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Bonkers As Conkers

by | 29th, July 2002

”’WHAT’S Forbidden,” reads the headline above a list that will strike fear into the hearts of traditionalists everywhere.

With marbles banned, the kids had to use rocks of crack instead

”The following pastimes have been banned in some British schools,” announces the Mail, above a list that includes handstands, making daisy chains, playing in bushes, crabby (”moving around on all fours”), conkers, playing with leaves, marbles and hide-and-seek.

Of course, if these pastimes have indeed been banned then that is to be deplored.

But – with the obvious exception of the Big Brother house, where hide-and-seek still rules – is there anywhere in Britain where anyone would want to do any of the above things?

Even in the most time-warped Daily Mail household it is hard to imagine Dad tapping his pipe sharply on the heel of his shoe and saying: ”Listen up, kids! Let’s have a game of crabby!”

And if he did, we doubt that the response would be an enthusiastic, ”Yes, let’s!”

And as for making daisy chains, well, wasn’t it precisely that sort of thing that led to Quentin Crisp and his sort grasping the reins of power in the 1960s?

Sometimes, it seems, progress can be for the better. Now, please excuse us, it’s time to download a new S Club ring-tone…



Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink