Church Banns Pete Doherty

IT’S September 11 2006. And the Star leads with news that Pete Doherty loves Kate Moss.

So much does Pete love Kate that he is prepared to marry her. This is all well and good.

But don’t we want more from the man with the hit rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle (if not the hit rock ‘n’ roll songs) than conventional marriage. Come on, Pete, shock us.

Pete seems to have heard our plea. And the Star says he will break with tradition and write his own wedding banns. Nice try Pete, but where have you been? Everyone writes their own banns these days. You need to go further. Come on, Pete. Come on. Try.

But we need not fear. This is Pete Doherty and he is edgy, different and, er, edgy. He has heard our clamour for something daring. And we read that he wants to write his wedding banns…in blood. And the chosen liquid is not the vicar’s blood but his own.

Nice work, Pete. But you’re ahead of your time. A friend of the 27-year-old singer says when Pete turned up at Fulham Town Hall to fill in the forms, bureaucratic spoil sports scuppered his “romantic gesture”.

As a source says: “It was explained to him that there are health issues and council rules.” Yes, Pete Doherty, wild man of pop has been stymied by health and safety guidelines.

Realising that blood was off, and other personal fluids would be unlikely to receive a more favourable response, Pete declined the chance to select from an array or approved Biros and left.

But no mere Biro can stand between Pete and his destiny. And we excitedly await the next instalment of Pete and Kate.

And Pete walking up the aisle backwards or doing something else equally whacky, outrageous and rock ‘n’ roll…

Posted: 11th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink