Anorak | Go West

Go West

by | 13th, December 2004

‘WELCOME to the new look Ellis Island.

Sophie tries to stop herself hitting the wall

Leave your old Asda carrier bags by the door, step right up onto the stage and tell the judges in two singing, dancing verses or fewer why you would like make it big in the United States.

Coronation Street’s Chris Quentin, Bruce Forsyth and Victoria Beckham have all failed this part of the test and been sent packing.

But the Enquirer is always on the look-out for new arrivals twirling wide-eyed and hopeful down the gangplank of the HMS Superstar. And this week it spots Sophie Anderton.

And boy, does Sophie have some baggage. ”Top US relationship expert” and immigration official Dr Gilda Carle says that ”Sophie hit the wall out there in the jungle”.

It was nothing but a headlong collision that could either ”kill her or cure her”.

Dr Gilda then flips open Sophie’s health chart and nods sagely. She looks up.


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Posted: 13th, December 2004 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink