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Anorak | Wasted

Wasted

by | 29th, September 2004

‘IT’S day three of “STAN: MY STORY” in the Mirror. Or is it day two? After a while the days seem to blur into one another.

‘Your carpark or mine?’

Anyway, Stan Collymore has checked into the Priory, and although he is there for depression, he has managed to have sex with two patients.

He acknowledges this is wrong, and holds his hands up like a good footballer.

The girls reckon he is a sex addict, but he disagrees. “There was another bird who wanted to shag me,” he admits, adding casually: “She told me I looked like her son.”

“I’d been in a mental hospital for two and a half weeks, constructing and deconstructing myself in smoke-filled rooms, pouring out my feelings, listening to harrowing stories,” Stan explains.

But suddenly he’s back in the real world at Aston Villa Football Club.

“Where the f*** have you been?” asks Gareth Southgate – or “nice, friendly, gentlemanly Gareth” as Stan ironically refers to him.

There was no support forthcoming from Southgate or even Paul “addicted to everything” Merson, who didn’t even manage “a bit of empathy”.

They regarded Stan as “a waste of time” – something the Mirror certainly can’t be accused of, with two double-page spreads and a column devoted to “the most explosive book of the year”.

Or at least, the most explosive book until the thoughts of Jade peeps excitingly out of our Christmas stockings.’



Posted: 29th, September 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink