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Anorak | Oliver’s Cooks Army

Oliver’s Cooks Army

by | 10th, September 2006

MONDAY and it was back to school.

After the thrills of summer, children were returning to the classroom. There they went, showing off their new Prada schoolbags packed with the latest electronic aids to learning.

Keen to display their fake bake tans and wow their friends with tales of what they got up to as they holidayed in exotic Heathrow Airport, they skipped from mum’s 4×4 to the school gates.

And standing at the gates to welcome them with a “Wotcha kidz” was Jamie.

Ten thousand school cooks are to be trained to, well, cook. But Education Secretary Alan Johnson, who is masterminding the scheme, cannot do it alone.

As a source close to Mr Johnson said: “One of the first things he did when he got the job was to pick up the phone to Jamie to throw some ideas around.”

And that was not Jamie Redknapp, Jamie Lee Curtis or Jamie Foxx. It was Jamie Oliver, the celebrity known above all else for his cooking. And there he was.

On Tuesday, as the playground was abuzz with talk of Steve ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin’s death, we half expected Jamie to pop up and tell us how nutritious croc burgers were.

As the Dianafication of Steve went on, the grief groupies breaking from their a weepin’ and a wailin’ to talk of State funerals, statues and porcelain figurines of the greatest Australian since Skippy, Jamie popped up again.

Jamie had a dream. “My dream is for our children to be able to cook THEIR children a lovely roast,” said Jamie, “not out of a box, but out of a butcher’s with fresh veggies and spuds.”

It was a noble aim. But we wondered how it fitted in with Jamie’s professional life as the celebrity face of a supermarket, purveyors of readymade meals.

Like Sainsbury’s Pork Somerset Brandy and Apples (with dextrose and xanthan gum), Sainsbury’s Steak & Kidney Casserole (with palm fat, dextrin and hydrogenated vegetable oil) and Sainsbury’s Just Cook Chicken Topped With Sausage & Bacon (with sodium metabisulphite, sodium ascorbate and tri-Phosphate).

Jamie was dreaming all right. The rest of us were just staring. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were posing with

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Posted: 10th, September 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink