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Anorak | Taylorphilia

Taylorphilia

by | 5th, August 2003

‘IF Phil Taylor had married a former Spice Girl and worn her knickers would he be as big a star as David Beckham?

The Power

There used to be a theory about how if Emmerdale Farm, as it used to be known, was shown as often as Neighbours and at the peak time reserved for EastEnders, it would outperform all its soap opera rivals.

And since sport is so often played out on TV, it might be so with sportsmen.

Imagine if football vanished from the schedules and appeared only when the big tournaments were on.

An EU-backed government ban on sponsoring the game would make the advertisers and company sponsors seek out alternatives. And they’d surely turn to darts.

Phil Taylor, the best player on the planet – if no longer world champion (that honour goes to Canadian John Part) – would be elevated from arrow chucker to English hero.

Phil would travel the globe wearing his official darts shirt (available in Asda at a discount) and wow the crowds.

In this sanitised sporting world, where football fans are told to sit down by police and flag waving at a cricket match means instant dismissal for the waver, darts stands alone.

Fans of the sport are routinely shown in a state of alcohol-laced euphoria. More exposure for the sport would delight the sponsors no end.

The drink firms would be happy to see happy drinkers on TV and the cigarette manufacturers who sponsor Formula One will actually get to see their products being consumed.

Their delight would result in them investing money in the sport’s promotion.

Darts that double as cigarettes would be the must-have thing. No longer do you need two hands – with the Anorak E-Zee Dart, you can just light up and throw.

The one big obstacle to any of this becoming reality is Taylor. We need one of the former Spice Girls to make a move and take a chance on fame.

Phil promises that, if he does wear your knickers, he’ll wash them before returning them – although, given his dart player’s physique, he’ll most likely borrow your bra…



Posted: 5th, August 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink