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Anorak | Take Hart

Take Hart

by | 11th, October 2005

‘THE Asian earthquake doesn’t make the front page of the Sun – not that the paper’s readers dodge tales of destruction and death.

Beneath a picture of Ronnie Barker, back from his new grave to plug a free DVD, the Sun is offering a £5,000 reward to bring the “sick thugs” who hung a puppy from a tree to justice.

Forget for a moment the war in Iraq. Move your eyes away from the piles of rubble in Pakistan. And know that a little puppy has been cruelly murdered. The Sun knows this is what matters most to the pet-loving British people.

And there’s more. The Sun’s front page says there’s been a fire. A terrible, terrible fire. Many are dead. The role call is grim.

Tony Hart’s pals Morph and Chaz? Dead. Pickles the guide dog? Dead. Rocky and Ginger? Dead. Douglas from the Lurpak butter ads? Melted.

And there’s dear old “sporty Frank”, who told us how his new central heating system was turn-on and turn-offable. He’s dead. Too warm and slow to run, Frank was cooked in his shell and headband.

But among the carnage, there is good news. The Sun hears a gentle tapping sound on charred timbers. And scrambling down with its hands, it locates Wallace and Gromit alive and well.

A “whole history” of Aardman Animations may well have gone up in smoke, in what the Mail calls “the Great Plasticine Inferno”, but the beloved man and his dog are still in the land of the living.

On a day of tragedy, this is some heartening news…’



Posted: 11th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink