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Anorak | Prince Harry’s Retreat

Prince Harry’s Retreat

by | 8th, February 2007

PRINCE Harry Baseball Cap’s preparations for the front line are progressing well.

Young Harry knows that there are bigger fights to fight than the brawl at London’s Mahiki Club.

As Dirk Tourette, he of the Towers of London tribute band, clashes with a clubber (identified as Big Brother star emeritus Donny Tourette in the Mirror), Harry leaves by the back door.

Good training and a sound judgement enable Harry to know which exits to use in a time of high tension and no little danger.

The Sun has a picture of Harry, his cheeks pinched red by the chill night air and the effects of Neptune Bounty – a £50 vodka and rum cocktail delivered in a diver’s helmet and meant to serve eight. He is leaving by the back door.

This is the “HARRIED EXIT” (Mirror). “Prince flees out back as fight erupts in club.” Surely, this is a mistake. Brave is the man who keeps his powders dry. Who among you says Harry is no fighting man? Stand up and make yourself known. If you dare.

Harry may not yet be battle hardened, but he knows to trust his instincts. As we say, there are bigger fights at hand than the spot of handbags between a minor popstar and an unknown other.

But before Harry makes a strategic withdrawal, the Sun delivers a report on his night out.

The evening begins at 5:15pm sharp when the young Blues and Royals officer leaves barracks to watch Brail play Portugal at Arsenal’s stadium. Harry is given a seat in a VIP box and free beer.

At 11:30pm, Harry arrives at the aforementioned Mahiki dance venue. Sah! He converses with Madonna and her husband Mr Guy Ritchie. Sah! Harry smokes cigarettes. And at 3:45 Harry arrives back at barracks. Sah!

Harry’s recce of the local terrain and life is at an end. He writes his report. The papers write theirs.

And Harry waits for his chance against the Taliban…



Posted: 8th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink