Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 82

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

John Terry Does Not Pull A Cockroach From His Ear: A Video

JOHN Terry knows it could be worse. You could have a live cockroach in your ear. No, not a slight on the venerable and charming Mr Max Clifford nor a slang terms for a novelty orifice sex move. This is a real cockroach. In a real ear. The doctor films his operation. The operation ends up on You Tube. The cockroach becomes a huge star and denies shagging John Terry:

Posted: 7th, February 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Weatherman Mania: Jim Kosek’s Scare Story Masterclass

JIM Kosek from Accuweather.com delivers the scare story masterclass – parts global warming, parts death ice, parts demented man run amock with clipbaord. Baltimore dies tonight!


Weatherman Freaking Out Over DC Snowpocalypse
by TheDlisted

Posted: 6th, February 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Straight Outta Clacton: A Video Reply

WHEN John Terry Meets Die Antwoord: Video, we wondered is Afrikaans rap could be bested? And then we met the The McDonalds Main Men, and heard their song Straight Outta Clacton:

All Characters & Actions Dipicted From Here On In, Even Those Based On Real People, Are Purley Fictitious, Any Similarity To Actual Persons In Purley Coincidental.

The Creators Of This Video Have No Direct Contact With Any Of The People, Brands Or Groups That Appear In The Picture And Do Not Wish To Give Them A Bad Image, This Video Was Prodcued Purely For Parodic Reasons.

Posted: 3rd, February 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


John Terry Meets Die Antwoord: Video

THIS is what the web is all about – introducing Die Antwoord, “Zef Side [Beat Boy] – the Afrikaans beat boy rappers.

Die Antwoord have a website. Thsi si what the ngland team will hear in their changing room as the South Africans get ready to kick the lather off of John Terry’s mob in the World Cup Final. And then take all the WAGs for a slap up feed on their remote hill-top farm.

Via Sophisticated Funk and BB

Posted: 2nd, February 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Sporting – Porto: Lurker Invades New Report: Video

THIS man wants to be on the telly at the Porto v Sporting match in Portugal. This man went to a class and was taught how to speak to a camera. Then another man who wanted to be on the telly took the fast-track scheme to fame and just appeared. he si anroak’s lurker of the week. Send us your lurkers. Video:

Posted: 2nd, February 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


The Stevie Wonder Cat Will Now Sing For You: Video

STEVIE Wonder is cat. Really. He is. In this video Stevie sings For Once In My Life, for your pleasures…

Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Nine Out Of Ten Cats Hate Exercise: Video

CATS. Exercise. Nine out of ten cats say exercise is for losers. One in ten has no friends and anxiety issues about being fat. Video:

Posted: 26th, January 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Gentlemen’s Br-Ass Band Buttock Symphony: A Keep-Fit Video

HEY, fatso. Yeah, you. This is the Gentlemen’s Symphony Brass keep-fit programme. And it’s on video. Order now and get free pair of white ankle socks, a leoptard and a packet of EZee-Wipes guantateed to wipe gym debris from all floor coverings (except green velor):

Posted: 24th, January 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


The Amazing Bus Jumpers Of Maidstone: A Video

COME see the amazing Bus Jumpers of Maidstone Chequers Centre. Gasp as the youngsters leap from a building on to a moving bus. Coo as the yongsters jump from the bus and land safely on the ground. No, this is not yet an Olympic sport – the necessary safety gear will not be ready in time. But if it were, Britain would take gold. (Do not try this at home etc.) Question: can you enter the Olympics and then the Special Olympics straight after?

Posted: 22nd, January 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Peter Pan Meets Pink Panther At the Greenport: A Video

TO GREENPORT’S production of Peter Pan.

This is what happens when you mix flying rigs with Greenport… Our 2009 production of Peter Pan went horribly wrong during the last five minutes of opening night. Thus ensued.

This is after a week with the flying professional. None of this is out fault. It was a mistake by the rig guys, and we were just tethered to the ceiling.

Lights:

spotter

Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


New York And LA TV Stations In War Of The Burning Logs

ANSWERING the question ‘What’s more wooden than the cast of Hollyoaks?’ are the KCAL-TV and KTLA TV stations. Anork’s Man in LA tells us:

A STATION in New York’s been doing it years… running video of a burning fireplace for much of Christmas morning.

Now the holiday tradition is going bi-coastal in a big way, with two different Los Angeles stations firing up competing fireplace flames on the holiday.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, December 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Israeli Puppy Poos On TV Show As Presenters Talk Shit

ON Israel 10 TV station, a puppy is doing a poo on the presenters’ big debate table. Gathered for a heated debate on scarves and other neckwear, the puppy of destiny considers the points in turn and makes its decision. There is then a huge heated debate about puppies on telly and whether shit is a post-modern expression of etc etc. and if it too soon to give it its own show. You’ll watch any shit on the telly:

Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Pet Animals, Especially Cats, Are Responsible For Nearly All Crime

PETS are responsible for nearly all crimes. It is a fact. Nine out of ten sex offenders had a dog when young, or wanted one. Seventy nine per cent of all burglars are cat lovers. And a whopping 99 per cent of Al Qaeda activists would – if God willed it – set up home and marry a parrot called Steve. Roll VT:

Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The X Factor Ventriloquist Choir Video

IN today’s edition of Terrible TV, we bring you the Ventrioloquist Choir, singing The Beatles in the style of the X Factor charity record.

In Hungry this is what they think Simon Cowell does – stick his magic hand up a few wannabes and put words into their mouths. He doesn’t. He uses strings. His is good clean entertainment. But this is how it used to work in the 1950s, in the Vienna reagion.

Choir Master: “You vant zo be in der chvoir, mein kinder? A-ha! Zer ist two ov you. John und Edvard…”

Blond Angel: “Yes, sir. It’s a journey. Vote for me!”

Posted: 30th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Always Blow On The Pie: The Best Police Video Ever

safer-communitiesYOU’VE got to love the police. You’ve got to – otherwise they take details and make your life a living hell. Only, kidding. Really. In truth, one thing leads to another and you end up drinking beer on a lawn with Barack Obama.

In this video from Down Under, Glynn is talking matters over with an officer of the law. He’s off up the road to buy a pie, “or something”.

Officer: 3 o’clock in the morning… you’re buying a pie from the BP station, what must you always do?

Glynn: I don’t know.

Officer: At 3 ‘clock on the morning that pie’s been in the warming off probably about 12 hours. It’ll be thermonuclear. Always blow on the pie.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Giant Spider Invades TV Studio

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Trust Me, I’m A Dad With A Goatee

OK, kids. I’m ready to trust you now…

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Jan Moir Tribute Video: Do The Yes

JAN Moir has her knockers. Hey, joke. As a women’s rights champion, I want to set an example to any impressionable young women who may want to emulate what they might see as a glamorous routine.

Of course, if you want a truly glamorous routine, you can join in with this musical tribute to Jan Moir. It’s the Yes Dance, and it answers a question: Was it us, Jan?

Stephen Gately Gives Jan Moir Her Susan Boyle Moment

How ‘Loathsome’ Jan Moir Buried Herself And Stephen Gately

Jan Moir’s Statement On Stephen Gately ‘Gay Bashing’ Article in Full

Stephen Gately’s Death Becomes A Tale Of Gay Sex, Homophobia And ‘Murder’

the yes dance
symmetry explorer
i do believe i came with a hat
gawker (timelapse)
there i fixed it
vikings

Via: Boing Boing

Posted: 17th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Gushers Make German Dancers Move Like A Worm Learning To Walk

ON today’s Terrible TV, we hear to Germany, where the kinder are being asked for their views on Gushers.

For each answer, the in-house dancers must perform an interpretation of the answer. Should the kids say, “Gushers make me feel like a worm learning to walk” the dancers will be top-ho.

Cue the video:

Posted: 16th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Panic Face King Turns Mass Murder Into Entertainment

panic-face-kingIN Japan, the local have fond a way to hasten the celebrity cull. While the UK and US  boast Dancing On Ice, Comic Relief, live theatre, Big Brother, Dancing With The Stars, airport scanners, America’s Got Talent, Ashley Cole and the Tony Awards, the Japanese have “Panic Face King”.

The would-be TV star told he is to star in a documentary about telephone scammers. Just after the interview begins, a sniper attacks, shooting dead everyone else in the room and giving the nascent telly star a heart attack and morbid fear of going out in public.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Fiji Meat Man Sings For You

THE Fiji Meat Man / that’s what I am / I’m proud of my job / I do what I can…

Brought to you by Gordon Brown HolidaysYes We Can… Have A Debate…

Posted: 13th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Ryan Giggs’ Yoga Class With Yogi Oki Doki

THE secret of Manchester United’s spinning top Ryan Giggs’ success is the fig roll, a yoga move inspired by Yogi Oki Doki.

In this class Yogi Oki Doki takes a chicken through the yoga ritual:

Posted: 6th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


TV Adverts – Pay $2 A Minute To Hear Something To Make You Cry

THIS is an early 1990s TV commercial in which you can pay $2 a minute to hear a story that will make you cry.

Or why not make a record of yourself reading the Daily Express aloud? Of course, things that are intended to make you cry often just make you laugh…

Spotter: Boing Boing and Filled with Chocolate Pudding

Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Tony, Pope Of The Church of Satan

INTRODUCING Tony, Pope Of The Church of Satan… Anton Szandor LaVey is the antidote to worry, the Church of Satan looks like a bit of a laugh.

“If it’s naughty, do it. Realise you’re doing something naughty and enjoy it.”

Old Mr Anorak is weeping:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Waiting For Godzilla: The Tree Walks

IT’S a tree in Japan, and it looks like Godzilla:

Posted: 20th, November 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comment