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Anorak | George Michael Cruises By

George Michael Cruises By

by | 26th, July 2006

“I’VE got no issue with cruising. I’ve talked about it many times. So they have to make me look like the gay Wayne Rooney, don’t they?”

That’s what George Michael has to say. And before we go on, we’d like to say that by cruising the singer means to search the streets and other public places for a sexual partner. He does not mean the kind of cruising Wayne Rooney was been up to of late, namely getting sunburnt on a boat in the South of France.

Indeed, what Wayne has to do with George’s kiss and grope on Hampstead Heath with Norman Kirtland is a moot point. Perhaps in the course of their entanglement, George planted his metatarsals in Norman’s groin. Perhaps Norman, described in the Star as “fat, balding, unemployed”, asked him to?

While we wonder why George is thinking of young Wayne in a moment like this, the singer has more to say.

George has placed a call to daytime TV’s Richard & Judy show and wants to explain his feelings about being caught in the bushes with 58-year-old Norman.

“I mean as much as I don’t want to be ageist or fattist, it’s dark out there but it’s not that dark. I’ve no idea who that guy was – but thank you very much, whoever he was,” says George in the Mirror.

George is an equal opportunities cruiser. And while the Sun produces a shot of Norman for it is he, George continues. “There can’t be shame unless the people involved are shamed and I’m certainly not that.”

And his lover, Kenny Goss, George’s Coleen McLoughlin, should not worry. George says cruising has “never been an issue” between them.

And they have not cancelled their wedding – it has just been postponed. George and Kenny are very much together and have just celebrated their tenth anniversary.

“My present to him was a million quid,” says George, “so I think I should get away with so-called fooling around with ‘Bernard Manning’.”

Aha! For Bernhard Manning, the overweight and foul-mouthed comedian – George’s nickname for Norman – should we read young Wayne’s masseuse Auld Slapper?

And, if so, should Kenny not expect something more than a million pounds? Why, that’s barely enough to keep Coleen in tracksuits…



Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink