Amazing Grace

‘WRITING for a magazine like OK! seems easy enough to the outsider.

Like many hacks, you too are paid by the word, but in your case the word is “amazing” and it can be repeated with a frequency that would leave an American teenager called Tiffany too tongue tied to talk.

Your days are easy. Life is good. And the spelling is impeccable. And then Paris Hilton arrives.

Paris is supposed to take over five or six pages of gripping copy. She will wax lyrical about videos, life, love, sex and what it’s like to be alive, in love and sexy. It’s simple. Hey, it’s amazingly simple.

But then the questions begin to fly. Question 1: “What do you think is hot these days?” Paris: “Well, I’m hot!”

You laugh a little. Paris has a sense of humour. She will be a good talker. Only Paris is no great storyteller; Paris is the queen of the one-liners.

OK!: “What inspires you these days?

Paris: Everything inspires me. My acting, my fashion. I’m inspired by me!

OK! “How much time do you spend with your dogs?”

Paris: “Every second.”

This is quick-fire repartee, reminiscent of vaudeville acts of yore. OK! sets ‘em up, and Paris smashes them down.

OK!: “How are you going to raise your kids?”

Paris: “Normal, on the beach, surfing, with a tan and a bikini?”

OK! (fighting to suppress the demonic images of a male Paris clone in a Gucci two-piece): “What about if the kids don’t like dogs?”

Paris: “Too bad!”

Amazing.’

Posted: 3rd, March 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink