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Morrissey’s Eurovision

by | 9th, January 2007

HELLO HELSINKI!

It’s Manchester’s favourite musical miserabilist Morrissey. And he’s making ready to sing his entry in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

And Morrissey is certainly capable of creating a song for Europe. Was it not he who sang “Now I know how Joan of Arc felt/ As the flames rose to her roman nose/ And her Walkman started to melt”? Joan of Arc was French, her nose Italian. Such tributes to foreign nations and their notables will surely impress judges and score easy points.

Although Morrissey should note that the contest represents a two-tier Europe. The likes of Albania, Belarus and Switzerland are put through the rigours of a semi-final before they get the chance to take on the more established singing states. The danger is that a lyrical tribute to Albanian hero Gjergj Kastrioti Skanderbeg will be wasted and play badly with the Turks.

But if anyone can restore a sense of musical pride to a nation beaten down by Simon Cowell, last year’s UK entrant Daz Simpson and the previous year’s entrants Gemini – “nil points” – it is Morrissey.

The genius behind Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Know, who trilled “Armageddon – come Armageddon! Come, Armageddon! Come!”, will be an antidote to the usual Eurovision fare.

Morrissey will scratch away the veneer of Eurovision happy-clappy unity and expose the deep tribal divisions and bigotry beneath.

The only wonder is that it has taken this long for Morrissey to be called upon to serve his country. Recalling last year’s dire UK entry, Morrissey says: “I was horrified but not surprised to see the UK fail again. There’s a question I keep asking myself – why didn’t they ask me? It keeps going round in my head.”

Even Morrissey’s questions are catchy. And we begin to wonder if the man can bring home the trophy that has eluded the UK since Katrina And The Waves were walking on sunshine back in 1997?

Come on, Morrissey. Sing! Sing! Sing!

“Come, Come, Come – nuclear bomb…”



Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink