becomes:

Kerry-Anne’s performance of Sting’s Fields Of Gold received a somewhat mixed response from the judges.

So, not stuns, then. Here gaping eyebrow wrangler and up the ‘Maidenhead’ shagger Amanda Holden:

“It is clearly genetic, you’ve got the Boyle factor.”

Translation: You’re fat and ordinary, like Susan Boyle, yet have made it onto the telly.

Says Piers Morgan:

“It was an incredibly good performance.”

Translation: You’re fat and ordinary and can still remember the words to a song.

Simon Cowell, without whom the show would be dire, says:

“I think that without the connection with Susan there wouldn’t really be much interest to be honest.”

But, still, she’s through…

Posted: 10th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


British Soap Awards 2010: Winners In Pictures

THE full list of the British soap Awards winner 2010 is in. The soaps up for gongs were: EastEnders, Coronation Street, Doctors, Hollyoaks and Emmerdale. The awards are picked by viewers, taking into account hormones and how much stock they put on crying over a dead or abusive partner, and hacks who want to be on the telly. The hacks are called a “panel of experts”.

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Michelle Keegan (left) and Kym Marsh arriving for the 2010 British Soap Awards at the ITV Studios, South Bank, London.

WINNERS:

Sexiest Male: Scott Maslen of EastEnders
Sexiest Female: Michelle Keegan of Coronation Street
Best Dramatic Performance from a young performer: Ami Metcalf of Doctors
Best Dramatic Performance by an adult performer: Lacey Turner of EastEnders
Best On-Screen Partnership: Jan Pearson and Christopher Walker of Doctors
Villain of the Year: by Larry Lamb, Archie Mitchell in EastEnders.
Best Newcomer: Marc Elliott of EastEnders
Lifetime Achievement Award: Betty Driver of Coronation Street, who’s been in the show since1969
Best Comedy Performance: Craig Gazey of Coronation Street
Best Storyline: EastEnders – Who Killed Archie Mitchell?
Best Soap Exit: Charlie Clements and the death by tomato ketchup of Bradley Branning
Special Achievement Award: Bill Lyons of Emmerdale
Best Actor: Scott Maslen of EastEnders
Best Actress: Lacey Turner
Scene Of The Year: Hollyoaks – The Parachute Jump.
Best Single Episode: EastEnders for the live transmission in February 2010.
EastEnders: Best Soap

Posted: 9th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (7)


2010 British Soap Awards: In Pictures, Tears, Boobs And Hormones

IT’S the British Soap Awards, the event where the woman who cried “No, Danny Dyer. No!” and/or Lacey Turner gets Best Actress, the one who bared more gets Sexiest Actor and the one who watched them all gets airlifted to the hospital through a hole in the lounge wall.

All the winners and loser

To the 2010 British Soap Awards at the ITV Studios, South Bank, London, Hosted by Phillip Schofield.

There are awards for Best Soap, Best Comedy Performance, Best Exit, Sexiest Male, Villain of The Year and lots more interchangeable awards that recognise that the voting public are driven by their hormones and those who vote are driven by their mums and dads to the school disco.

Look out for Gemma Merna ponting the way ahead with her chest, Loui Batley and Bronagh Waugh dressed as Maddona’s lace gloves from 1985 and lots of fine acting talent, as it says here…

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Michelle Keegan (left) and Kym Marsh arriving for the 2010 British Soap Awards at the ITV Studios, South Bank, London.

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Posted: 8th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Britain’s Got Talent: Janey Cutler Is Twice As Hairy As Susan Boyle

IT’S Britain’s Got Talent’s Janey Cutler. The Sun says Janey is “SuBo II”, an improved version of the hairy prototype. Cutler is hairier, owns more cats, has a longer-dead mum, was starved of oxygen nitrogen at birth and will be pastronised twice as much as the old version. Janey has “Don Not Resuscitate” tattooed on her ambitions. JaCu is gonna be huge.

Janey might never have been kissed but she does have seven children. Janey sings in the Glasgow auditions on the “same Glasgow stage on which SuBo, 49, made her mark – to a similarly bored reception from the judges”.

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Posted: 8th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (6)


Katie Price And Cilla Black Swing Into Benidorm: Great Pictures

ANORAK likes Benidorm, the sticky slice of Spanish costas as uprooted Brits fail to understand to be understood by the locals. Being filmed in the sun makes Benidorm enjoyable. These are holiday friends that you enjoy watching and spending a few moments with.

So, here comes Katie Price to play the role of a Felt-tip-faced chav with massive Jordan. It’s being billed as cameo role and much the same way that Hugh Grant plays cameos of foppish shaggers and Mr Kipling play a man who likes sponge fingers. Also on the show is Cilla Black. She plays and ageing swinger. No, not a young swinger. An ageing one.

The distinction is what sets actors apart from special guest stars…

Cilla Black with:

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The Beatles, left to right, Ringo Starr, John Lennon, and Paul McCartney with Cilla Black, second right, launch the new pop group 'Grapefruit' at the Hanover Grand, Regent's Street.

Jimmy Tarbuck, Bruce Forsyth, Milton Reid, Leslie Crowther, Terry Scott, Basil Brush, Sheila Burnette, Jonathan King, Lionel Blair, Roy Castle, Moira Anderson, Danny La Rue, Mirielle Mathieu, Harry Secombe, Faith Brown, Mike Yarwood, Ginger Rogers, Herb Alpert, Frankie Howerd, Des O’Connor, Cliff Richard, Sid James, Ringo Starr, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, the new pop group ‘Grapefruit’, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Petula Clark, Sandie Shaw, Jimmy Savile, Tommy Cooper, Frankie Vaughn, Gerry and the Pacemakers, George Harrison, Billy J. Kramer, Ray Jones of ‘The Dakotas’, Chris Curtis and Michael Pender of ‘The Searchers’ and Brian Epstein…

Posted: 7th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (16)


The Lottery Results From Poland: New Balls Please

ANd now for the Lottery in Poland. Grab your game cards. Last balls in the big fish tank win!

Posted: 6th, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


‘Soy Jism’ And Other Non Milks: A FOX News 5 Study

SHOULD the word milk be used for fluids that do not come from a cow, like soy milk. Should it be called something else instead – like, says, soy jism? Cue a heated debate on Fox 5 News…

Spotter

Posted: 2nd, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Cat Attacks Babysitter On Home CCTV: How We Live Today

IN How We Live Today, Anorak brings you this video of a pet cat attacking the babysitter, who has broken a glass. As you can see, the place is filmed from all angles. It’s CCTV at home with mum and dad.

Keep a close eye on that babysitter, worried parents. But – awe, shucks – isn’t the lunatic cat cute.

Then the video is uploaded for us to watch on the web. This is how you protect your kids. It’s good wholesome fun:

Posted: 2nd, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Britain’s Got Talent: Olivia Archbold In Angels, Pictures And Video

OLIVIA Archbold is the year’s big new singing sensation on Britain’s Got Talent. Olivia sings a song about angles. Olivia is not pragmatic. Olivia is 14. Olivia has a brace – so look out for tales of bullying and angst.

Sheesh – these shows make you cynical. But Olivia can sing.

She’s “shy” and “humble” says Piers Morgan. And if he can’t spot shy and humble who can? Simon Cowell’s second eyelids flicker yellow.

Look out for Olivia being hyped and pitied and hyped and pitied some more. She’s the new Susan Boyle. Hell, she’s the new Chloe Hickinbottom…

Posted: 1st, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Britain’s Got Talent: Justin Bieber, Susan Boyle, Connected, Harry Mondryk And Olivia

BRITAIN’S Got Talent – Anorak’s at-a-glance look at the TV talent show. It’s Newcastle. And its Olivia, Susan Boyle, Harry Mondryk, Clive And Claire, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber – and not Justin Bieber. It’s Connected.

So. Who will be the new Susan Boyle, singer of the best-selling album of 2009?

And do we need two of them? Will it be 13-year-old Harry Mondryk, who has now been on the show four times? Well… No.

Will it be singing schoolkid Olivia:

Judges on the show were wowed by a schoolgirl known only as Olivia, who gave a note perfect rendition of Sarah McLachlan’s ‘In The Arms Of An Angel’, earning her comparisons to Welsh child singing star Charlotte, who was dubbed the Voice of An Angel.

Says Boyle in the Mirror:

“When I look in the mirror I see that I brush up quite well. It’s a bit like a cygnet to a swan…Now, I see a sophisticated lady. Even though the outwardness has changed, inside I’m still the same, but now I’m a bit more refined in some ways.”

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Posted: 1st, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (11)


Mini Gymnastics At Queensland Raceway: Car Flips Over Fence Into Crowd

TO the Queensland Raceway where a mini is auditioning for the Olympics. It flips. It leaps. And it flies over the barrier into the crowd. Two people wounded,- but not seriously…

Posted: 1st, May 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment