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Anorak | All Pop And No Fizz

All Pop And No Fizz

by | 17th, December 2003

‘WE get the stars we deserve.

”I hope to do for pop what Vanessa Feltz did for journalism”

And what we deserve in this first decade of the 21st century are, as the Mail so eloquently explains, a 15-stone events manager from Glasgow and a “boring Brummie” from telesales.

And the even better news is that the Star has chosen not only to lead with this pair, the last competitors in TV’s Pop Idol talent show, but to tell us about their sex lives.

“NO SEX PLEASE, WE’RE POP IDOLS,” announces the paper’s headline, alongside a story about how Brummie Mark will put his wedding on hold if he wins the show and how Scots Michelle is “too busy to date”.

Forget about Mark – he’s too boring to think about; stick instead with Michelle, and wonder why she is too busy. Surely a future pop star is never too busy to get a fan in a clinch and give them a tour of the backstage area.

Well, this one is because Michelle’s mouth is not for smooching with her legions of admirers, but for eating. Oh, and for talking about food and her weight.

On the face of it, there is nothing odd in that. You can barely turn a page without hearing about how some pencil-thin pop strumpet’s weight is not the product of her vanity, but rather her quicksilver metabolism – she just loves to eat and only the other week devoured an entire mung bean.

The difference is that Michelle clearly loves food, claiming in the Mail to have eaten lots of junk food in the past and vowing never to go on some “broccoli and spinach diet”.

Over in the Express, she gives her reasons for staying as big as she is.

“Hopefully I’ve changed people’s opinions of what’s accepted and what’s not,” she says. “There are a lot of women who look like me and the pop industry needs variety.”

And change she has made. Already the Sun has a shot of goings on at a recent Enrique Iglesias concert.

The Latino singer was performing at a show in Florida when he “plucked” a fan from the crowd.

It’s not revealed how the rather scrawny Iglesias did this plucking, for he must have considerable hidden strength to have hoisted 17-stone fan Marisol Gonzalez from the mosh pit.

But whatever the method, the result is another blow in the crusade for equal pop rights for women with fast food and slow metabolisms…’



Posted: 17th, December 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink