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Anorak | Happy To Serve

Happy To Serve

by | 6th, November 2006

WHAT did you do in the war?

“Well, son,” says the grandfather as he dandles the nipper on his aged knee. “I tuned into Channel 4 news and Sky news. I saw action on both sides, son.”

“I also tuned into the Fantasy Channel and gave and gave again to the cause.”

As the Star reports (“YOUR COUNTRY SEEDS YOU”), “brave” British soldiers are being recruited to alleviate a national sperm crisis.

The story is illustrated with a picture of Lord Kitchener issuing his call to arms from that famous “YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU” First World War recruitment poster.

If that is not enough to get the juices flowing, the Star has pictures of topless Michelle and Emily.
And thanks to the power of the telephone, our squaddies can become still further aroused by dialling a premium rate number and hearing Michelle and Emily say what they do in a typical day. Dreaming of squaddies is bound to feature highly.

Of course, this may not be great news for one and all. In a recent article for the Times, former footballer Tony Cascarino regaled us with news that before a match one seasoned pro would engage in a little tension breaker in the privacy of a toilet cubicle.

On the other hand, there are

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Posted: 6th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink