Madonna Wants More

WHY it’s little Davie Twist, as we live and breath.

Madonna’s new boy is in olde London Town, learning to pick-a-pocket or two and that large amounts don’t grow on trees.

He’s also learning the alphabet, courtesy of the Sun. “A is for apple,” says the paper, wondering if little Davie Twist will bump into Gwyneth Paltrow’s boy at nursery.

“F is for Fat Auntie Elton [John]… M is for Malawi and Marble Arch… P is for pensioner. What mum will be when I’m a teenager…” And so on.

And here’s Madonna telling the Sun that she will do anything, for Davie, dear, anything, yes she’d do anything (anything?) anything for him.

In an Open Letter from Madonna, the new Kabbalah Jew of London Town, we learn: “It was my wish to open up our home and help one child escape an extreme life of hardship, poverty and, in many cases, death, as well as expand our family.”

And that’s a family that may yet expand some more. As the Mirror’s front page says: “NOW I WANT A GIRL.”

Madonna is reportedly keen to adopt a three-year-old girl from the same village as young David. “I saw this girl with the saddest smile,” says Madge. “I told Guy ‘We must give this child a home too.”

And so it will be. And very soon Madonna’s place will be packed to the rafters with little loves, each with a silk hanky on their pillows and glass of gin and warm water in their hands.

But all is not well. The Star tells us that there is trouble afoot and Madonna’s husband, Guy Ritchie, is reviewing the situation – “pals said the couple’s marriage is in crisis.”

If true, we fear Madge and Guy will separate, leaving Madonna alone in London with her brood.

But never fear, boys, chin up. Tis hot sausage and mustard for dinner, with piled peaches and cream for pudding…

Posted: 18th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink