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Anorak | Red Alert Sonia

Red Alert Sonia

by | 2nd, October 2004

‘SONIA’S not had an easy life – even by Walford standards. She’s had to watch her fiancée get run over and die, her entire family abandon her and give her daughter up for adoption.

It’s from the producer. He says: ”I’m going to have Sarah kill you, Martin and eveyone else”

Things are about to get a whole lot worse though when she discovers that her husband of three months has slept with a loony.

Stalker Sarah has tracked Martin down after their one night-stand and is determined to split up his marriage to Sonia. Because a lanky fruit and veg seller who’s done time for manslaughter is such a catch isn’t he? Actually in Walford, he probably is.

Sarah manufactured a fall right in front of Sonia so that they could meet. Sonia being the nurse in training and all round good egg that she is, insisted on Sarah going home with her so she could bandage her ankle.

Martin’s face upon stumbling across this cosy little domestic scene was an absolute picture – imagine someone had just stumbled upon Fat Pat in nothing but her earrings and a wanton grin you’d be getting close.

So far Sarah hasn’t told Sonia the truth but she’s enjoying torturing Martin by hinting to Sonia about her married boyfriend who, coincidentally, is also called Martin. “He’s going to leave his wife for me soon,” she wittered manically to Sonia as Martin made frantic arm waving motions behind her back. “Oh that’s nice,” replied Sonia absent-mindedly.

More sexual shenanigans in the Square as Sharontella and Dennis shared yet another snog. There was much lip and nostril-quivering from the orange one as yet again he told Sharon that they can “never be”. Sharon got her own back by flirting with a series of random strangers in The Vic. “Good on ‘er,” said Zoe, failing to notice that Dennis was smouldering in the corner, sending daggers over.

This week’s “comedy” storyline centred around the Miller twins playing a series of practical jokes on Garry – which tells you all you need to know about why Eastenders ratings are now their lowest in history.

Garry is convinced that the Slater house is haunted because the twins keep breaking in and moving things – how we laughed – or rather how we all switched over to Emmerdale.

A new Eastenders producer has been brought in to try and stop the rot and rumour has it that the Ferriaras, Dirty Den, Derek and Andy are for the chop. What a great Christmas present that would be.’



Posted: 2nd, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink