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Of Course Beer Goggles Exist: How Else Do you think Us Mingers Get Laid?

by | 14th, May 2014

PA 9369513 Of Course Beer Goggles Exist: How Else Do you think Us Mingers Get Laid?

 

IT’S quite remarkable how scientists manage to come up with proofs of what everyone over the age of 12 already knows. Time and time again we get press releases telling us that this or that piece of obvious, culturally embedded, good sense is indeed actually true. That they’re proving these things with our tax money does rather grate but perhaps it’s better that these people be kept in the labs rather than being out in the community or anything.

The latest is proof that beer goggles exist:

Finding people more attractive after a few drinks has long been known as the ‘beer goggle’ effect – but experts are divided about whether this phenomenon actually exists.

To put it to the test, researchers from Bristol conducted lab experiments to gauge whether drink changed people’s perceptions of what is attractive.

Volunteers were asked to look at photos of men, women and landscapes before and after drinking – and in every category alcohol affected their perceptions.

Well of course they do! How else does anyone think that mingers manage to get laid? And that we do is also obvious: a gentle stroll through any British town will show that an alarmingly large number of people manage to procreate without having the looks necessary to do it for fun while sober.

What does rather alarm though is that these scientists are taking their research out into the real world of pubs.

It is conducting tests over four nights at three pubs in Bristol: the Green Man, the Portcullis and the Victoria.

In Bristol? It’s a horrifying thought that there’s enough alcohol in the world to make Bristolians (and sadly, I actually know those three pubs) attractive enough to shag but it must be true that there is for the place does manage to replicate itself each and every generation.

That it does is clearly all the proof anyone could ever need for the reality of beer goggles. There’s no other possible explanation for the continued existence of the place.



Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Money, News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink