Carbon Neutral Politics

HOW green and environmentally responsible all our politicians are.

If it’s not Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett towing her caravan around Europe by her teeth, it’s Tony Blair installing an exercise bicycle on his jet to Barbados and harnessing the power of the Blairios tag-team cycling to keep the light above the toilet door alternating between “Occupied” and “Vacant” in a wholly responsible manner.

And now the Tories are going carbon neutral. The party’s burning torch logo is set to go. It is irresponsible to go about the place holding burning torches over our heads. We are not vigilantes on a witch hunt. We are nature’s beings, say the Tories.

So the fossil fuel-burning torch will be replaced by something new. And the favourite Tory totem is the spreading oak tree.

The Times says a prototype for the new design is blue and green, in keeping with the blue sky and the green jungles, even if the trunk is blue.

And perhaps it can change? It is after all a living tree. Perhaps the tree could reflect the party’s fortunes, dense foliage for the good times, a few bare branches for the lean. The leaves may be parted in the style of Mr David Cameron’s hair?

Keen to find out more, the Independent hears from a Tory source. “We are talking about using a clearer image,” says the insider. “The oak tree image is one of a wide range of designs on which party members and workers are being consulted throughout the summer."

Consultation is rarely a good idea on such matters. And it might be that after much group meetings and tree hugger-muggery no-one can agree and nothing changes.

The torch will remain in place. And the tree will be burnt to a crisp, or pulped and used to produce leaflets championing the Tories’ new green credentials…

Posted: 9th, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink