Mounting Casualties

‘OLD Mr Anorak has asked us to release the following statement.

Behind You!

“Newspaper reports in this morning’s newspapers linking me with Kimberly Quinn are quite vile,” he says.

“I am a happily married man and I am consulting my lawyers over these untrue and deeply upsetting allegations.

“Oh, okay, so I did sleep with her, but only occasionally – and only in a couple of different positions and always with the light out.”

Kimberly Quinn is fast turning into a marginally less deadly version of Harold Shipman – the number of old men who have become her victims grows by the day.

While this morning’s Mail asks “So was there a fourth man?”, the Star claims to have uncovered a fourth and fifth.

One mystery man is said to be “a well-known and highly respected married politician”, the other “a famous figure in TV news broadcasting”.

And a sixth – a wealthy property tycoon – was said to have had “difficulty escaping her attentions”.

This prompts the Star to follow Anorak’s lead and publish a car sticker for its readers, “Honk if you HAVEN’T slept with Blunko’s slapper”.

It promises to be a quiet day on Britain’s roads…’

Posted: 21st, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink