Turkey Shoot

‘“ALL set for TV island Love-in,” announces the Mirror, as the tabloids gear up for today’s first episode of Celebrity Love Island.

”And when she got there, her nipples were bare…”

And in the now customary fashion, Abi Titmus and Co. are happy to use the good offices of the fourth estate to announce their social plans.

The Sun says that Abi and Rebecca Loos have already “stunned staff” at the hotel spa by “STRIPPING and FLIRTING outrageously”. And Fran Cosgrave promises – or threatens – a “foursome” involving himself, Loos, Titmus and Calum Best, son of celebrity drinker George.

Yet when it comes to shocking behaviour, they’ll be hard pressed to beat tonight’s other “reality” offering, The Farm.

This, you will recall, is the vehicle that introduced Loos into the world of celebrity freak shows last year, when she was shown “pleasuring” a pig.

This year’s offering looks all set to repeat the trick, and the paper is already foaming at the mouth over tonight’s episode.

“YUK!” it announces. “Outrage as turkeys are pleasured on farm.”

All the gory details follow, including Emma B’s offer to “suck”, and Lionel Blair’s excited comments about the prodigious quantities of semen involved.

Halfway through the article, Anorak’s correspondent had to pinch himself to check that he wasn’t in the middle of a particularly horrendous nightmare.

We here at Anorak do not usually find ourselves in agreement with Jamie Oliver, but if he is prepared to extend his campaign to include these particular Turkey Twizzlers, then we’ll be the first to sign up.’

Posted: 16th, May 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink