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Cannon Fodder

by | 5th, August 2003

‘ALWAYS good to start with a story about whinging Australians. And today’s is called Brendan Cannon, a hooker for the Australian rugby union team.

Tiger Tim’s burning bright

Brendan is keen to prove that, in a recent game against the equally unlovely Springboks (won 29-9 by Australia), he was bitten on the shoulder.

For the record, Cannon has removed his shirt for the Guardian’s cameras and got a close male friend to point to the angry red weal on his right shoulder.

Another making a point is Alex Ferguson, who is seen shaking the hand of Ronaldinho in the Telegraph.

While we get to see the face of the Brazilian – who turned down a move to Old Trafford in favour of Barcelona – we cannot see Fergie’s red mush.

The initial impression is that it’s a handshake of friendship. However, further examination suggests something more complex.

Fergie is using one of those grips favoured by strict headmasters, placing his hand over that of Ronaldinho’s in a show of strength and perceived superiority.

Not that the Goofy one appears to have noticed. Footballers are typically not the sharpest tools in the box, an impression supported by an admission in today’s Times.

According to the paper, David Beckham has ‘admitted’ that he is not overly blessed in the English language.

He’s also having a tough time getting to grips with Spanish, making Becks illiterate in two languages. What he might call bisexual.

One of our other sporting exports is Tim Henman – and he’s been having some joy.

Following his triumph at the Legg Mason Classic earlier in the week, Timmy’s in Montreal for the Masters Series event.

The Telegraph says that Tim’s game has been improving of late, and that his latest tournament win puts him among the seeds at the upcoming US Open.

While we ponder whether Tim will win that Grand Slam for a few seconds, the Times has more football news, chiefly that Juan Veron is on his way to Chelsea.

Which passes for more football news, until the game proper begins very, very soon…



Posted: 5th, August 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink