Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 85

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Three Fans React With Fury As Kevin Keegan Resigns

THREE days ago Anorak told you: “Kevin Keegan Sacked As Newcastle United Manager”

No chance, said the papers. King Kev was on his throne. He was lovin it, just lovin’ it at Newcastle.

Now three days on the media rushes to show the world that King Kev has abdicated and that the lachrymose Geordie fans are a-weepin’ and a-wailin’ more than usual.

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Posted: 5th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Big Brother: Dale Dates Chantelle Houghton And Wales Declares War On Rex

BIG BROTHER ends tonight, and the Daily Star, heat, OK! and Closer magazines look forward to some new fodder to stick atop the EU Celebrity mountain.

First up, we learn that “REX OUT TO DEATH THREATS”.

The Star says Rex is “public Enemy Number One In Wales.”

Whereas the rest of the UK fears Osama bin Laden, Noel Edmonds and the Hadron Collider, Wales concerns itself with a sarcastic chef.

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Posted: 5th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Plane Crash Telly: CelebAir Heralds The End Of Cheap Flights

THOSE ITV schedules in full:

TONIGHT: The end Of Cheap Flights

Then:

CelebAir – Celebrities, such as X-Factor’s Chico, Mica Paris, Bianca Gasgcoigne, Lee from Steps and Tamara Beckwith, do TWA(T) Air.

ITV charters a plane and uses it as a celebrity vehicle to transport celebs to Alicante and – for shame! – back again.

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Posted: 5th, September 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Nodding Heads: Sporting Insight On Sky Sports

SPORTING insight of the day, with John Solako, on Sky Sports:

“Still no goals, it’s 1-0 to Blackpool.”

More in-the-know punditry to follow…

Posted: 5th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Giving An Arm And A Leg For Shipwrecked

SHIPWRECKED is the show whereon teenagers are cast away on two islands in the Pacific Ocean and before films crews show that wherever Brits are they like to get drunk and bitch (shagging is all off camera).

The new series is auditioning, and the Sun’s puff piece says producers are keen to feature an amputee.

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Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


The BBC Underdoes Sarah Palin

SARAH Palin on the BBC, which is part of the media:

THE PAIN FOR PALIN. Sarah Palin(Did I mention she has a pregnant unmarried 17 year old daughter?) has given a wonderful speech at the RNC and the BBC are most unhappy about it. I caught James Naughtie being interviewed about it at 6.35am this morning on Today and all he could observe was that by Palin (Did I mention she has a pregnant unmarried 17 year old daughter?) going for Obama – the Chosen One – she now left herself open to attack by Obama. Seriously!! As if the orchestrated and frenzied attacks on Sarah Palin and her famly by the Dem attack dogs and their media chattels since last Friday were just political foreplay.

One thing about Palin – Obama’s almost disappeared…

Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


Big Brother ‘Fixed’ It For Rex

BIG BROTHER is “fixed”. Fact. The Daily Express says so.

Who knew that at the death of this season’s show, Big Brother would turn out to be about as authentic as Old Mr Anorak’s first wife’s passport.

And the Star has proof. Want to know what the proof is?

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Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Ulrika Johnson’s Chest

ULRIKA Jonsson, she of the time-share body,  is talking about, and on behalf of, her breasts on GMTV:

“So while all other women are having breast augmentations, I’m having corrective surgery.”

It’s the book of celebrity euphemisms. Ulrika’s breasts are tired and emotional…

Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment


This Warning: Fern Britton’s Son Could Join Gang

FERN Britton, she of the high-waited gastric band and This Morning TV show, says:

“I don’t have experience of a child in a gang yet, I might do, but I hope to God I don’t.”

Fern’s sons are 14-year-old Jack (naturally) and Harry (ditto). They live with mum in Homer Green Buckinghamshire, a no-go zone for police because there is no reason to go there.

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Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Big Brother: Mario And Lisa’s Reality TV Show

THERE’S an “orgy of sex and bullying” on Big Brother.

So says the Daily Star, which leads with a picture of Big Brother Jen standing boso-a-boso with Big Brother’s Steph.

But before the tag-team-bitchiness and bosoming can begin, news is that Lisa and Mario are to get their own reality TV show, an PG (Please God)-rated version of the Test Card.

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Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Jade Goody’s Intelligence Insulted And Jack Tweed In Court

MORE on the tabloids’ Brave Jade Goody:

Jade Goody has a form of cancer. The tabloids have dubbed her brave. Says Jade on GMTV:

“They did a belly scan and everything was fine, even my blood, so they said to me it was either a bad period or stress.

A kebab?

“In the end I began to feel really frustrated, like they were insulting my intelligence, I thought they thought I was being a hypochondriac and lying about it.”

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Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comments (17)


Sarah Palin Is A Nutter

SARAH Palin is a member of the NRA. No kidding.

But a nutter..?

Spotter

Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Barack Obama’s Virgin Birth

AND lo Barack Obama did come among them, the son of a white man and the son of a black man…

Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Big Brother Lisa And Mario Feel The Buzz

IT’S Big Brother uber milf Lisa Appleton and her Buzz Lightyear (The Middle Years) lover Mario Marconi.

Before we continue, Anorak would like to say that the world is divided into two groups: those who think people are staring at them because they are gorgeous; those who think people are staring at them because they are odd and have something stuck to their face?

Now back to the Star’s news that Lisa and Mario have been in “WIFE SWAP SECRETS”.

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Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Madeleine McCann: The Bill, Durham Police And Gary Glitter Is Paedos’ ‘Our Maddie’

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “Maddy cops vetoed Brit help offer”

But British police have assisted in the McCann case. No?

Portuguese police turned down an offer to help find Madeleine McCann from Britain’s most senior murder investigator, it has emerged.

Emerged?

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Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (508)


Peta Endangers Bears By Banning Guards’ Hats

YOU’RE not allowed to fight beardswith dogs, and very soon you might not be allowed to use bears as hats.

The Ministry of Defence is to meet with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) to discuss alternatives to the bearskin hats worn by guards at Buckingham Palace – hats worn since when Napoleon met his Waterloo.

If Peta gets its way, then very soon there will no uses at all for bears, and they will be slaughtered, or be forced to breed with German polar bears to make the much-fancied panda bear.

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Posted: 31st, August 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


McCain’s Ad For Strange Fruit: The Barack Obama Death Cult

JOHN McCain has anew advert.

CHANGE. cHANGe. The word ‘HANG’ appears over an image of Barack Obama.

A McCain ad aired on Fox News channel with the words “HANG” in the background along with a photograph of Barack Obama has sparked outrage after being noticed by a reporter at a local Fox television affiliate…

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Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comments (6)


The Coincidence Of Osama Bin Laden And Obama Biden

FOX says Osama. You say Obama. Fox says Bin Laden. You say Joe Biden.

Bin Laden. Biden.

Osama, Obama.

Let’s blow the whole thing up…

Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comments (8)


Big Brother: The Hardest Working Breasts In Showbiz

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

BIG Brother news and news that “NICOLE: BOOBS WILL MAKE ME £MILLION”.

Nicole Cammack’s boobs have some way to be the hardest working breasts in showbusiness, that title being shared by Jordans, but they are not without drive and ambition.

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Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


The Weatherman’s Number One Fan

“I WATCH you all the time”. A weatherman meet his No.1 fan:

Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Big Brother: Gazza, Nicole And Rex

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

IT’S “Big Brother Nicole”. She wants to tell us about: “COCAINE, GAZZA AND ME.”

Given the PR dive to make whiny Nicole appear interesting, Cocaine, Gazza and Me may well turn out to be the names of three Yorkshire terriers she once encountered on Hamstead Heath.

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Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


ABC News Uses The C Word

ABC news, bastion of US broadcasting, uses the C word:

Spotter: Ed B

Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Photojournalism, TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Gary Glitter Is Hiding: Want to Know Where?

GARY Glitter was on the runway last night. ITN news broadcast pictures of his plane, in scenes not witnessed since the PLO (Paedo Liberation Army) was in its pomp.

Would the plane explode in a fireball? Would Glitter’s hostages to media be allowed to disembark unmolested? Or would they be required to chant “Leader… Leader… Leader” and the plane taken to Legoland?

Kier Simmons, the youthful broadcaster was onboard. A honey trap? Possibly. But Simmons remained intact, and free to tell us that “YES” Glitter had landed.

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Posted: 23rd, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comments (17)


After the Olympics The TV Titles

“OLYMPIC DAMES,” announces the Mirror’s front page. Britain’s New Olympians are top be given titles.

“GIVE OUR HEOES A GONG,” says the Mail on its cover. Anorak senses a campaign, and one the Mail has every chance of winning (see Mirror).

Titles for one and all. And to go with the medals and ribbons, a valuable spot in the TV titles.

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Posted: 23rd, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Big Brother’s Stephanie McMichael Steals Fame

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

“BIG BRUV STEPH IS ATTACKED IN STREET.”

Grim news on the Star’s front page is that “sexy” Stephanie McMichael has been the victim of muggers following a night out in London’s venue of strumpets, Chinawhite.

And no surprise whatsoever to learn that the felons stole her mobile phone. You know, the one with the names of all her celebrity chums on.

“Now the babe fears for the security of her celeb friends as their contact details are stored on her phone.”

How the likes of Keith Harris, Chico and DanLy – “the world’s third best Kylie and Danni Minogue impersonator” – must be hoping that their phones will ring.

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Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (3)