Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 80

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Sophie Dahl’s Eton Whores And 9/11 Cricket

SOPHIE Dahl hs written Miss Dahl’s Voluptuous Delights. It’s a cook book to go with her cooking show. The Telegraph digests and features Dahl in conversation:

She wasn’t inhibited by having a celebrated literary grandfather, Roald Dahl, from writing her own books…

She’s made of solid stuff. But not of her food is:

Too much rosewater in the rhubarb Eton mess, she warns, produces an effect “like walking into a bordello”.

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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


BBC Radio 5 Live’s Nicky Campbell’s Epic Hunting Fail

BBC Radio 5 Live’s Mr Nicky Nicky Campbell is objective in his views on hunting and any breaking of hunting laws. Listeners, we deliver Mr Nicky Campbell:

nicki campbell 5 live

Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


England To Play China At Cricket, Live Grenades Ready

LISTEN up, cowboy. In today’s National Service Training Video we tell you how to toss a grenade. You toss a grenade..? Yes, you, madam, in the England whites and hooked hands. Yes, that’s right, you toss a grenade “far”.

In this video a Chinese soldiers tosses his grenade into the bunker wall. Problem is that he’s stood in the bunker.

Expect more such film in the coming months as China the world that it’s not all police brutality and weird growths and disgusting X-Rays:

Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Beyonce’s Single Lady Sparks Car Devastation

EVERYONE wants to be a Single Lady with Beyonce. “You can be a Single Lady if you want.” So says Mum. Mummy knows best. Mums have been creating single ladies for eons. Daddy wants more from his son. Shiloh Pitt understands.

Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Miodrag Gidra Stojanovic Beats Tiger Woods To Serbian Push Up Title

MOVE over Tiger Woods, make way for Miodrag Gidra Stojanovic. He holds the world record for ‘Serbian Push Ups”. Miodrag Gidra Stojanovic can thrust 50 in 10 seconds and 29,449 in 24 hours:

Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Pain: A Video Study

WHO needs Wayne Rooney to stamp on your goolies when you can make you own entertainment? Not that game lad:

Spotter: AttuWorld

Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


What The Daily Mail Sounds Like: A Song By Dan And Dan

EVER wonder what the Daily Mail sounds like? Anorak always thought it was the clack of marmalade-coated tongue hitting the roof of the Arkela’s mouth. What does spite and fear sound like? Surrey? It turns out it also sounds like Dan and Dan:

Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


ITV Fighting Robot Show Imitates The Simpsons

A NEW ITV game show in the pipeline will feature contestants doing battle with big fighting robots.

The Daily Miror says ITV America president Paul Buccieri “absolutely fell in love with the show”. Says he:

“We are talking giant, massive robots that you control. It’s every kid’s dream.”

And also the 2D reality of Dan Greaney and Allen Glazier who wrote an episode of The Simpsons back in 2004. In I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot.

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Posted: 29th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Over The Rainbow Puts Graham Norton’s Bums On Seats

OVER The Rainbow is the TV talent show that’ll pick a winner to play Dorothy in a West End version of the Wizard of Oz from 20 hopefuls. This follows the success of the BBC’s other Lloyd Weber advertorials, a search for Oliver Twist (I’d Watch Anything) and a search for The Sound Of Music renegade nun (No Way To Stop It).

Now we can spend lots of weekends with Lloyd Webber. But the entire purpose of the thing is not to provide free publicity for Lloyd Webber, nor to allow the proles to glimpse live theatre without paying £50 for the privilege – and that’s just the parking. The entire purpose is to give Graham Norton the chance to follow up his line “You can still be Nancy” with “You can still be Dorothy”.

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Posted: 27th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


On Russia’s Version of QVC The Old Blade Sharpener Demonstration Fail

ON Russia’s version of QVC – QVCCCP – the wonderful Blade Sharpener Demonstration Fail is the go. Look on in wonder as with theses scissor sharpeners not only do you get a handy gadget but you ALSO get a man to switch the old crappy scissors for a new pair of blades that actually work.

Posted: 27th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


In Pictures: The Bill Is Killed Off After 25 Years Of Reality Policing

ITV has decided to axe The Bill, the show that used to show a fictional version of life in a police station and turned into a turgid soap where former EastEnders‘ jobbers went to go through the motions. It was supposed to reflect the copper’s life but with no sign of nicking celebs, it became far-fetched.

Ok, a few stars were showcased: Keira Knightley, in 1995, played Sheena Rose, a ten-yar-old with nicked coins; James McAvoy; David Walliams; knife criminal Sean Bean; Paul O’Grady played a transvestite; Kathy Burke was kidnapped; Chesney Hawkes sang.

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Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Finnish Morning News Anchor Kirsi Alm-Siira Presents…

THE week’s news round-up is brought to you by Finnish morning news anchor Kirsi Alm-Siira.

Vid Spotter: The Daily Wh.at

Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Meow Meow The Panda Bear Goes Nuts

TODAY’S polar bear news is hijacked by Meow Meow the angry panda. Once pandas where the big bears on the news agenda. Then the polar bears started sitting on ice and melting it to make them look small and hopeless.

The media lapped it up and the pandas were shafted. One a brighter note, with less gawping, the pandas have been shagging like Jesse James at a Tiger Woods pro-priest invitational and there are now millions perhaps billions of them.

Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Florizel Street: 50 Years Of Coronation Street Gets Its Own Show

FABULOUS tale in tonight’s Manchester Evening News of the struggle writer Tony Warren had to convince Granada Television his brainchild Coronation Street was a good idea.

The bosses at Granada were not at all keen and the original title Florizel Street almost had the series flushed like the similarly-named toilet cleaner.

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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Hit And Run: Woman Stopped By Police In China Hits Reporter

TO Guizhou, southern China, where a TV reporter is trying to break the big news story of a woman getting stopped by the traffic police.

The woman reacts badly.

The small news story becomes a bigger news story.

The lesson is that if you want to get on in TV, work with children, animals and woman getting stopped by traffic police.

The story ends with the driver getting a ticket for speeding and a fine for assault. The reporter gets her scoop…


Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Dancing With The Stars: Kate Gosselin’s First Class As Dovolani Takes Coach, Allegedly

WHEN Kate Gosselin and partner Tony Dovolani take to the floor of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars, he’s the one in charge,writes Rumor Rat.

But when the two of them fly back to her home turf in Pennsylvania, Kate takes the lead, sitting comfortably in the first class cabin, along with her bodyguard Steven Nield, while Tony has to fold up his dancer’s legs in the cramped quarters of a coach seat, a member of The Rat Pack has learned exclusively, and allegedly.

UPDATE: Mark Measures Mr. Dovolani’s agent writes:

I am Tony Dovolani’s agent. Your story is false and your source is bogus. Tony and Kate both travel first class.
Mark Measures

Rumor Rat reports that to rehearse with Kate, Tony has to make weekly trips to and from the Keystone State where ABC paid to build a dance studio in Kate’s basement.

And the inequities don’t stop there.

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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Renault Clio Verus Arclid Transport: Round 2

TIME for a follow up to that lorry driver training video in which a driver for Arclid Transport HGV finds a new way to increase a Renault Clio’s fuel efficiency without loss of power nor speed.

Rona Williams, who was behind the wheel of the Clio as it journeyed sideways along the A1(M) near Wetherby, West Yorkshire, says she thought she was going to die.

She pulled the handbrake and flashed her lights. And after around a minute the driver slows.

She lived. And another use for a nippy French hatchback was found…

Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Video: Crufts Bulldog Has Scrotum Tickled To Assume Noble Pose

HERE’S a video of a of dog fancier showing his bulldog at Crufts – and tickling his pet’s backside and scrotum.

The Kennel Club guidelines state that a Bulldog should “convey an impression of determination, strength and activity”.

How it does this is open to interpretation.

Some owners stick a plastic union flag in it collar or play the opening bars to the national anthem – others tickle its balls.

The dog responds buy looking chipper, noble and stirred…

Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Big Mouth Does Pilipinas Got Talent And Horses Die

PILIPINAS Got talent. The local versions of Ant ‘n’ Dec are in palce. The judges are seated. And then it gets weird….

Sing along – “I’m such an ***hole. Brrrrrr-uipp!” G Force is back…

Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Just A Book Dedicated To The NYC Subway Riders: The Bible Is Not The Koran

IT’S Just A Book features a god botherer reading the Bible aloud. (It is a Bible, right? It’s been a while.)

This video is for all of you who have had to endure the readings of a man who likes to say things out loud to quell the voices in his head. Next week, the same group and try it with a Koran…

Go on.

It’s just a book, right… Right?

Spotter: Cynical C

Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


How Many People Can Fit Into A Small Car?

HOW many people can you get in to a small hatchback car? The golden rule is that no-one gets left behind.

It works for the military and it works for East European labourers.

We counted them all in. And we counted them all out.

Posted: 12th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Paul Daniels Is Turning Into Alan Patridge: Video

PAUL Daniels is turning into Alan Patridge. He used to be on the telly. Your writer once saw him on stage. He performed a trick where members of the studio audience arrived on stage and sat on chairs. A touch from Paul’s hand and each was rendered unable to stand. Magnets? Magic? Maybe. Most likely it was Paul whispering: “When I tap you on the shoulder do not stand up.”

Posted: 11th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Teddy Bears Have Invaded Worthing Sea Front

TEDDY bears have invaded Worthing Sea Front. Cyriak spots the invasion and using his mobile phone camera records the antics. It only takes a few bad bears to spoil it for eveyone else.

No word yet from Kisscape, but as soon as the experts have spoken to us, we will speak with you.

In the meantime the advice is to shut your windows, lock your doors and rip the heads off your teddies.

Do this before we’re all stuffed…

Posted: 10th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


YouTube Shuts Down For One Night

YOUTUBE has shut down for the night. We now hand over to Pages From Google. This is how it will be. This is how it used to be:

If you like that, you’ll love this:

Posted: 9th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Michael Jackson’s Ghost Spotted In Role Of Tape

MICHAEL Jackson is not dead. Michael Jackson lives. Jackson live on in butter, sex aides, and sellotape. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the Tape-o-Jacko:

Michael Jackson Pre-1980

Michael Jackson 1980-1990

Michael Jackson 1990 -1999

Those Michael Jackson Tributes In Full:

The Comic Book

The Medical Michael Jackson Tribute Act

The Weirdest Michael Jackson Birthday Tributes

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Posted: 7th, March 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment