Anorak | Wayne’s Parade

Wayne’s Parade

by | 24th, October 2006

WAYNE Rooney’s 21st birthday party promises to be quite some thing.

In readiness for the do, the Sun notes that Wayne’s whale-voiced lover Coleen McLoughlin has been out shopping.

“LOOK WHAT I GOT ROO,” says the headline. It’s “Coleen’s megabucks birthday gift spree”. And sure enough there’s a picture of Coleen pulling out all the credit cards to make Wayne’s coming of age a special day.

And the Sun knows what he’s getting. Look away now Wayne as we spot a wall-clock-sized, diamond–encrusted £30,000 Jacobs & Co Watch, a £15,000 golf simulator and a £5,000 Louis Vuitton man-bag with “lots of gold” on it.

And there will be more. After showing us what the gifts look like and telling us all about them, the Sun says, “but nobody knows for sure what her final choices were.”

But the Sun is wrong. And the Star is proud to announce on its front page that is knows exactly what Wayne will receive.

It’s “ROON’S 21 BUM SALUTE Robbie flashes B-day boy,” announces the paper As the Star says, Coleen has a “star-studded bash” lined up to celebrate Wayne’s birthday, and chief among the guests in Robbie Williams.

And for a “sneak preview of her raunchy surprise” we turn inside the paper and see… a computer-generated image of what an iced cake with 21 candles on it might look like.


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Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink