Burning Issue

‘REMEMBER when green issues were the cause celebre of the political mainstream?

”And I’ve even boiled Dad’s head with an onion to make a nice broth”

Don’t worry if you don’t, it was only a brief flirtation with saving the planet from the ravages of industry – and it pretty much went away when David Icke left the Green Party and discovered that lizard people were running the world.

But now it is making a tentative return to the great debate, and the Times reports that the Government has announced that it wants to halve the amount of mercury released into the atmosphere by crematoria.

It seems that even in death humans are capable of polluting the planet, and when burnt on the pyre our dental fillings release poisonous toxins into the atmosphere.

Body disposal accounts for 16% of mercury emissions in the UK, and under proposed new guidelines crematoria must install equipment to cut this output by half over the next seven years.

This will, naturally, create extra costs, leading to a hike of around £100 in the price for torching your loved ones.

While the price rise may not be enough to encourage relatives to make full use of their Agas and bonfires in ”home burnings”, dentistry may save the day.

The Times is of the opinion that our teeth are in better shape then they have ever been – which means fewer fillings in the funeral furnace and so less mercury released.

Add to that the difficulty of finding a dentist in the first place, and – hey presto! – it’s problem solved…’

Posted: 11th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink