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Anorak | Oranges & Felons

Oranges & Felons

by | 24th, June 2006

SATURDAY’S news that over 100 England fans had been arrested for behaving badly in Stuttgart made us blanch, or at least turn a lighter shade of orange. How many of this group were members of the Wags, the footballers’ wives and girlfriends, we wondered?

We feared the worst. On Monday Frank Lampard’s lover Elen Rives was heard yelling “F*** off!” to a group of Germans in a Baden Baden bar.

Surely the tone had been set. Just as we copy Elen and her pals’ love of orange skin, we ape other elements of their behaviour.

Who among us has not walked into a shop in Germany and in the style of Coleen McLoughlin spent £1440 on a Fendi handbag, £154 on Gucci sunglasses and £300 on a pair of Roberto Cavalli shorts, and teetered back onto the street atop two Louboutin stilettos (£395)? None that dare call themself an England fan.

While England supporters did as Elen and Coleen, the future Mrs Wayne Rooney jetted home to have her hair done.

A Number 1 all over for Coleen? We heard the Mail say that Victoria Beckham has developed a small bald patch on her head. This is surely a test area for Vicky’s ‘Skins’ look as she and the Wags look to further develop their football fan chic.

Would Coleen be first for the chop? “Before I left for Germany,” said Coleen, in that voice that makes whales sit up and listen, “I had copper and blonde hair extensions put in.” She went on: “I liked them at first, but after a while I decided I preferred my usual look.” So she had the false hair unwoven from her scalp and her own locks dyed to her “original” colour.

That was clear. But then came more trouble. With the plane booked and the Wags on a bus to the airport from England’s game against Sweden, someone needed the toilet. Who? We may

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Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink