Ant’s Army

‘WHEN Andy Warhol made his comment that we’d all be famous for fifteen minutes, he was prescient but failed to foresee the impact of OK!.

‘How much talent?’

What was fifteen minutes is now fifteen pages. And this week it’s the turn of Anthony Hutton, Big Brother’s newest winner, to tell us what it’s like being TV’s latest creation.

So as not to get pigeon-holed as a one-dimensional talent, Anthony is billed as a dancer/hairdresser, a man who’ll put body pop into your hair.

But now he’s also a celebrity, what’s next for Anthony? Is he going to hit the party circuit? “Big time!” says he. “I’ll be giving it big licks!”

And what of a pop star girlfriend? “I wouldn’t mind ticking that box,” says Anthony lewdly.

And that’s not the only box he has his eye on. Having told us how he fancied his fellow BB contestants Saskia and Makosi, OK! wonders if Anthony will hook up with Orlaith, she of the fixed breasts.

“In the house there were seven or eight girls to choose from – now it’s millions,” says Anthony. “There are millions of Orlaiths out there now.”

He’s not wrong. You can’t cross a road without bumping into an Orlaith and having your eye nearly taken out by one of her protrusions.

And we’re not surprised to see that further into the magazine, OK! has caught up with one such creation.

This Orlaith, much like the others, has yellow hair, a ski-jump nose and is at pains to tell us how Big Brother occurred to her as if by magic.

When invited along for an audition, she flipped a coin to help her decide whether to go or not. When the interviewers asked her is she’d ever been with a celeb, she said yes – “because I didn’t think I’d go any further I just said yes.”

She kissed her housemate Craig not because she was desperate for the attention and needed to turn on the watching thousands to her charms but because “I felt sorry for him”.

She also thinks that Anthony and Makosi did have sex in the pool. “There was complete nakedness and we could hear the noises and what they were saying to each other. At that point I knew it was time to leave.”

But this classy girl is not always so intuitive, and is “surprised” at the attention her boobs got. “The Big Brother house was my home so I walked around like I would at home,” says she.

And so it goes, as this one in a million Orlaith presents herself like some modern day Mr Ben, walking along one day minding her polite business, then popping into a changing room only to emerge the other side almost naked and sticking out a chest you can hang a wet donkey jacket on.

Which calls to mind another of the late Warhol’s comments: “Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches…”’

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink