A Battle Royal

LOOK out for the official rose, the Lady Heather Mills McCartney memorial tartan and the Heather Portrait of a Young Wife Sheer Enchantment figurine.

As the front-page of the Mirror tells us, Heather has secured the services Anthony ‘Genius’ Julius, the very lawyer who represented Princess Diana in her divorce from Prince Charles.

Dr Julius is Vice-President of the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund, which currently offers to lend her sainted name to all manner of memorabilia, including a mother and baby range of goods (available only in Japan), a silk rose based on Jackson and Perkins’s Diana, Princess of Wales Rose (USA) and four 1,000-piece jigsaws (UK).

If Julius fails to get his client a big settlement – Diana scooped £17million – it is encouraging to think of Heather earning a few quid by lending her name to all manner of books, games and novelty devices.

And while we look forward to the Heather Mills Salt ‘n’ pepper mill, the Mail tells us that Sir Paul will be represented by Fiona “The Steel Magnolia” Shackleton, who – shock of shocks – was Prince Charles’s brief in the aforesaid royal divorce.

It a “RIGHT ROYAL SHOWDOWN” says the Star. And to help build the tension, the paper hears from Fiona. Says she: “I like sticking up for people, making sure they are not taken advantage of.”

And it hears from the actor Stephen Fry. He calls Julius “the most intelligent man I have ever met”.

Both sides will surely disagree on much. But they have reached a consensus on one key point: both Julius and Shackleton are worth £500-an-hour.

Who says no-one wins in a divorce?

Posted: 9th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink