From BB To DD: Big Brother Danielle Lloyd’s Busty 70-Year-Old Head
DANIELLE Lloyd, the Big Brother bully, is preparing to offer Star readers a world exclusive. That is, of course, those Star readers not employed by Messers Nip ‘n’ Tuck.
“Dani’s NEW boobs,” says the front-page headline. “WORLD EXCLUSIVE”. “From Celeb BB to a “32DD!”
If the Star was printed on scented paper, readers would be met by the smell of a newly opened box of shoes.
But the Star is not a multi-sensory experience, just a feast for the eyes. It is not sprayed with Eau De Dani (top notes of orange, bottom notes or orange and middle notes of Oxo cube and chicken blood).
Moreover, the Star is not printed on tissue paper. And readers move to the centre pages and note, disappointingly, that Dani’s new breasts are attached to Dani’s old body.
And they remain under wraps.
Dani, dressed in only a pair of pink knickers, leans on her front, her nipples concealed from view. Dani sits up and uses a knee and two hands to cover her chest. Dani pulls a strip of the kind of meshed material used to pack Gallia melons on shipping crates over her chest and crotch.
And it becomes evident that we are not seeing Dani’s news breasts. They are either shy or not yet set firm.
So Dani introduces them by word. Says she: “Now I’ve got these great curves and I’m ready to show myself off to the world.”
Dani thanks Star readers for the “flood of messages” sent her way. “I’ve had a lot of messages wishing me better,” says Dani.
And Star readers have got their wish because Dani is better than ever. Thanks top two boob upgrades in the past month, Dani is better to the tune of 32DD. Dani says this is her “perfect size”.
And this is not all. Says Dani: “I’m learning really fast and I think I’ve got a 70—year-old’s head on my shoulders these days.”
Indeed, it’s not hard to imagine Dani walking down the swankier parts of Liverpool’s Albert Dock marina with the head of a 70-year-old ex-footballer resting on her shoulder, his mouth chomping on little blue diamond-shaped pills and dribbling down her new cleavage.
Posted: 10th, May 2007 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink
