Anorak | Toff His Head

Toff His Head

by | 16th, August 2006

“‘INSTANT JUSTICE’ TO NAIL THE YOBS,” announces the Sun, adding approvingly that police chiefs are demanding powers to bar the aforementioned troublemakers from town centres.

One candidate for such powers let’s call him Harry Baseball-Cap has been making a nuisance of himself in central London for some time, and his antics have gained him a certain notoriety in the pages of the Sun itself.

The paper describes how he smokes, drinks, “gropes pretty girls” and “enjoys lap-dancing” (whether as spectator or dancer it doesn’t say). He is often present during night-club brawls, although not as a participant, as the papers are always careful to add. Ditto his obvious refusal to join his “dope-smoking friends” in their filthy habit.

They are careful to add these qualifications because the estate from which this particular yob hails is a royal one. He is of course Prince Harry, and that makes quite a difference. Far from decrying his boorish behaviour, the Sun claims that “his popularity has sky-rocketed” and “he is now being hailed as the greatest playboy prince”. Furthermore, “Girls dream of a date while guys list Harry as the person they’d most like a beer with.”

A survey of the Anorak offices reveals a slightly different result. The “girls” put Harry below Tony Blair, Julian Barnes and Fred West on their list of dream dates, and he failed to make the “guys’” list of drinking companions at all.

Indeed, old Mr Anorak says

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Posted: 16th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink