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The Class A List

by | 15th, September 2005

‘SOMEONE should have told Kate Moss that Prince Harry isn’t having a birthday party.

Love is not the only drug

But no-one did. And now we see Moss surely training for what did promise to be a legendary event, a veritable endurance contest of debauchery.

On the Mirror’s front page, readers get to see a full-page shot of “COCAINE KATE” snorting drugs.

Captured as part of the paper’s “undercover investigation”, there are images of Moss enjoying a hard session with “junkie lover” Pete Doherty.

As is the way with mo-dels, it’s important we know what the girl about town, and in this instance at a recoding studio, regards as cocaine chic. For the fashionistas, Kate sports high-heeled black boots, shorts and a low-cut vest top.

Having noted the outfit, budding Kate’s are shown how a model behaves when taking cocaine. The Mirror’s masterclass runs:

“CHOPPING”. Kate “lays out chunky lines of cocaine on a plastic CD cover”, although old rockers can use vinyl should they prefer.

“SNORTING”: She “hoovers up” the drug with a “tightly rolled £5 note”.

“LAUGHING”: “She rocks back in her seat in hysterics as the drug induced euphoria sets in.”

“SHARING”: Kate hands around the powder.

“PREPARING”: The supermodel lays out more coke for her friends to “snort”.

So there you have it. And if you want to know more, you can enrol on the Mirror’s second module in Cocaine Studies by simply turning the page and being tutored in “MIXING”, “USING”, “SLICING” and “STASH”.

It’s a sensation. “MODEL TAKES COCAINE” is the big news, to rank up there with “FOOTBALLER IN CLUB BRAWL”, “ROD STEWART DATES BLONDE” and “SATURDAY FOLLOWS FRIDAY”.

In any case, Moss shouldn’t worry too much – the photos appear in the Mirror, and there’s a chance, however slim, that the pictures aren’t even of her.

And it’s not like she’s dressed up as a Nazi or anything…’



Posted: 15th, September 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink