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Anorak | Ashes To Ashes

Ashes To Ashes

by | 15th, December 2004

‘APART from the binge sex and the binge vomiting, very little goes better with a bout of binge drinking than a night of binge smoking.

Marie was a big fan of the new B&H 1000s

The Express has seen a report by the European School Survey Project of Alcohol And Other Drugs (or ESSPAAOD ”PISSED” in Slovakian) and found that 29% of British 15 and 16-year-old girls are binge drinking, compared to 26% of boys.

Even allowing for the effects of talking up your drinking to impress your mates, this is pretty interesting news, and gets more so when we learn that a decade ago the figures were, respectively, 20% of girls and 24% of boys.

This means that around a quarter of today’s youth will live to a ripe old age, fortified and pickled in ten parts hooch to six parts vodka. Hurrah!

But only if they smoke will they live to be as old as the Sun’s Marie Ellis, who has recently died of heart failure at the ripe old age of 105.

It is however unlikely that Marie, or her ghost, will appear on a Government-sponsored advert to tell how the half a million fags she smoked

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Posted: 15th, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink