Operation Harvest

‘WHAT was a lone terrorist or at most a small cell of operatives has become in the Mail’s eyes “The Illegal Land Army”.

‘Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb…’

Cunningly disguised as humble radish pickers - although this Army can blend in with any number of our domestic fruits and vegetables - this nefarious band is living on and off our land.

And they’re waiting for Operation Harvest, a time when what the paper estimates to be hundreds of thousands of foreign workers will burst forth like a ripe pomegranate and get to work.

The paper has seen a report by the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs select committee into the gathering storm, and it makes for a grim read.

The advice is clear. Wash all fresh produce free of any hint of foreign hand. This Army is both clever and devious and most likely that innocent pea has been sprayed with some mind-altering drug that will turn you into a fanatical Muslim.

And stop buying British. It’s not. It’s Latvian, Romanian and two parts Russian. Are Afghani strawberries really your cup of tea? Your cup of English tea!

The Mail has done her country a great service in bringing this alarming matter to light. It’s time to break up this silent Army in our midst. It’s time to buy French. The Mail would want it that way…’

Posted: 18th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink