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Anorak | This Is War

This Is War

by | 1st, July 2006

Winners

This isn’t football, this is war. Portugal is England’s oldest ally but it counts for nothing in the World Cup. Squaddies based at a British military base have been driving past the Portugal team’s hotel late at night honking their horns and generally making us much noise as possible.

“You can still smell the grass,” says the advertising blurb. “Which stadium you like, I can give you its air.” Chinese entrepreneur Li Jie is trying to cash in on his country’s love of football by selling bags of genuine World Cup air.

Ronaldinho gets in the mood by playing bongo drums on the team bus. Gilberto Silva is on guitar and Robinho provides the vocals.

Want to take Jurgen Klinsmann home with you? Now you can. Figurines of the German coach have been selling fast. Sold by the German FA, these statuettes are: “Absolutely lifelike and amazingly true to life”. And yours for €14.50.

Losers

The Germans are trying to make friends, right? Someone should tell newspaper Der Spiegle which called the Italian team “oiled up and greasy”. The article was late withdrawn.

The biggest team in the world Cup have been Australia. In a study comparing teams at the two World Cups to be staged in Germany (1974 and 2006), Australian had grown the most. In 1974 the average Australian player weighed 165lb and stood at 5ft 10½ in. Today’s Socceroo is 179lb and 6ft 1in.

And Goleo, the World Cup mascot, has been banned from making an appearance at a German school because he is naked from the waist down.



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