Anorak | No Hassel

No Hassel

by | 8th, July 2004

‘MISSING feared drunk.

The Hoff-meister

Please be on the look-out for a white middle-aged male with brown hair (head, chest, legs and back) brown sunglasses, denim jacket (collar up), brown loafers (no socks) and hero complex.

David Hasselhoff, aka Michael Knight, aka Mitch Buchannon, aka Hassel the Hoff is at large.

If you see this man perhaps he’ll be standing on a wall and singing to himself in German do not approach him or attempt to strike up a conversation.

Immediately contact the Cirque Lodge rehabilitation centre in Utah.

That’s where, according to the National Enquirer, the man with the million-mile stare should be.

Only he’s not, because having been booked into the exclusive clinic for three months in a bid to eradicate his alcohol problems, Hasselhoff checked out early.

And that’s not good enough, because the Enquirer has it that the last time Hasselhoff failed to last the course he

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Posted: 8th, July 2004 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink