Anorak

TV & Radio

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Big Brother’s Stephanie McMichael Steals Fame

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

“BIG BRUV STEPH IS ATTACKED IN STREET.”

Grim news on the Star’s front page is that “sexy” Stephanie McMichael has been the victim of muggers following a night out in London’s venue of strumpets, Chinawhite.

And no surprise whatsoever to learn that the felons stole her mobile phone. You know, the one with the names of all her celebrity chums on.

“Now the babe fears for the security of her celeb friends as their contact details are stored on her phone.”

How the likes of Keith Harris, Chico and DanLy – “the world’s third best Kylie and Danni Minogue impersonator” – must be hoping that their phones will ring.

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Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


BBC Is Pro Obama

AS he notes:

WHEN BAD NEWS IS NO NEWS. I was looking at the BBC’s coverage of the US Presidential race and was ..ahem..surprised to see no coverage of the latest poll in the States giving McCain a 5 point lead over the Chosen One. Happily, the BBC’s poll still shows Obama in the lead.

Source

Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


John Prescott On Jodie Marsh On Class

THAT’S John Prescott licking the face of the Jodie Marsh biscuit on the Express’s cover.

Says the headline: “Don’t fret Pauline! I’m just discussing class with this young lady.”

She’s Jodie Marsh, the strumpet who once invited music television viewers to take her “up the aisle”. It’s “2 Jags Meets 2 Jugs,” observes the Sun, and readers are left to wonder which of Prescott or Marsh has the larger bust and the bigger “parking space”.

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Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Everybody Hates Big Brother’s Nicole

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

BIG Brother’s Nicole is the “MOST HATEED HOUSEMATE EVER”.

So says the Star which is specialist is matter of hating Big Brother housemates.

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Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (16)


Steph Fakes It For Big Brother’s Rex And Nicole

“BIG BROTHER REX AND NICOLE ARE FAKE,” says the Star.

Fake is just about the worst insult a reality TV agonist can have leveled at them.

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Threats To X-Factor Judges

DANNII Minogue has “fled an X Factor audition after being threatened by a reject’s entire family”.

If anyone should know how a family member’s success can affect the rest of her clan it is Kylie’s sister. So what happened?

The Mirror says the rejected wannabe and his family “lay in wait to corner the show judge”. And rearrange her rearranged features?

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Kite Surfing Tropical Storm Fay

FORT Lauderdale local Kevin Kearney is in hospital after attempting to kite surf in Tropical Storm Fay. He’s American. See this:

Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Jade Goody Victim Of Sick Indian Big Brother Stunt?

JADE Goody has cervical cancer. Or as the Economic Times of India puts it: “Jade Goody detected with cancer.”

If there was one area of Jady Goody’s life yet to be exposed it was her cervix. But now that gap in her CV has been plugged.

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Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (39)


Poppa Dumb: Shilpa Greets Jade Goody In India

JADE Goody is to enter the Big Brother house in India, slowing the local that there former colonial overlords have evolved from the stiff-upper-lipped, subjugating and jingoistic ninnies of old to something altogether less pleasant.

Shilpa Shetty, aka Shilpa Poppadom, who encountered Goody The Hoody on Celebrity Big Brother is now retuned to “where she come from”, as Danielle Lloyd advised.

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Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Fixing It For Big Brother’s Rex Newmark

“BIG BROTHER FIXES IT FOR REX,” announces the Daily Star on its front page. Above the headline is a picture of a grinning person holding aloft a medal.

Might this be Rex, and might he be holding his Jim’ll Fix It-style gong, albeit awarded by Big Bother? Did BB fix it for Rex to go on live telly for the entire summer and engage in some competitive sarcasm?

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Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Big Brother 9: Stuart Donkey Punch’s A Guinea Pig

WANT to see Big Brother’s Stuart Pilkington “EXPOSED”.

He’s done interviews, loadsa interviews, but this is his first “REAL INTERVIEW”, and its in the Star on Sunday, where “real” is not a four-letter word, unlike in some other papers (you know who you are).

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Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Scorched: The Bad Plot To Make Sydney Burn

IN Australia, Sydney is burning in a global warming nightmare made true:

Scorched is a major new 90-minute tele-feature and multi-platform drama for the Nine Network and ninemsn set in a climate change ravaged Sydney in 2012.

After 240 days without rain, the city has only two weeks water left. When the city is then ringed by severe bushfires, the question becomes, how do you fight fire when you have no water?

The picture on the left is of Sydney…Harbour…

Spotter

Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Ginger Spice: Big Brother Rex Sex Hex

PSST! Wanna see a ginger chef with a bouffant and a neat line in sarcasm getting off with a wet blanket?

The Star gives its readers a peek of “BIG BROTHER REX’S LIVE SEX SHOW”…

Look now to ensure disappointment…

Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


TV Rapist Hunt

DO you know this rapist?

Spotter: Jay

Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Photojournalism, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


BBC Cover Obama In 472 Person Conference Call

GORDON Bown is on holiday dressed in a hair shirt and Comfi-Slax, promenading with his good lady wife for five minutes and fifteen seconds of air of the most bracing sort. But the BBC won’t show you that. Because:

It was the mother of all conference calls. No fewer than 472 BBC staff were hanging on the telephone 10 days ago to discuss its coverage of the upcoming US party conventions. Yet more ammunition for those who say the BBC has lavished too much attention on the US elections already.

So many staff sharing one phone call is shaming. Guido Fawkes pulls on his Daily Mail hat and says this occurs: “Because there is no serious budget control, no profit motive and unlimited access to funds courtesy of a feudal taxation system to the benefit of the broadcasting barons.”

Or it might be because there are budget controls and 472 staff on one call is cheaper than enabling them to meet in a venue, the staff are cheap and, yes, the BBC is a junket…

Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


Speaking For Big Brother’s Dale And Jen

THE big news is that Big Brother’s Jen and Dale “speak only to the Daily Star”.

Of course, Jen and Dale have no need of speaking to each other, because they are too busy having sex. Star readers can learn of: “We were up until dawn; Sexy breakfast in bed; Secret of BB shower romp.”

The rest of the world will need diagrams, CCTV footage and a cut-out-and-paste picture of Jen holding her bosoms and shots of Dale with his mouth agape…

Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Big Brother 9: Up Jen And Down Dale

AS the Ninth Rule Of Big Brother states:

Evicted housemates should seek out a former housemate and declare that they fancy them and have had sex all night long.

So to today’s compliant Star’s front page, where readers learn that newly evicted Dale (the one who can’t breathe with his mouth closed) and past evictee Jennifer are in “LUST”.

Inside and Dale is up for a “sex fest”. Or as Dale puts it:

“I was ready to go. I was missing my friends and family.”

Such is the lust…

Posted: 9th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Beijing Olympics Quote Of the Day: Huw Edwards’ Burning Footprints

2008 Chinese drummers are calling up the ancestors on BBC TV. Live!

They are drumming on Arks of the Covenant. The terracotta army will come to life and kill us all.

Fireworks. More smoke. Or smog, as we must call it.

Fireworks creating “burning footprints“.

Burning carbon footprints.

Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Big Brother 9: Rex Newmark And Nicole No Mark

“BIG BROTHER REX GETS THE BOOT,” announces the Star on its foremost page.

“Sexy Steph spells end for randy chef.”

Steph rhymes with chef. And that’s good enough for the story to be front-page news. But there is more.

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Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Police Log: Robbers Robbed And OCD Victim Gets Clean Away

POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…

Clean Up The Community:

A woman has been let off her community service order imposed for handling a stolen mobile phone because of her obsession with cleanliness.

Llandudno magistrates’ court heard that 18-year-old Emma McNicholas was worried about working in a charity shop because of second hand property. North Wales probation service accepted she had obsessive compulsive disorder.

District judge David Webster was told there was no other work available that would not involve cleanliness issues.Defence solicitor Chris Dawson said she had failed to pick up litter previously because of her situation.

Robbers Robbed:

Robbers who stole diamonds valued at £217,000 from a jeweller’s shop were foiled by shoppers who removed the keys from their getaway car.

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Posted: 6th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Learning To Yawn With Joanne Good And Paul Ross

RADIO link of the day…

“You know yawning..?”

 – The Radio London Breakfast Show with Joanne Good…and Paul Ross.

Posted: 6th, August 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Indiggo Makes Four Cheeky Girls

LEMBIT Opik. Call Lembit Opik.

After the Cheeky Girls, comes Indiggo, two Romanian identical twins who wear very little clothes, sound like a cat being backcombed by Anthea Turner’s teeth and want to be fay-mooose.

One’s called Gabriella and the other’s called Michaela.

Both are on America’s Got Talent.

Call Lembit Opik…

Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Vegas And Bust: Big Brother’s Luke And Rebecca Marry

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

BIG Brother’s Rebecca Shiner and her Barry George wannabe Luke Marsden are to marry in Las Vegas.

They are vey much in love, and to prove it Luke is pictured on the Star’s front page groping his paramour.
Inside, and Luke is pulling down the top of Rebecca’s shimmering dress and peeping within.

After yesterday’s pictures of Luke touching up Bex in the bath, her on top of him, and them in a glutinous frot, Anorak is watching the bookshelves for “The Joy Of Bex – A guide to sex in public”.

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Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Mr Amy Winehouse Blake Fielder-Civil To ‘Star’ In Soap Opera

THE internet soap opera The Secret Life Of Sam King is to feature a character based on Blake Fielder-Civil, Mr Amy Winehouse, says the Star.

The role is: “Not your typical drug-dealer. Probably looks like a DJ or musician.”

Or, to open the auditions up a bit: Not your typical DJ or musician. Probably a drug dealer.”

Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Big Brother 9: Luke Buffs Up His Shiner

BIG Brother Luke and Bex are talking over each other shoulders to the Daily Star. They are the “BIG BONKERS”.

Says Luke: “She tore me apart like a wild animal off the Discovery Channel!”

Before the mauling, though, Bex makes sure her mate is clean, by bathing with him and encouraging him to use his hands as a makeshift bra, to save spare her blushes and ensure compatibility.

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Posted: 4th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)