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Anorak | Heath Extension

Heath Extension

by | 30th, July 2006

I WANT your sex, Norman Kirtland. Norman was 58-years-old and had a pot belly.

On Monday the Sun had a picture of Norman standing on his local Brighton beach. And it told its readers that Norman was the man caught having a “seedy liaison” with George Michael on London’s Hampstead Heath.

For his “romp” with George, Norman wore shorts, T-shirt and rubbish trainers. The man described as a “gay dogger” went on to explain.

“I don’t even like George Michael’s music,” said Norman, although it was not thought George was singing at the time of their meeting in the bushes at 2am on a weeknight. “I’m not a fan. I prefer soul music myself. I never liked Wham! or any of his stuff.”

Any soul singers striding manfully across Hampstead Heath would be advised to look out. If Norman kisses and fondles (Mirror) a singer he does not like, the mind boggles at what he’d do to one he does.

On Tuesday it was hot…again. Evidence of global warming it might have been, but our advice to bosses looking round their empty offices was (pace Noel) to See (Climate) Change As A Good Thing.

And might environmental change have played a small part in George and Norman’s entanglement? It’s hard to look anything but shady when hiding in the bushes out of the reach of the merciless sun.

Not that George was looking to excuse himself. “I’ve got no issue with cruising,” he said on Wednesday. I’ve talked about it many times. So they have to make me look like the gay Wayne Rooney, don’t they?”

By cruising the singer meant to search the streets and other public places for a sexual partner. He did not mean the kind of cruising Wayne Rooney had been up to of late, namely getting sunburnt on a boat in the South of France.

Indeed, what Wayne had to do with George’s kiss and grope on Hampstead Heath with Norman Kirtland was a moot point. Perhaps in

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Posted: 30th, July 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink